I've utilized several means of doing a fouth step. To get started 14 years ago when I came in I used the Blue prints for progress (Copyright 1976, bought in 1992). It gave me a good way to have a step-by-step process to guide me. Later I wrote my personal story. This helped me to better see how to answer the Character traits portion of the Blue PRints. I had a tendency to be to hard on myself and not see my "good" qualities and focus more on the negative parts of myself. I have bought a newer version of the Blue Prints of Progress and plan to use it on this new adventure of doing a fourth step. Which I guess for me is a 10th step, "continued to take a personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it".
My sponsor said that I worked my program harder than anyone she had seen and that I was possibly trying to be to perfectionistic with my 4th step, that's what had kept me stuck. I felt like I had not progressed past the 4th step, when she felt like I had done the steps, due to my sincere working of steps 5 through 10, I was just stuck on feeling that I hadn't done the 4th step "perfectly". It's progress not perfection. So just for today I will look back on what I did in 1992 and see my progress, not judge myself to harshly for not being "exactly" where I want to be today.
thanks, java
Tahir said
Jul 28, 2007
Thank you Java for that great share. Could relate a lot with what you shared.
Tahir said
Jul 28, 2007
Hi Java, what is "Blue Prints For Progress" about? Is it a 12-step literature from one of the fellowships? Sounds interesting, would definitely like to check it out
Vicky R said
Jul 31, 2007
hi java this is really great to hear , the Blueprint is a fantastic tool for getting off the see-saw and going over in the long term where we go wrong , otherwise it's so easy to get complacent about it . Sharing the principles with sponsors and other members in anonymity can help too , but it sounds like you're really exprienced in that ,
llol Vickyr x
mon123 said
Sep 19, 2007
Hi I went through all the steps on my own. One step per month looking through all the literature and writing points that appealed to me in a diary. It really worked to get me started. I really felt that serenity everyone talks about. I've now got a sponser and have found that I had skipped out all the stuff I found difficult to deal with. I hadn't even realised. I'm now going through the blueprint for progress with her. It's really tough. I'm not sure if I'm trying to be a perfectionist or whether I'm still trying to skip over stuff I don't want to face to. I know it's the right thing to be doing. Denial doesn't help anyone. I'm having to work hard at my serenity at the moment. This stuff can get you down while your going through it. Is anyone else finding this. I think it would help to know others find it hard. Mon
Blessed said
Sep 23, 2007
Hi Everyone,
The first time I did the Twelve Steps was February 19, 1994. I worked with my Sponsor at my 3rd month of Sobriety after almost crawling into A.A. for guidance
I have done another 4th Step around people with my late Sponsor last year before her death.
My first Sponsor went through the BIG BOOK. She instructed me to do assignments as we went through the book. I was to read so many pages in both books, coordinating each. Going through 2 books, the 12 x 12 and the Big Book. I wanted my Sobriety more than life so I worked the program hard.
That meant that I was going to start to feel joy and pain that I had shoved down for so long it was vertually gone.
I cried for a very long time, took many baths, and cried more. THe 4th Step was very long for me and I had listed so many people I had hurt or been affected by 364 I beleive. No I am not LYING! Pulling wool, it's true.
I was a runaway as a child at 13 and was out until I was 38 years old. I saw allot of life in those 28 years.
You aren't ever supposed to do THE 12- STEPS alone ever, it just isn't beneficial or helpful. You need to be doing them the right way with a SPonsor that can help you, guide you, be with you, listen to you.
During the entire time I was ging through the Steps I had "WITHDRAWALS" I was so sick for the first year and longer that I just shook at meetings. HOwever I stopped everything cigarettes, dope, and booze. The PROMISES come true, I AM RECOVERED. I can celebrate life again I am going on 14 years old. Finally I am older than my Belly Button Birthday. Praise the Lord!
My sponsor said that I worked my program harder than anyone she had seen and that I was possibly trying to be to perfectionistic with my 4th step, that's what had kept me stuck. I felt like I had not progressed past the 4th step, when she felt like I had done the steps, due to my sincere working of steps 5 through 10, I was just stuck on feeling that I hadn't done the 4th step "perfectly". It's progress not perfection. So just for today I will look back on what I did in 1992 and see my progress, not judge myself to harshly for not being "exactly" where I want to be today.
thanks,
java
hi java this is really great to hear , the Blueprint is a fantastic tool for getting off the see-saw and going over in the long term where we go wrong , otherwise it's so easy to get complacent about it . Sharing the principles with sponsors and other members in anonymity can help too , but it sounds like you're really exprienced in that ,
llol Vickyr x
Hi I went through all the steps on my own. One step per month looking through all the literature and writing points that appealed to me in a diary. It really worked to get me started. I really felt that serenity everyone talks about. I've now got a sponser and have found that I had skipped out all the stuff I found difficult to deal with. I hadn't even realised. I'm now going through the blueprint for progress with her. It's really tough. I'm not sure if I'm trying to be a perfectionist or whether I'm still trying to skip over stuff I don't want to face to. I know it's the right thing to be doing. Denial doesn't help anyone. I'm having to work hard at my serenity at the moment. This stuff can get you down while your going through it. Is anyone else finding this. I think it would help to know others find it hard.
Mon
The first time I did the Twelve Steps was February 19, 1994. I worked with my Sponsor at my 3rd month of Sobriety after almost crawling into A.A. for guidance
I have done another 4th Step around people with my late Sponsor last year before her death.
My first Sponsor went through the BIG BOOK.
She instructed me to do assignments as we went through the book. I was to read so many pages in both books, coordinating each. Going through 2 books, the 12 x 12 and the Big Book. I wanted my Sobriety more than life so I worked the program hard.
That meant that I was going to start to feel joy and pain that I had shoved down for so long it was vertually gone.
I cried for a very long time, took many baths, and cried more. THe 4th Step was very long for me and I had listed so many people I had hurt or been affected by 364 I beleive. No I am not LYING! Pulling wool, it's true.
I was a runaway as a child at 13 and was out until I was 38 years old. I saw allot of life in those 28 years.
You aren't ever supposed to do THE 12- STEPS alone ever, it just isn't beneficial or helpful. You need to be doing them the right way with a SPonsor that can help you, guide you, be with you, listen to you.
During the entire time I was ging through the Steps I had "WITHDRAWALS" I was so sick for the first year and longer that I just shook at meetings. HOwever I stopped everything cigarettes, dope, and booze. The PROMISES come true, I AM RECOVERED. I can celebrate life again I am going on 14 years old. Finally I am older than my Belly Button Birthday. Praise the Lord!
I still am a Work in progress.
If you think you have a PROBLEM, CAll A.A.
Thanks
BLESSED
Thanks,
Blessed
-- Edited by Blessed at 04:41, 2007-09-23