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Post Info TOPIC: Step 1


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Step 1

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol ( addiction, drugs, people, places, things) and that our  lives (minds) have become unmanageable.

I have tried to work on the steps for over at least 6 months.  I have been going to F2F meetings for 3 years.  I feel like it is too painful to think about this stuff!  I feel stuck!  I also feel like I can't forgive my AH for all the things he has "done to me".

1. Have you been trying to exert power or influence where you may, in reality, have none?
As far as my AH, I try my best to detach and let him run his own program.  We had little to no communication while he was using and I feel that it is still the same.  Don't get me wrong.  It is a two way street.
I have two grown children.  It seems, right now, a little easier to detach as I started the program when they were in high school and realized how much I monopolized everything they did.
My parents are a different story.  My dad has serious anger problems.  He was verbally abusive when I was growing up.  Mostly, he rules my mom.  She allows it.  However, I seem to have the most problems getting along with her.

 Who or what in your life is making you feel crazy and causing you stress?
Whom do you feel victimized by?
I am going to give you the honest truth.  I suffer from very severe migraines.  Sometimes I feel victimized by that situation.  I have felt victimized by the lies my AH has fed me thru the 29 years we have been married.  I have also felt victimized by my dad and how he treated my brother and I when we were kids and how he treated my mom.  He still treats her this way and she still takes it.
3. What would you have to face in your own life if you stopped trying to control someone or something?
I would have to live with myself and my crazy mind!!!

4. What are some areas in your life that may reflect un manageability?
 What is your current condition in these areas: emotions, finances, spirituality, physical health, career?
My emotions are crazy.  Finances are good.  Spirituality good.  Phys. health ok 
Career ok
What are you doing for fun, pleasure, and enjoyment?
I try to do yoga and meditate.  Go for walks

5. What is the current state of your relationships with these people: family, friends, co-workers.?
Do you have any relationships, or are you feeling alone and isolated?
I have good relationships




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Posts: 2

Sorry!  Meant for this to go into the Step 1 board!! Don't know how to get it there!!



Status: Offline
Posts: 796

HI Pushmepullme Great log on name, I am pleased that you are here and found the courage to share with such clarity and honesty. You are on your way!!! The first Step is the hardest and you have compleed it. Good work . Please do keep coming back.

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