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Post Info TOPIC: Alanon Step 10 (1-5-2017)


Guru

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Alanon Step 10 (1-5-2017)


Step 10
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted  it 
 
C2C reading page 164,"  on this new day, let me quickly reflect and search out any negative feelings that are left over from yesterday. Old resentments will interfere with my serenity today. Perhaps it's time to let them go.
Quote  from "In All Our Affairs":" Each day, each new moment can be an opportunity to clear the air and start again fresh and free
 
My share
This is an extremely  important step, that I work every day  and  have made it part of my nightly rituals .  As I review my day, trying to learn from the interactions that I have had, I try to stay detached, looking at my day as if I was observing someone else .  I search out  where I might have used my negative destructive tools of sarcasm, judgment or blame.  I  then  examine my motives and own my part in each disagreement or unhealthy thought or response.  I forgive myself for being human and then talk to my sponsor about the issue the next morning 
 This Step keeps me current and honest. In addition , I do not have to  work  a huge 4 through
9 th step going forward. By so doing I  am sure to keep growing and changing . 
 
This is indeed a powerful program. I work the first 3 step ,as well as the  the 10th  and 11th step daily
 
Step 10 activities
 
 
1. How do you continue your process of self-awareness and inventorying?
 Do you spend time each morning or evening reviewing your day? Or do you allow your insights to happen naturally, as you go through life and recovery? Do you combine tactics? What works best for you?

2. When was the last time you caught yourself doing something you didn't feel good about?
 Did you take care of the issue promptly?

3. Either daily or weekly, force yourself to find one thing in your life and one idea about yourself that is good. Affirm that good until it sinks in and feels real. Strive to find one thing that you like about someone who is important to you, then take the risk of telling that person.

4. Watch for ways that fear, anger, and resentment arise in your life. Watch for beliefs underlying these feelings. Watch for ways that your anger toward yourself influences your anger and behavior toward others and yourself.

 
What negative traits did I exhibit today?
 
How did I try to fix someone today?
 
Did I abandoned my own needs today? How?
 
If I was wrong, did I promptly admit it?
 
What positive traits did I exhibit today?
 
Why do I resist having my defects removed?
 
 
 
 

 

 


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Betty


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How do you continue your process of self awareness and inventorying?

I tend to let my insights happen naturally.  I am in contact daily with people in recovery and we share with each other.  The process of just going through things together brings the insights to the forefront.

When was the last time you caught yourself doing something you didn't feel good about? Did you take care of the issue promptly?

I recently caught myself in a cycle of feeding animosity between my husband and one of his employees.  The employee happens to be in AA with my husband so we began to pick apart his program as well as hashing the bad feelings from work over and over.  I knew it was not a good situation but was really not sure how to stop.  We met with my husband's sponsor and got some great experience, strength and hope.  

Either daily or weekly, force yourself to find one thing in your life and one idea about yourself that is good. Affirm that good until it sinks in and feels real.  Strive to find one thing that you like about someone who is important to you, then take the risk of telling that person.

Today, I have a great family and I am a hard worker.  I will remind myself that I am worth my paycheck and that I am blessed with an intact family who loves each other.  I will begin to be "on purpose" with finding things I like about people important to me and telling them.

Watch for ways fear, anger and resentment arise in your life.  Watch for beliefs underlying these feelings. Watch for ways your anger toward yourself influences your anger and behavior toward others and yourself.

Fear gives birth to anger and resentment in my life.  When I feel my security threatened, I become fearful. Then I become angry and resentful towards whoever or whatever I believe has caused my insecurity.  I am working daily to take the fear to God so that the anger and resentment don't take over.  

I am going to print out the list at the end and use it to recount my day.  Thank you!

 



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Kim C


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Thank you Kim for your steadfastness in working through these Steps. I appreciate your dedication and honesty. Step 11 next week :)

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Betty


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Posts: 20
Date:

How do you continue your process of self-awareness and inventorying?

Currently on my daily commute by train into work, I read AlAnon material on my phone, and this often sparks thoughts about my own recovery, and the knowledge and tools I have gained. Every evening I read the MIP boards, and other AlAnon related material, and this also sparks self awareness. Working the steps is also extremely helpful in self-awareness.

When was the last time you caught yourself doing something you didn't feel good about? Did you take care of the issue promptly?

Fear and worry are some of my defects. One thing I worry about is my adult daughters weight and the effects it might have on her health in the future. I also worry that she drinks more than is healthy. The two of us spent a lovely day together this past weekend, and I noticed myself thinking about it. I never comment to her about this, as I know it would be destructive. I know that she knows intellectually how to manage weight and have a healthy lifestyle, and any action she takes will only be if and when she is ready. I focus on her positive qualities, which are many. I also know that she is familiar with the Al-Anon program, she has attended in the past, she knows I attend, and she knows the negative effects of alcoholism on a person because of what happened to her father. She has the knowledge. Everything else is up to her and her higher powers. I handle the issue by reminding myself that I am her mother, but not her higher power, and that worrying about the future is useless.

What negative traits did I exhibit today?

None so far, but its only 10:45 am.

What positive traits did I exhibit today?

I avoided doing something for someone that they could do themselves. Some people at work asked me how to prepare for a meeting that was coming up in about an hour. I advised them to read the email that had been sent by our leader last week, which explained what was needed for the meeting. (I hope I said this nicely I just tried to be matter-of-fact about it). So, co-workers read the email and one of them ran around helping everyone else prepare, and it all worked out fine. Higher powers.



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((Freetime)) loved the example of directing co workers to an email instead of instructing each how to prepare. Program works so well in all aspects of my life and I can see that you have embraced the power of the program and utilize any down time to study the tools. Thanks for your share

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Betty
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