Step One - Admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable. From: How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics pg. 46. (copyright 1997, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.) Taking the First Step is no small achievement. The battle against alcoholism has become the basis for many of our relationships. Putting an end to this battle requies completely redefining what we believe about ourselves, others and our relationships. For example, many of us have confused love with interference. We don't know how to show affection or support without giving advice, seeking to sway another's decisions, or trying to get those we love to do what we think will bring them happiness. We confuse caring with controll because we don't know to allow others the dignity of being themselves. Those of us who learned to contro;l whatever we could in order to survive in an alcoholic environment now continue to try to control everything and everybody without realizing what we are doing. From past experience, we are terrified to let others do as they wish. but we only harm ourselves and others when we insist upon approaching every interaction in this way. Our relationships are damaged, and our lives become even more unmanageab,e. Thus, even when there are no alcoholics directly involved, the effects of alcoholism continue to dominate. So we take the First Step. We admit we are powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable.

Thank you Dot, this is very helpful!