Step Nine - Made direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
From: Paths to Recovery pg. 90-91 (copyright 1997, by Al-Anon Family Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.)
In making amends, we need to understand that we are not necessarity making an apology. There are differences between amends and apologies. In making an apology we usually say "I'm sorry" expecting a response of acceptace, pardon or forgiveness. In making our amends, we may state our errors, our role in the incident and that we will correct our behavior for the future. We may or ma not ask for forgiveness, and we may or may not experience a positive response. In many cases our changed behavior indcated stronger amends than words could ever be. If we have any expectations of the response to amends, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.
Thank you all for the great shares on this board ad thank you John for posting this for me. Love - Dot
When I came to this Step, some of my amends had already been made in my changed behavior. However, I needed to verbalize about my actions to the people closest to me who were affected. By doing this I let them know that I realized just what actions of mine had been unacceptable. This Step made a tremendous difference in the way I felt inside. I had faced some very difficult truths and like what happened with my sponsor when I shared my Fifth Step, I was still loved and accepted.
Hugs - Dot