I donīt know why but I am holding on better than I have in years. I am determined to stay off the stuff. I don' t have a lot of meetings ...they are mainly full of young men and I am an older female and find it difficult to relate. I am glad they are there but just can't relate. I spend a lot of time on line and journaling and in forums for my support. I have some time uner my belt and I feel better physically than I have in years. Drinking and covering up were a full time job, though I look back and ask "Who was I trying to kid?" Everyone knew and knows I had - have a problem but they just donīt get to see me drunk anymore. Which is good.
debbievonne said
Apr 25, 2010
I'm so glad to hear that your holding on, I am as well. I struggle with male/female ratio & so many young women that aren't interested in recovery, they are all just passing thru. Dont get me wrong I'm glad to see any alcoholic/addict at meetings, but I feel your pain! We have 0 females my age with any recovery time under their belt. I recently joined a womens step working study. I am truly enjoying it and the women (we only have 4) range from mid/late 20's to mid 70's. Myself, I turn 50 this October and have been clean & sober 7 yrs. I live in a very rural area, but Ft smith Arkansas is only 30 miles so i have access to alot more recovery.
I have finally started utilizing that avenue - drug court keeps our meeting hall so full but once graduated, we rarely see them again. A few hang around for awhile, but so far the 7 yrs I've been there - none have truly found a new way to live. I had to, I finally realized I was beaten and so very exhausted!
Anyway I just wanted to let you know I'm holding on, too! My sponser passed away about 1year ago, so I'm still in a quandry? I'm thinking of asking the 70 something Al-Anon lady in the step study group? I'm holding on but I won't be able to much longer. I'll be absolutely crazy, without any mind altering substance. That may be scarier than the insanity from which I've most definetly been relieved of, and worked so hard to get. I nhave no intention of turning back now. Like you, I wish there were more women working the program - available in the area.
Keep holding on, remember, we can count on change--sooner or later. Oh yeah, thats in God's time - not mine, nevertheless, I will stand firm continueing my journey.
Myself, I turn 50 this October and have been clean & sober 7 yrs. I live in a very rural area, but Ft smith Arkansas is only 30 miles so i have access to alot more recovery.
I have finally started utilizing that avenue - drug court keeps our meeting hall so full but once graduated, we rarely see them again. A few hang around for awhile, but so far the 7 yrs I've been there - none have truly found a new way to live. I had to, I finally realized I was beaten and so very exhausted!
Anyway I just wanted to let you know I'm holding on, too! My sponser passed away about 1year ago, so I'm still in a quandry? I'm thinking of asking the 70 something Al-Anon lady in the step study group? I'm holding on but I won't be able to much longer. I'll be absolutely crazy, without any mind altering substance. That may be scarier than the insanity from which I've most definetly been relieved of, and worked so hard to get. I nhave no intention of turning back now. Like you, I wish there were more women working the program - available in the area.
Keep holding on, remember, we can count on change--sooner or later. Oh yeah, thats in God's time - not mine, nevertheless, I will stand firm continueing my journey.
Debbie V.