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Post Info TOPIC: Alanon Step 6 (5-24-2018)


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Alanon Step 6 (5-24-2018)


Step six:"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character

C2C reading page 390. An important part of the sixth step is practicing gratitude. The more I give thanks for my life as it is, the more I can accept the healing that allows me to change and grow
 
s
My share .
It's interesting to note that this step simply asks us to become ready to have our defects removed. I know when I first looked at the list of my defects, I felt that they were old friends that protected me from the pain in the world. I was not sure how to become ready to release them . My sponsor suggested that I simply continue going to meetings, living one day at a time using the slogans to stop reacting, gossiping and criticizing others. That was a huge step in my becoming entirely ready. The most interesting thing that developed was that I finally did see my defects in action and realized, for the first time how destructive they were not only for myself but to others .These defects were not my friends.nor did they protect me, it was then that I realized I had become entirely ready. Living one day at a time focused on myself and filling my  attitudes  with  daily gratitude list was all it took .aww

Step six questions
 
What character defects  have I had to overcome to ask a sponsor for help?
 
What slogan could remind me to find a substitute for negative behavior?

Am I able to see challenges as opportunities to practice new character traits?
 
Can I make a commitment to share in Al-Anon meeting the power of this step? .

Do I clearly  understand the concept of readiness?

What fears block me from being entirely ready?
 
Which defects of character also contain assets?
 
What can I do to practice a positive trait?

What positive traits did I want to develop?
 
Can I substitute that for a defect that I want to have removed?
 
 
 

 

 


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Betty


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Posts: 7
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Step six:"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character"

C2C reading page 390. An important part of the sixth step is practicing gratitude. The more I give thanks for my life as it is, the more I can accept the healing that allows me to change and grow


My share:
I've been working the steps through this board each month.  As we move through the steps, it's more challenging to work beyond the step I'm currently working with my sponsor (step three), because I haven't done the complete searching and fearless moral inventory in step four.  However, I want to continue as best I can. I feel ready to have God remove most of my defects of character.  So many of my defects of character are old survival skills that served me well in the past but now are harmful to both me and others.  I think there are some defects I'm holding onto that I may be afraid to let go.  I'm hopeful that as I work the steps with my sponsor I will see the harm in those defects and become entirely ready. I send my sponsor a gratitude list daily and find being grateful helps.

Step six questions:

What character defects have I had to overcome to ask a sponsor for help?  The ones I'm most aware of at this point are being controlling, being a martyr, overly concerned about how others view me, impatient, judgmental, and engaging in self pity

What slogan could remind me to find a substitute for negative behavior?  I love this suggestion!  Let Go and Let God seems to help me the most in many situations.  I've also practiced Live and Let Live and have found it helps me a great deal.  Two of the lesser discussed slogans that I find personally helpful to substitute for my negative behavior are Think and Listen & Learn because right now as I'm learning the Al-Anon principles, I need to listen and learn from my Al-Anon friends and think before responding to avoid reacting in all situations.

Am I able to see challenges as opportunities to practice new character traits?  Yes, my mother recently had a massive stroke and is paralyzed on her right side and cannot speak.  When she first had her stroke, it was uncertain whether she would survive.  I used my Al-Anon tools a great deal during that crisis.  I let go and let God during that critical time.  It was all I could do and I knew it, although in the past I would have obsessed and tried to control things.  I was also able to respond rather than react to my siblings, realizing that we were all on the same side.  Rather than engaging in conflict, we were unified for the most part. I found it amazing that gratitude was plentiful throughout this time.  I was so grateful to have my siblings so I wasn't alone through this terrifying time.  I was grateful I was off work so I could (and still can) be there to take care of my mom.  I'm grateful to God for carrying us through this and watching over my mom.

Can I make a commitment to share in an Al-Anon meeting the power of this step? Yes, once I have worked it more fully and thoroughly.

Do I clearly understand the concept of readiness?  Yes

What fears block me from being entirely ready?  Hmmm...maybe I'm afraid of losing who I am, although I would be letting go of the worst parts of me.  I think about gossip and work and how I can stay out of it but keep my friendships.  I think that's a fear.  Interestingly, the character trait I hate most is my need for control so I really want to let go of it, but I think there's a little part of me that still wants to believe I have control.  I remind myself I am powerless.  

Which defects of character also contain assets?   I think being controlling shows a confidence in myself that I don't always feel, so that is a positive.  Part of being a martyr is actually a deep caring for my family...but the martyr part is ugly and not a trait I want to carry on.  

What can I do to practice a positive trait?  Use the slogans to remember to Let Go and Let God and to Think, which reminds me not to react.  If I take some time to think, I can respond using a positive trait, rather than my instinct to use a negative trait.  

What positive traits did I want to develop?  Patience, letting go of control, and being non-judgmental

Can I substitute that for a defect that I want to have removed? Yes!



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Posts: 968
Date:

Thank you Growing your honesty and clarity in answering thesequestions to this Step helped me to see more clearly,

__________________
Betty
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