Step Eight - Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
From: Paths to Recovery pg. 81 (copyright 1997, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquartrs, Inc.)
Some of us start our list with anyone about whom we still feel discomfort. With the help of our sponsor, another program friend or by writing, we examine the list carefully. Some names are obvious; we know we have done something we feel badly or guilty about. Others require us to search carefully for the reasons we feel discomfort. Still others seem to be people who have harmed us, but we have not actually harmed. If we still resent them, our own peace of mind is best served by forgiving them. Some of us find that our lists are endless. This may be a clue that being overly responsibile is an issue and we are harming only ourselves. As members we are often encouraged to put ourselves on the list first. Knowing that others before us have experienced this self-awareness provides us wth a sense of gratitude for the fellowship and for our fellow members who still love us in a special way even though we may not love ourselves at this moment.
Love in Recovery - Dot
-- Edited by dot at 18:59, 2007-02-04
dot said
Feb 8, 2007
Putting myself on my list was strongly suggested by my sponsor. During years of following the a thru many geografical changes and years of accepting unacceptable behavior, I had hurt myself morally, physically and emotionally. I needed to understand and accept how much I had been hurt in many ways before continuing my list.
I'm grateful to her for this suggestion. As I looked at my own feelings I was better able to understand how deeply I had hurt friends and family near and dear to me and put each one on my list. When I got to the next Step this understanding helped me determine how I needed to make amends to each one.
Love in Recovery - Dot
Vicky R said
Feb 11, 2007
From: Courage to Change pg. 299 (copyright 1992 , by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquartrs, Inc.)
" Alanon has no opinion on outside issues . It doesn't define my responsibilities or select my values - that is up to me. It does encourage me to define my values , to take responsibility for choices I am already making and to make amends where I have done harm. I need not think of myself as a victim of unseen forces that make disasters happen. Today I can make active choices "
hi Dot thanks good point - the way we have hurt ourselves may relate to how we have hurt other people I hadn't thought of it like that. It is lucky to find sponsors to work with on the steps otherwise yes you can end up leaving yourself out of the list !
From: Paths to Recovery pg. 81 (copyright 1997, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquartrs, Inc.)
Some of us start our list with anyone about whom we still feel discomfort. With the help of our sponsor, another program friend or by writing, we examine the list carefully. Some names are obvious; we know we have done something we feel badly or guilty about. Others require us to search carefully for the reasons we feel discomfort. Still others seem to be people who have harmed us, but we have not actually harmed. If we still resent them, our own peace of mind is best served by forgiving them. Some of us find that our lists are endless. This may be a clue that being overly responsibile is an issue and we are harming only ourselves. As members we are often encouraged to put ourselves on the list first. Knowing that others before us have experienced this self-awareness provides us wth a sense of gratitude for the fellowship and for our fellow members who still love us in a special way even though we may not love ourselves at this moment.
Love in Recovery - Dot
-- Edited by dot at 18:59, 2007-02-04
I'm grateful to her for this suggestion. As I looked at my own feelings I was better able to understand how deeply I had hurt friends and family near and dear to me and put each one on my list. When I got to the next Step this understanding helped me determine how I needed to make amends to each one.
Love in Recovery - Dot
" Alanon has no opinion on outside issues . It doesn't define my responsibilities or select my values - that is up to me. It does encourage me to define my values , to take responsibility for choices I am already making and to make amends where I have done harm. I need not think of myself as a victim of unseen forces that make disasters happen. Today I can make active choices "
hi Dot thanks good point - the way we have hurt ourselves may relate to how we have hurt other people I hadn't thought of it like that. It is lucky to find sponsors to work with on the steps otherwise yes you can end up leaving yourself out of the list !
loll Vickyr x