ML here......powerless over my emotions......there are some 'suggestive' lists of defects and assets I have found in EA literature......which names them for me and I find helpful.
It's also easy for me to take each one and see how it applies to my life. Some fit, some don't. Here are a few 'names' of defects, but only a few, there's lots of approved literature to help look at defects/assets. There is also a partial list of assets. Most of these are paraphrased from the Step by Step guide for EA.
To realize how my life worked I go back over my life in stages. It helped me see where some of my oldest 'resentments' and fears began. It also showed me where some of my assets came from too. There are great books out there that help Step 4 work as well as a sponsor - a coach as I like to think of my sponsor.
Most of my stuff was around 'fear'...fear was the main spring of all my troubles as well as self-centeredness, but these other emotions were helpful to look at details more closely.It is suggested when doing a step four that I look for examples in my life of these defects in action where these apply:
Fear of - loss of face, loss of prestige, standing, good name, threatening status or security
Procrastination "Putting off something to avoid unpleasant or undesirable consequences that I know is important"
Intolerance "Unwillingness or refusal to accept others' opinions, beliefs or behavior"
Phoniness "Deceiving, being insincere, not being genuine, including emotional phoniness"
Self-centeredness "Being overly concerned with my own welfare..with little or no concern for others...what I want is the most important thing"
Unwarranted Guilty feelings "I didn't meet others' standards of behavior...(or)what I thought was my Higher Power's standare of behavior"
Anger (excessive & uncontrollable) "Temper tantrums and rages"
Resentment "sulking, vindictive, reliving emotional hurts and pain"
Some others include:Covetousness, Denial, False Pride, Self-Pity, Impatience
Assets are also included along with examples through my lifetime in my step 4 work:
Loving, Accepting, Forgiving, Trusting, Cheerful, Prompt, Tolerant, Humble, Hopeful, Understanding, Humorous, Respectful, Realistic, Willing to admit my faults, Confident
When I have looked at my assets and defects (and I may find I need to do a few Step 4's over the years as I mature), this helps give me a realistic map of 'my world' up to now..and where I can turn these things out of myself to sift through, examine, share and then ask HP to help me heal. I don't have to tear my entire life apart in a Step 4, just be honest....."Easy Does It" works here too.........
ML here......powerless over my emotions......there are some 'suggestive' lists of defects and assets I have found in EA literature......which names them for me and I find helpful.
It's also easy for me to take each one and see how it applies to my life. Some fit, some don't. Here are a few 'names' of defects, but only a few, there's lots of approved literature to help look at defects/assets. There is also a partial list of assets. Most of these are paraphrased from the Step by Step guide for EA.
To realize how my life worked I go back over my life in stages. It helped me see where some of my oldest 'resentments' and fears began. It also showed me where some of my assets came from too. There are great books out there that help Step 4 work as well as a sponsor - a coach as I like to think of my sponsor.
Most of my stuff was around 'fear'...fear was the main spring of all my troubles as well as self-centeredness, but these other emotions were helpful to look at details more closely.It is suggested when doing a step four that I look for examples in my life of these defects in action where these apply:
Fear of - loss of face, loss of prestige, standing, good name, threatening status or security
Procrastination "Putting off something to avoid unpleasant or undesirable consequences that I know is important"
Intolerance "Unwillingness or refusal to accept others' opinions, beliefs or behavior"
Phoniness "Deceiving, being insincere, not being genuine, including emotional phoniness"
Self-centeredness "Being overly concerned with my own welfare..with little or no concern for others...what I want is the most important thing"
Unwarranted Guilty feelings "I didn't meet others' standards of behavior...(or)what I thought was my Higher Power's standare of behavior"
Anger (excessive & uncontrollable) "Temper tantrums and rages"
Resentment "sulking, vindictive, reliving emotional hurts and pain"
Some others include:Covetousness, Denial, False Pride, Self-Pity, Impatience
Assets are also included along with examples through my lifetime in my step 4 work:
Loving, Accepting, Forgiving, Trusting, Cheerful, Prompt, Tolerant, Humble, Hopeful, Understanding, Humorous, Respectful, Realistic, Willing to admit my faults, Confident
When I have looked at my assets and defects (and I may find I need to do a few Step 4's over the years as I mature), this helps give me a realistic map of 'my world' up to now..and where I can turn these things out of myself to sift through, examine, share and then ask HP to help me heal. I don't have to tear my entire life apart in a Step 4, just be honest....."Easy Does It" works here too.........