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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> New to board- children come first
Post Info TOPIC: New to board- children come first
Luna22


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New to board- children come first
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I am new to this board and going to my first meeting on Tuesday. I have been married to an alcoholic for 7 years. He has been sober for most of our marriage with two short relapses. This one was the worst and he left the house Sunday. We have 3 kids under the age of 6. If it wasn't for them I would never have him back.  His first relapse the kids were very young and only lasted a few weeks. He can stay sober 2-3 years. My kids are getting older and "hiding" him will get harder. He has only been drinking once if front of them and they had no clue (this was after I asked him to leave). To be honest the drinking doesn't bother me as much as the depression. He's not an angry drunk he just gets sad. He rarely drinks at home it's when he is traveling for work (which isn't good either). He's not fun to be around and I enjoy life. I feel like he is bringing me down- is that selfish? He's a great hands on dad and I know would never leave the kids. He even came over tonight to put the kids to bed.  He comes from an alcoholic family and I don't want my kids being raised the same.  I am just struggling with breaking up the family. Do I stay and risk this will happen again (its emotionally and physically draining) or do I leave and raise my kids in a stable environment. I will be fine either way....I just want to do what's best for them.



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hotrod


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Hello Luna Welcome to MIP  You have posted to a to a step board that is only visited by those wanting to work the steps. We have an Al-Anon message board that can be reached by the following address;

http://alanon.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42727

What you have described sounds very much like the disease of alcoholism. Is important to realize that we didn't cause this disease cannot control his and cannot cure. It is progressive and chronic, and can be arrested and never cured.

I understand your concern for your children and would like to suggest that you visit the Al-Anon board and also search out Al-Anon face-to-face meetings in your community.

These meetings can be found by checking the white pages for the hotline number. It is here that I learned to keep the focus on myself, act in my own best interest and rebuild my self-esteem. You are not alone. Keep coming back

Betty

 



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Betty
ldbobay


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Hi Luna,
I too have an alcoholic husband and I worry that the kids will develop the disease since both my husband and I grew up in alcoholic homes. When my children were small, I didn't have a program to work, I just tried to control the situation on my own. Now that my kids are much older, one just out of college, two in college and one in high school, I have found a wonderful Al-anon group that I attend weekly. I have changed. I work on myself with the steps, the help of my higher power and my Alanon friends and sponsor.
I am giving my husband, the kids and everything I have no control over to my higher power. I am so thankful for my program. When I change myself, everything else in my life changes as well. I have to put my own oxygen mask on before I can help others put theirs on.
Blessings,
Lori

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