I am writing this post because my husband (who is an alcoholic) is also very Catholic.  I am also a religious person but not where I feel that I have to go to church every week.  I have God in my life everyday in my own way.  But anyway my H becomes very upset when I do not choose to go to church and also guilts and berates my daughter's (18 and 20) when they do not go.  This upsets them very much as they have grown up doing everything they can to please him (which at times is virtually impossible).  Like tonight they were both in tears - they had both long works days and both have to work tomorrow - so they did not go - and he was so angry at them.  And then I am in the middle.  I'm trying really hard not to be there - but it's hard to see my daughters upset. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that for many, many years I had went to church - it didn't seem to help my situation, and I don't want to feel forced to go.  I grew up with an alcoholic family and am dealing with that.  We live in a small town and my husband wants to put on airs and be the perfect family - and parade around in church.  And then he goes uptown and gets drunk - (that's where he is right now - and I'm at home with two upset children)  Yeah for me!!!!  Resentment, resentment, resentment - is just pouring out of me. 

I'm confused and really feel stuck. 

Hi slowlearner,

sorry to hear about that. Its kind of more difficult sometimes than the alcohol itself isn't it to see other people being so controlling. I don't know how the programme works but it can help us to eventually get 'detachment' from impossible situations like that, maybe by sharing them with others who are in similar situations. My sympathies though, theres nothing I can say to take away the pain of seeing the alcoholic or co-alcoholic hurt people that you love,

litf Vickyr x