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Post Info TOPIC: Alanon Step 7 ( 6-27-18)


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Alanon Step 7 ( 6-27-18)


Step Seven; "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings"

C2C reading page 142. True humility should never be humiliating. Instead I can feel honored to take my rightful place in this partnership that I am developing with the God of my understanding. "Humility, will help us see ourselves in true perspective and keep our minds open to the truth."
 
My share; "when I first looked at this step. It seemed quite simple.   I needed to get humble enough to ask for help.
Amazingly enough This Steep with the simple wording, uncovered two of my major  defects --I could not admit that I needed help and I could not ask for it.no
 
I think that these defects  trace back to childhood where asking for something  was used to manipulate me and I never received what i asked for.
.
I did know that I could not change myself, as I tried to many times, and then simply reverted back to old behavior.as soon as I felt challenged. My only possible chance  at  recovery depended on my becoming humble enough to learn to ask for help for help.My sponsor reminded me that I had asked her for help and I had been destroyed, so that leaning on that experience., I could begin to work this step.
 
I know I had become entirely ready in step six. As I witnessed the destructive nature of my defects so I prayed to the God of my understanding and asked for help. I am so grateful. I did.
 
Step seven questions
 
How am I humble?

What defects am I ready to have removed?

What old behaviors get in the way of my being humble?

What can I do this week to practice a positive trait?
 
if I ask  to have  any fears removed from my life which ones? Am I able to see challenges as opportunities to practice new character traits? as I turned my defects over to God.?

 

 


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Betty


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Firstly, I am reworking step 4 and it taking me forever. Last time was a very long time ago. I even have help in that we are doing an ongoing 4th step workshop once a month and it is going really well. I'll add that my fellow member are all extremely wonderful and everyone gets along which is pretty remarkable. The 4th step work shows me how many ways I am not ready to fully do this step but there are some issues I can turn over.

Humility, to me, is the opposite of humiliation because I choose to not let my self-will/ego/ perfectionist/ know-it-all be in charge. Rather I have the luxury of not knowing. I used to believe I had to know because no one else seemed to but I can see otherwise much of the time. I forget but even that is a reminder of progress, not perfection. I can be a huMAN instead of whatever I used to think I had to be. I find the concept of humility comforting.

Which defects? How long do we got? LOL

what prevents me from humility all the time?
Relapses into old behaviour like believing I am in charge, I know best, other people are idiots or some other judgment which really says God did a bad job making you so I have to pick up the slack. What does that make me? God's mother? lol

Anytime I lose my sense of humour I need to ask why. anytime I feel
humiliated ashamed or fear your rejection I am not humble. I believe I am dependent on you rather than God.

I'm running out of time and so i 'll think about question 3 on my way to an errand

Love to all
Nora G




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love ya Nora


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Hello Nora Thanks for your informed responses to his Step. I am looking forward to your return and the completion of the questions.

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Betty


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I have been struggling for the last couple of months with something in my life.  I went to a meeting on Saturday and it was a Step 7 meeting, and I realized I am struggling with Step 7.  I would like my higher power to remove the shortcomings that cause me pain and embarrassment.  But step 7 does not tell us to tell him to remove the shortcomings that we choose, but by humbly asking him, we allow him to remove the shortcomings he wants out of our lives.

This is where I am struggling with self will.  I enjoy my shortcoming that I am protecting, it makes me feel good, even though it may be hurting the ones I love and keeping me from being an honest and open person.  I know I am powerless over it, but I also have to admit that I don't want it removed because I like being that kind of person.  

So I must face if I will or will not do a step 7.

Greg H

 



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Greg Hogan


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Hello Greg I too loved many of my defects because I believed that they protected me from the world . I kept attending meetings ,listening with an open mind, using the literature, finding the inspiration of a sponsor and the slogans and one day i finally did see that these defects were not my friends and were actually hurting me. It was then that I became entirely ready to have them gone. Keep coming back

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Betty
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