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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> ALANON STEP 6
Post Info TOPIC: ALANON STEP 6
hotrod


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ALANON STEP 6
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Step Six

Were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character

Paths to Recovery ( page 65)

We know we have character defects and have some idea of the pain and difficulties they cause. Step six does  not rid us of these defects , it  only asks us to become ready. Are we ready?

With the guidance of our sponsor or group we know when we are ready.  I may have taken a break after  working the first five steps but  unless I am fearlessly striving to complete the step, I may falter. Many of us have identified character defects and shared them with God and yet we still like them. They are comfortable and familiarmuch like our own slippers. We really dont want to discard them yet----. Working step 6 is a powerful help as we can use  prayers and ask God for the willingness.

My share

I can so identify with the last few sentences of this reading. I did cherish many of my defects because I felt that they were fun and I enjoyed them. Some of which were gossiping, judging, criticizing and sarcasm. That is just to name a few.

 My sponsor suggested that I could not force myself to want to let go of these but that I could keep going to meetings, using the slogans, reading my daily readers and ask HP each day for help. That would surely make me entirely ready. I did just that and the reading in the ODA T for October 22 really helped me.

 It stated:  that after being in Al-Anon for a while we get to the point that we understand that it is wise to to examine our motives and our drivers so that we can see what we are doing and thinking that is hurting ourselves . That the search for self understanding may be difficult but it is not impossible and that we can learn a great deal about ourselves if we have the courage to look.  The reading also points out that it is extremely  important to see our good points. That by recognizing these good points we are acknowledging the foundation which we are going to build upon and it is not an act of pride or conceit as many of us feared.

 

 If we recognize that the good qualities  are "God-given,"  we will be able to accept these good qualities with humility while experiencing joy in what is pleasant loving and generous within ourselves.

 

We can then look at the negative tools that we have used  to cloud over these positive attributes and be willing to let them go.  I was also able to finally see that these negative tools that I used(gossip, judging, criticizing and sarcasm) hurt me much more than they helped me because  after I used them I always felt guilty and disconnected from my friends.  They did not enriched me in any fashion but detracted from my well-being and serenity.

 

Once I finally accepted this truth I was very willing to be entirely ready to have HP list each and everyone. I also truly believed that underneath this self-imposed negativity lay a rich foundation of kindness, generosity, compassion, love, empathy, courage and wisdom.

 

The quote from Walt Whitman:" I am larger, better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness. "  Prove to be very true.

 

All the steps are  a process and this one is as well. Keeping an open mind, being willing to let in new thoughts and ideas and trusting HP works miracles.

 

 

 

Step six questions

How can I look at all these characteristics from a different point of view?

How do I encourage those I sponsored work the step?

 

What does have God remove all of my defects mean to me?

 

Which defects also contain asset?

 

What fear keeps  me from being entirely ready?

 



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Betty
cloudskies


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Posts: 8
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Were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character

 

The character defects that I have that were weighing me down, pulling me into insanity, were anger, rage, resentment, grudge holding,  and perfectionism. These character defects were destroying me. When I came to Al-Anon, I began learning how to let go and give these defects to God. I have learned how to stop playing God myself. I'm also learning that it's OK to be angry but I do not need to hold on to it. I just need to feel it and then free it. These are all such negative characteristic, that I can find nothing positive about them. Maybe, perhaps perfectionism, because it encourages me to keep working toward this, even though I know it's something that can never be achieved.

While I'm not a sponsor, I find myself, when talking with family members and friends who have problems, using the steps and slogans as advice.  

I remember for a while, I did not want God to remove these defects because I felt I had a right to feel these emotions. I had every right to feel anger and rage because my ah was destroying himself and me. I had a right to feel resentments toward him as he was destroying my life. Now I know holding on to these defects was destroying me, causing my life to be a total wreck. Having God remove these defects has given me freedom to live. The weight pulling me into insanity has been released. And while I still experience slips of anger, I know how to feel it and free it.smile



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Look for the rainbow after the storm. I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE.

Linda
hotrod


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Posts: 1023
Date:
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Great share Linda I love your wisdom and clarity Letting go of the negative helped me to feel the joy and happiness that was so avialable each day. Love the idea " Feel it and free it " Great slogan.

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Betty
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