I'm brand-new here, and am going to do the same thing I do if I show up to a meeting in a new town and nobody's there: turn on the lights and open How Al-Anon Works to Step 1. If someone shows up, they find a meeting.

Conveniently, it's Sunday, and if I understand correctly, there's a 2-week rhythm for each step.

This thread is an Al-Anon thread, which means "Al-Anon spoken here."  If new people have questions about how to do that, please ask.

Please read the Step Board Format before sharing.


I suggest we start with How Al-Anon Works. When I come back, I'll read a paragraph and then comment on it.


This post is the opinion of only one person: fallible me.

~ Molly B.

-- Edited by MollyB at 19:08, 2008-08-03

Hi Molly Its great to find a recent post starting at step one. Unfortunately, I cannot be here on Sunday for your next post but will definitely take a look on Monday. Sueannerey

Hi,

I'm also new in taking the steps. I mean I've done the first one and answering the 21 questions seemed like a very difficult thing to me. It brought back things that I thought are deeply burried. 

Did you find it difficult to do it?

Best,
Anca

Hi, I am also new to this and have tried to start step one, but I don't really understand what it means to "work the step". I have gotten some books about 12 step recovery and am reading past posts but what exactly am I supposed to be doing??????? Where are the 21 questions you are referring to? I have gotten some relief by admitting that I am powerless and feel this is a beginning but am missing something. Any advice from anyone would be much appreciated. I have attended a ftf meeting but need to find a group closer to where I live, so I am in that process now. thanks dd

I just attended my first meeting last Monday. We did Step 1. Over 30 people there so not much time to talk individually. It was quite chaotic. I did read over and over that I am powerless over the alcoholic. I have felt some anger welling up this week and I have less patience for him. Is this part of the process I wonder? Yes, I dont know where the 21 questions are either? Would someone kindly direct us? Thank YOU Sue

Hi,

When I've joined the Al-Anon group in my city I've received these steps together with a few questions for each of them which can help us go through them. In fact, I've found this chat room while surfing the internet trying to find all these steps together with their questions in English (I have them translated as I live in Bucharest, Romania). If you think it's useful for you, I'll either try to find these "helping" questions or just translate them into English. Because answering them it's far more important than just saying "ok, I admit it, I;m helpless".

So, I'll still try t find them in English, if not, I'll translate them for you if you think they might help you.

Best,
Anca

thank you Anca, that would be great! dd

Thank YOU dd for asking for the 21 questions. Anca, WE would be extremely Thankful if you would kindly share those questions with us. I agree we need to answer them. The longer the answer, the more insight we will gain into helping ourselves I think. I am looking forward to attending my ftf 2nd meeting tomorrow night. I will also be coming here as often as I can too. There is light at the end of the tunnel... Sue

Hi Anca

I am finding it very hard too.  I am filled with hope when I hear other people are feeling the same as me.

I bought the book "Al-Anon, 12 steps and 12 traditions.  There are some questions at the end of the chapter on Step 1.  Are these the same as the ones you have?  Would you be able to let me have yours?

Take care, keep on smiling!

Sue

Hi all! I have been in the program for 2+ yrs and am currently working step 4. For me Step 1 was scary, but also a big relief. I no longer had to orchestrate the lives of those around me, which meant I was also no longer responsible or others success or failures. My life was clearly unmanageable. Anybody with half a brain could see that, but admitting that I had no power to control those around me. That was hard. It was a long struggle with myself to retrain myself to let others do for themselves. I think that's part of why they call it "working" Step 1, because it's easy to admit, but far harder to actually put that into practice and not continue to TRY to control the uncontrollable. My sponsor sent me a step study that is a good place to start. It is not CAL, but references CAL. If anybody would like to take a look at it, I would send it to them. Send me a PM. It has suggested reading and journaling and a dialogue about acceptance and resistance. In recovery,

Hi all,

The questions I have for Step 1 start with: Do I accept the fact that I cannot control somebody else's drinking? Or his/her behaviour?

Sue, do your questions start the same? I don't think there can be different versions of these steps.

I've also started Step 2, but i've only done half of the sentences. It's not easy at all.

Best,
Anca

Hi everyone thanks for that. I don't have How Al-Anon Works with me right now. So if that's OK I'll pick something from Courage to Change. It's Conference Approved.

quote :

From: Courage to Change - pg 32 - (copyright 1992, by Al-Anon Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.)

" When I change my behavior the behavior of those around me may also change, but there is no guarantee that is will change to my liking. Today I am learning to make choices because they are good for me, not because of the effect they might have on others"


well that's the first step that I learned anyway, the way this disease causes us to be martyrs and obsess about other peoples' problems in an unhealthy way. Which leads to the loss of pleasure in our own lives. Later on we start to think about 'giving' to appropriate situations with the help of our sponsors/programme friends in order that we don't lose ourselves and newly found interests. All very difficult but the programme helps us to keep up the morale.

Look forward to reading you all again on Step 2!

llol Vickyr x







-- Edited by Vicky R at 22:20, 2008-08-28

Jen,

I would like the packet you are studying.  Please forward to my e-mail Barbay3@aol.com

Thank you

I would like the information as well...

While I accept the fact that I cannot control another's behavior(drinking in this case) the codie in me rears his ugly head often and I want to. Logically I know I cannot control. Emotionally, I want to. This is our own selfish innate desire to latch onto a security blanket where there is none. There are no guarantees of tomorrow. I feel like I have projected my security on another person. I place on another human being what I should be placing on my HP. So I guess, I will still be on Step 1 next week. Logically, I know. Emotionally, I'm not ready.