I am very new to AL-NON and decided to start attending because I am involved in a relationship with someone who does not think they have a drinking problem but has had several dwi's.
I have found that it is hard to say the right things to this person without them getting mad. I always word things wrong in their opinion.
I don't know if I should discuss that I am going to AL-NON with them or not since they do not think that this is a problem that they are having.
I do not know if I want to spend the rest of my life with this person and am looking for answers within myself and God for solutions.
angel66 said
Jul 2, 2008
Hi Future
When I was dating my AH about 17 yrs ago, he drank beer but I never really paid much attention to it. Yeah, he would come over sometimes later and be pretty drunk but he was single and out with the guys. A few years after we had been married , he was out w/ my brother and a buddy and got a DUI and my sister had to bail him out of jail and he couldnt drive for awhile and had community service.........didnt phase him one bit. So today, he is still drinking, probably more, probably killing his liver. He doesnt think he has a problem, thinks he can cut down on his own or stop if he wants. Yeah, whatever. He's in total denial and I'm the bad one if I bring the "dirty" subject up. Believe me, its not fun for me to be married to someone who comes home at 1 - 1 am w/ his eyes half shut, slurring his words and speech, smelling like beer and then passing out while he's in a sitting position. Not very appealing or attractive to me one bit. I know my story is negative and you have to decide for yourself. I loved my husband the day I married him and I still do love him but right now, I'm trying to decide if love is enough to hold my family together b/c of the fact that the drinking has started to become a big issue now that my daughter is 12 and is fully aware of it too. Good Luck and keep chatting with people here. You'll get great insight and lots of useful tips and guidance. The meetings are great too And you dont have to make any type of decision right away anyway. Just get some info, process it and go from there. Love is love and sometimes its meant to be whether there is a problem involved already or not. Take care, Jackie
Future said
Jul 2, 2008
Thank you for responding. I know it is hard to leave someone that you have children with. I have had two failed marriages and do not want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has so much turmoil going on all the time. I am at the age I want some peace in my life not constant drama. Being a single Mom is hard but I have done it two times...good luck in your decision.
baileyboop98@sbcglobal.net said
Oct 4, 2008
Amen to peace..Peace and serenity is something we all need.
I have found that it is hard to say the right things to this person without them getting mad. I always word things wrong in their opinion.
I don't know if I should discuss that I am going to AL-NON with them or not since they do not think that this is a problem that they are having.
I do not know if I want to spend the rest of my life with this person and am looking for answers within myself and God for solutions.
When I was dating my AH about 17 yrs ago, he drank beer but I never really paid much attention to it. Yeah, he would come over sometimes later and be pretty drunk but he was single and out with the guys. A few years after we had been married , he was out w/ my brother and a buddy and got a DUI and my sister had to bail him out of jail and he couldnt drive for awhile and had community service.........didnt phase him one bit. So today, he is still drinking, probably more, probably killing his liver. He doesnt think he has a problem, thinks he can cut down on his own or stop if he wants. Yeah, whatever. He's in total denial and I'm the bad one if I bring the "dirty" subject up. Believe me, its not fun for me to be married to someone who comes home at 1 - 1 am w/ his eyes half shut, slurring his words and speech, smelling like beer and then passing out while he's in a sitting position. Not very appealing or attractive to me one bit.
I know my story is negative and you have to decide for yourself. I loved my husband the day I married him and I still do love him but right now, I'm trying to decide if love is enough to hold my family together b/c of the fact that the drinking has started to become a big issue now that my daughter is 12 and is fully aware of it too.
Good Luck and keep chatting with people here. You'll get great insight and lots of useful tips and guidance. The meetings are great too
And you dont have to make any type of decision right away anyway. Just get some info, process it and go from there. Love is love and sometimes its meant to be whether there is a problem involved already or not.
Take care,
Jackie