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Post Info TOPIC: Alanon Step 6 (11-15-2016)


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Alanon Step 6 (11-15-2016)


step 6

Became entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character

C2C ."page 319 this is a quote from Alateen One Day at a Time; "Step six is my chance to cooperate with God. My goal is to make myself ready to let go of my faults and let God take care of the rest."

 

My share

When I first attempted to work this step ,my sponsor advised me to "Keep an Open Mind," attend meetings, read my literature, stay focused on myself and HP would show me clearly the result of keeping these destructive behaviors and attitudes in my life. I would feel the pain, the negative emotions caused and would then be willing to ask for them to be lifted in Step 7. I did see that. I saw that lived in the past or the future never the present (where true change can occur) and I did not want to take care of myself!!! These issues were deeply ingrained within my being and I could no longer afford to "Blame" others for causing them or being responsible.  HP did not disappoint me!! I did feel the intense pain of my holding on to anger, resentment etc. I may not have been fully responsible for the actions that caused them but being out of denial I could own the fact that these were now ingrained within me and were very hurtful. They were fully mine and the only way to accept them was to think, know and feel the pain caused by retaining the anger.

 When the pain of holding on to my Way", my "Anger", "my Sadness, my Fear" was too overwhelming I became entirely ready to move to the 7th Step and ask HP to remove them.

 

You see I had tried many times in the past to remove these defect but my efforts never worked on the very deep level where they lived. . When I surrendered to this program I became willing to recover and use these tools to grow and change.   I stopped trying to do it my way and although I loved some of my defects (my anger, my critical way) I was willing to let them go in order to grow.

 

That is when I surrendered my defects to HP.

 


 

Step 6 Questions

 

1.  What are the hard-to-handle beliefs, behaviors, feelings, wants, or needs that you're struggling with right now?  You may want to begin affirming that you are becoming ready to let go of these issues.


2.  How would it make your life different if you believed that you could just relax and let this process called recovery happen to you?


3.  Make a list of everything you would like changed about yourself.  Include on it the things you would like to stop doing, things you would like to start doing, any family-of-origin work you'd like to accomplish, things you'd like to get and have.  Put everything you can think of on the list, everything you'd like to be part of your future.  Then put the list away and let go of everything on it.


4.  Do you believe it's safe to trust God and this process called recovery?

 

Make a list of character defects that you are ready to have God remove.

.

Pick a defect of character that seems to be troubling you such as a resentment or jealously of a person, place, or thing, or perhaps pride or procrastination. Ask yourself if you are entirely ready to give it up. If you are, then it is time to take Step Seven. If you are not ready, make a list of the reasons why you still want to keep that defect. What are the pay-offs for giving the defect up? What are the pay-offs for keeping it? Now, ask God to help you to be willing to give this character defect up.


List the character defects you really enjoy that "masquerade" as something other than they are. Now make a list of your positive character assets. Check and see if any 'positives" are really masquerading" negatives.

Also, write on what step #6 means to you.

.

Step #6 is my chance to ask God to step in and clear away any character defect that I want removed. But first, I must first recognize the defect (which may take a lot of time) and be willing to let it go by God's grace. When I become aware of a defect, the program teaches me to ask God for the willingness to be willing to ask the defect to be removed. I do this my morning prayer that takes place after my morning reading. This is one of the housekeeping steps that I must work from time to time.

Good Luck It works if you work it !!!



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Betty


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1.  What are the hard-to-handle beliefs, behaviors, feelings, wants, or needs that you're struggling with right now?  You may want to begin affirming that you are becoming ready to let go of these issues.

 

The biggest behavioral issue that Ive had, that has held me back in my personal life, is not being able/willing to ask for what I want or need.  Am I hungry?  I probably wont tell you about it.  Am I uncomfortable with a conversation topic?  Ill just sit there and suffer.  Do I want to leave the party because Ive had enough socializing for today?  No idea how to accomplish that.  You brought home two new puppies for the children, without telling me in advance, and now the puppies are chewing up everything in the house?  Not a clue how to express my feelings about that. You straight-out asked me if your drinking bothered me.  I hemmed and hawed, because I thought you wouldnt like my answer (Yes! It bothers me!) so I mumbled something about it making me worried.  

 

As I analyze these situations from the past, I did not have the motivation to change, as I didnt think I was worthy of having what I need; I was fearful of what would happen if you didnt like what I said what if I hurt your feelings, what if you thought less of me, what if I was being too demanding? I also did not have the skill to say what I mean, mean what I say, and not say it meanly.

 

While some of the yous in this story are no longer here, the rest of the world is still here, and Im still here, so it would be to my benefit to let go of this unproductive behavior.

 

2.  How would it make your life different if you believed that you could just relax and let this process called recovery happen to you?

It would feel great.  Seems too good to be true.  I seem to have an easier time trusting that HP will take care of others than that HP will take care of me, or that I will take care of myself.

 

3.  Make a list of everything you would like changed about yourself.  Include on it the things you would like to stop doing, things you would like to start doing, any family-of-origin work you'd like to accomplish, things you'd like to get and have.  Put everything you can think of on the list, everything you'd like to be part of your future.  Then put the list away and let go of everything on it.

 

Lets just start with the one thing: I would like to stop withholding my own wants and needs, and to start expressing what I want and need, clearly and without fear or resentment.  So, do I put that defect in the God box?  I can do that.  Im going to get a God box.

 

4.  Do you believe it's safe to trust God and this process called recovery?

 

Well, HP has demonstrated a pretty good track record so far.  I believe its safe to trust the process.

 

 

 


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Hi Freetime Thanks for your honest and thoughtful response to this important Step.I appreciate the fact that you are sharing the journey

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Betty


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What are the hard-to-handle beliefs, behaviors, feelings, wants, or needs that you're struggling with right now?

I believe the hardest feelings I'm struggling with right now are resentment and anger.  I truly love my AH and I am forever grateful that he has found the program, but I am really struggling with letting go of years of emotional and verbal abuse.  Most of which he doesn't even remember.  I have truly been praying about this and have talked with other Al-Anons about it.  I do want to let it go.  I know in my head that it can't be changed and that I am who I am from learning to cope with it.  I am just having a hard time convincing my heart.

How would it make your life different if you believed that you could just relax and let this process called recovery happen to you?

It would relieve the anger and set me free.  I'm getting there.  Slowly.

Make a list of everything you would like changed about yourself.  Include on it the things you would like to stop doing, things you would like to start doing, any family of origin work you'd like to accomplish, things you's like to get and have.  Put everything you can think of on the list, everything you'd like to be part of your future.  Then put the list away and let go of everything on it.

Wow! I will do this on paper so that I have a concrete list to put away! There are so many things that I want to be part of my future.  Mostly a happy, functioning family.  I'll write it down and put it away.....let it go.  Thank you for this suggestion!

Do you believe it's safe to trust God and this process called recovery?

I have always believed it's safe to trust God.  Even during the dark times, He has been with me.  As I become more and more free from the powerlessness and insanity of alcoholism, I trust the recovery process more.



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Kim C


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Hi Kim Thanks for your honest and in depth share . I can so identify and would like to state that the anger, resentment self pity and fear that I carried due to the drinking days has been lifted and I am eternally grateful to HP and this program for this gift. Keep up the good work. I still have all the memories but the pain is gone. Trust the process.

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Betty


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Thanks Betty.  I'll continue to work the program and pray.  It's good to have some encouragement that these feelings will not last forever.



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Kim C


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awwI agree  Keep up the good work



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Betty
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