If you have a Big Book, read the chapter to the agnostics as well as the chapter of how it works. I think these two chapters will help settle your neves with the 'god' thing.Enjoy the journey. It's a good one :)
The shock and grief are subsiding; I have known I would have to deal with this at some point. The reality is no one is surprised, just another step going forward. I didnt ask for it, didnt want it but as usual no choice had to deal with it. Im not happy, but I will go on and work on getting a life. I have set myself and my partner free. Free to choose our own lives, make our own choices and hopefully move to a higher level of peace within ourselves. A long time ago I was told change has to happen, so I decided the change would be stronger that would be the change. Now I have to let go give him his freedom to take charge of his life. How I hope he will, I want nothing but the best for him. I am strong and will survive and get a life as well. Were at the point where there is less years to work with, less time to decide what we want out of our lives. So now is the time to be strong and find peace as individuals we can no longer be partners or a couple. I did not cause it, I can not control it, I can not cure it. We've been together 40 years its been a month tommorow that I conceeded and surrender he is a alcoholic, and there's nothing I can do but surrender and admit I am powerless. I can control myself and find my way no longer allowing him to suck me down with him. I did'nt realize how it effected me. I will do what needs to be done for me, for the first time in my life I'm on my own and will rebuid my life for I have no power to control or cure anyone else but me. This is my first time online, Im keeping a journal so I can track my progress and deal with the everyday that's what I can do.