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Post Info TOPIC: Alanon Step 3 (10-18-2017)


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Posts: 873
Alanon Step 3 (10-18-2017)

Step Three; "made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him"

C2C reading page 252. What obstacles block me from turning my will and my life over to the care of God? . The quote from Aurelius Augustinius states:" understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand  so you may believe  but believe that you  may understand"

My share

When I first began working the Steps I do believe that I have many obstacles that prevented me from turning my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power. The main obstacle appeared to be that I was fearful that if I turned my will over I would not get what I wanted,. in addition to  being very angry with God for not giving me what I wanted in life. 

I finally decided that since  I had been unsuccessful in getting what I wanted by trying to force my will. I would continue to attempt to follow the Al-Anon Program and develop  my spiritual nature.  .
With that decision. I implemented  daily spiritual rituals that kept me close to Al-Anon the principles.  As I walked through the day., I embraced many tools .  I started my day with the serenity prayer, read the daily  readings from our literature , recited the  slogans over and over in my head as I walked to work and attended a meeting a day as well as calling my sponsor
I thought that by so doing I had turned my will and life over to the care of a power greater than myself.(Alanon) The  Step also suggests that we define our higher power, so I decided that my Higher Power would be the alanon program because I found  perfect love, compassion, wisdom, understanding, strength and courage in the principles . I could definitely turn my will over to that Power..
Step Three Questions
How do I feel about turning my will and my life over to a higher power for guidance?

if I'm unable to make the decision. What holds me back?

Do I trust my higher power to care for me?

How can I stop myself from taking my will back?
What can I do when my loved ones make the decision. I don't like?

What can I do to try to see others as God sees them?

How can I express God's will in  my actions and words towards others, including the alcoholics?



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Hi and thanks for the share. I have finally been able to work out how to log in here and am grateful as I am in a remote place. I'm assuming from the post dates that this is our current step for the fortnight.

My share:

I have found that through my recovery I have had moments of clarity where I could see that handing over concerns to my HP had turned out with the solution that was meant to be.
It was really testing for me most of the time because most of my "problems" were things that I had made peace with, I'm talking about day to day drama, being triggered by people and situations etc. These situations had become easily manageable through my spiritual Serenity and had learned to give issues a bit if time and space and they usually sort themselves out...or to allows intense feelings to pass. Yes this was all manageable with the help of the slogans in particular.

My problem was with the deep soul yearnings I had. Coming from a very dysfunctional family where much alcohism/gambling/addiction is present coupled with another family disease of narcissism (the disability of not being able to feel genuine empathy), I was forced into the role of being the family scapegoat. My family of origin were so uncomfortable with any hint of my recovery and being able to see through the diseases, that they simply eradicated me from my own family life. They don't speak of me, it's like I am dead to them.
A long and sad story ...but to cut it short, I was left with a crippling desire to be accepted as part of a new family or even a set of *real friends.
It has also manifested in a more positive natural way, wanting to create my own healthy family.
The waiting and constant handing over was exhausting simply because being included, belonging and being loved/having a family role to play is an integral part of being a happy healthy whole person. A challenging waiting period that's for sure. When I was able to really take healing time, relax more and get "un-busied" I was able to live in the moment more of the time. Part of me let go of having a family and actual real friends and I became comfortable with being a loner. I started to see every magical synchronicity in my life as a growing enchantment and I feel that this was one one the most solid Spiritual awakenings I have ever had. I knew though deep in my soul that my desire to be in a family/have my own family was still there and still important but I started living better in my current reality, and stopped placing all the important on "the alter of the future" which my Sponsor calls that type of thinking.
I now have a family in the form of being a very proud and sensitive/aware parent and I can only say that it is a dream come true. It now is happening for me and I couldn't be more grateful. My HP had her own timing and I can recognise that if I had not done the neccesary Spiritual work or waited for the correct timing, I would not have my angels- exactly as they are.
For reasons beyond my understanding I had to be outcast from my own sick family as being a loyal person I would never have fully left them ... I'm just not like that. Once I was away from them and in a healthy environment with very limited contact with
Toxic self centered type new soul family came to me.
Blessed, and eternally grateful.

In love and Serenity


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Posts: 873

Welcome Grace Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important Step. I to can identify and am pleased that alnon recognizes the difficulties that some members face and have termed the meetings "Alanon Family Groups " We are not alone and can easily identify with other members Please do keep coming back.

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