From Paths to Recovery (copyright 1997, by Al-anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.) pg. 90-91. In making amends, we need to understand that we are not necessarily making an apology. There are differences between amends and apologies. In making an apology, we usually say, "I'm sorry," expecting a response of acceptance, pardon or forgiveness. In making amends, we may state our errors, our role in the incident and that we will correct our behavior in the future. We may or may not ask for forgiveness, and we may or may not receive a positive response. In many cases our changed behavior indicated stronger amends than words could ever be. If we have any expectations of the response to amends, we are setting ourselves up for disapointment. Love - Dot ((((((((((all))))))))))

For me, Step nine, is not always an apology, but a changed behavior.  Changing my "actions" or behaviors is more appropriate in certain situations.  The changed behavior is my amend.

-- Edited by wallsal55 at 19:28, 2005-04-09