When I came to the rooms of al-anon I wanted them to tell me how to help the a stay sober - he had gone to AA.
What a shock when they told me his sobriety was not my business - that my business was taking care of me. I didn't want to hear this - I had spent 30 years trying to make the a happy and felt there must be something more I couod do.
Then someone finally asked me - if nothing had worked in 30 years, what made me think something would work now? And a light went on in my brain.
I started taking care of me - one day at a time. I stopped protecting the a and if he chose to drink - let the consequences happen. I we had plans and he was in no shape to go, I went anyway and had a good time. I used the slogans and got a sponsor who listened to me and guided me.
I became willing to accept that I was powerless over the alcoholic and my life got better.
Our al-anon literature says this step is bedrock beneath our feet and it is. With the acceptance that I was powerless over the a and any other person place or thing in my life, other than myself, my life started to become manageable.
Becoming willing was the first step toward acceptance for me.
Love in Recovery - Dot
tralatigid said
Dec 20, 2004
I am an alcoholic,
I knew I was an alcoholic for years. At first, it was a struggle to go a work week without drinking. Sometimes I would make it through the week but pretty much made up for it that weekend. The times during the week when I would give in, I would wake up hung over and smelling like alcohol and go into work that way. The first couple of times this happened, I told people it was my friends birthday the night before and we had overdid it. People stopped asking how I was feeling after a while.
When I was impossible for me to go a whole work week without drinking, I told myself I would only drink every other day. But that didn't last long. Before long, I was drinking every night; 6 to 12 beers and/or a bottle of wine.
I new I had a problem with alcohol and I tried every trick I knew to stop but the drive to drink was too powerful. I can remember driving home from work one day and asking the God of my understanding what it would take for me to stop drinking. Two days after that, I was arrested for drinking and driving. I accepted this as my answer. I continued to drink and smoke pot for almost two months before I was actually ready to say enough is enough.
I was at an AA meeting when a guest speaker spoke and I finally understood what the first step meant in its entirety. "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." I knew I was an alcoholic, but never really thought about my life becoming unmanageable. This speaker was saying how he didn't think his life was unmanageable because of his drinking. He had lost his house, lost his wife and kids, lost his job, had the courts tell him when he needs to go to meetings and see his probation officer. And it wasn't until a couple of months of sobriety that he saw how much alcohol was managing his life.
This made me take a step back and look at my life. Alcohol dictated when I got up in the morning, when I would leave work, If I was going to date this girl or not (if she didn't drink or smoke, forget it), when I saw my family and how long I would stay at a family function. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Alcohol was managing my life. And it wasn't until I realized this that I was able to take an honest look at myself and decide if I wanted to change this part of my life.
I am coming up on one year of sobriety Dec 21, 2004 and I am amazed that I am writing this. I actually couldn't imagine this one year ago and here I am today. This past year hasn't been easy, but only because life itself isn't easy. I am fortunate that I haven't had any desire to pick up within this year and I credit that to my sponsor, going to meetings on a regular basis and developing a friendship with the God of my understanding.
Thanks for letting me share.
-- Edited by tralatigid at 07:08, 2004-12-20
amanda2u2 said
Dec 21, 2004
Happy Anniversary!
thanks so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us.. I hope you keep coming and sharing with us
I am an alcoholic,
I knew I was an alcoholic for years. At first, it was a struggle to go a work week without drinking. Sometimes I would make it through the week but pretty much made up for it that weekend. The times during the week when I would give in, I would wake up hung over and smelling like alcohol and go into work that way. The first couple of times this happened, I told people it was my friends birthday the night before and we had overdid it. People stopped asking how I was feeling after a while.
When I was impossible for me to go a whole work week without drinking, I told myself I would only drink every other day. But that didn't last long. Before long, I was drinking every night; 6 to 12 beers and/or a bottle of wine.
I new I had a problem with alcohol and I tried every trick I knew to stop but the drive to drink was too powerful. I can remember driving home from work one day and asking the God of my understanding what it would take for me to stop drinking. Two days after that, I was arrested for drinking and driving. I accepted this as my answer. I continued to drink and smoke pot for almost two months before I was actually ready to say enough is enough.
I was at an AA meeting when a guest speaker spoke and I finally understood what the first step meant in its entirety. "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." I knew I was an alcoholic, but never really thought about my life becoming unmanageable. This speaker was saying how he didn't think his life was unmanageable because of his drinking. He had lost his house, lost his wife and kids, lost his job, had the courts tell him when he needs to go to meetings and see his probation officer. And it wasn't until a couple of months of sobriety that he saw how much alcohol was managing his life.
This made me take a step back and look at my life. Alcohol dictated when I got up in the morning, when I would leave work, If I was going to date this girl or not (if she didn't drink or smoke, forget it), when I saw my family and how long I would stay at a family function. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Alcohol was managing my life. And it wasn't until I realized this that I was able to take an honest look at myself and decide if I wanted to change this part of my life.
I am coming up on one year of sobriety Dec 21, 2004 and I am amazed that I am writing this. I actually couldn't imagine this one year ago and here I am today. This past year hasn't been easy, but only because life itself isn't easy. I am fortunate that I haven't had any desire to pick up within this year and I credit that to my sponsor, going to meetings on a regular basis and developing a friendship with the God of my understanding.
Thanks for letting me share.
-- Edited by tralatigid at 07:08, 2004-12-20
Happy Anniversary!
thanks so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us.. I hope you keep coming and sharing with us
love in recovery,
amanda