Step One - Admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
1. Do I accept that I can't control another person's drinking? Another person's behavior?
2. How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond?
3. How can I let go of others' problems instead of trying to fix them?
4. Do I say "yes" when I want to say "no"? What happens to my ability to manage my life when I do this?
Love and hugs - Dot
ImFree2004 said
Jun 7, 2005
1. Do I accept that I can't control another person's drinking? Another person's behavior?
Even though I would like to believe that I have the ability to control anothers persons drinking, I do understand that I cannot control it. It upsets me terribly when I see another persons behavior when under the influence. It is embarrassing to me and I am not even the one under the influence with the behavior problem. It is their body, their mind and their concequences in the end.
2. How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond?
Unfortunelty i do not respond very well. I admit this. I am a person that worries about the law, the concequences, the reprocutions. Therefor if i am trying to get an alcoholic to do what i want them to, it is usually to keep them out of harms way. When then refuse I usually get angry and then I try to fall back on my 3c's. and back away from the situation.
3. How can I let go of others' problems instead of trying to fix them?
Being a caregiver it is hard to walk away but it is like a child learning how to walk. you need to allow the child to fall down. If you constantly hold the childs hand he will not depend on his own legs. He will never learn.
4. Do I say "yes" when I want to say "no"? What happens to my ability to manage my life when I do this?
Honestly I still have problem with that. Standing up for yourself is difficult enough when you dont have a problem. When yes comes out instead of no, I find myself doing things resentful, with an angry heart. Allot of times using no requires tough love. If it was not hard it would not have been called tough love.
moonstorm said
Dec 29, 2005
Hello.
I've been dabbling with this board for about an hour now... and I'm wondering where the Step Questions come from? Are they your personal thought-provoking ideas or do they come from approved Al-Anon literature? I'm not criticizing in the least - just curious and thought it was a fine place to start participating.
Thanks!
angelinme908 said
Dec 30, 2005
Hi Moonstone,
I believe the questions come from Paths to Recovery which is Alanon approved literature.
Angelina
moonstorm said
Dec 30, 2005
Hey, Thanks!
Hope I didn't sound snotty - I've been looking and looking for information; I think I might be a better researcher than an actual worker, if you know what I mean.
1. Do I accept that I can't control another person's drinking? Another person's behavior?
Even though I would like to believe that I have the ability to control anothers persons drinking, I do understand that I cannot control it. It upsets me terribly when I see another persons behavior when under the influence. It is embarrassing to me and I am not even the one under the influence with the behavior problem. It is their body, their mind and their concequences in the end.
2. How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond?
Unfortunelty i do not respond very well. I admit this. I am a person that worries about the law, the concequences, the reprocutions. Therefor if i am trying to get an alcoholic to do what i want them to, it is usually to keep them out of harms way. When then refuse I usually get angry and then I try to fall back on my 3c's. and back away from the situation.
3. How can I let go of others' problems instead of trying to fix them?
Being a caregiver it is hard to walk away but it is like a child learning how to walk. you need to allow the child to fall down. If you constantly hold the childs hand he will not depend on his own legs. He will never learn.
4. Do I say "yes" when I want to say "no"? What happens to my ability to manage my life when I do this?
Honestly I still have problem with that. Standing up for yourself is difficult enough when you dont have a problem. When yes comes out instead of no, I find myself doing things resentful, with an angry heart. Allot of times using no requires tough love. If it was not hard it would not have been called tough love.
Hello.
I've been dabbling with this board for about an hour now... and I'm wondering where the Step Questions come from? Are they your personal thought-provoking ideas or do they come from approved Al-Anon literature? I'm not criticizing in the least - just curious and thought it was a fine place to start participating.
Thanks!
Hi Moonstone,
I believe the questions come from Paths to Recovery which is Alanon approved literature.
Angelina
Hey, Thanks!
Hope I didn't sound snotty - I've been looking and looking for information; I think I might be a better researcher than an actual worker, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I appreciate your help.