Over the past months i have been attending local alanon meetings in texas, i know i need to get a sponsor but it is hard and embarassing to talk to someone in person and discuss my past and current problems i know i need to work on step one but in some way i feel like if i let go and let my higher power take care of it, i may not get the solution i am looking for, therefore causing me to worry and be afraid that things will get out of control again,eventhough theres five months sobriety theres still the thought in the back of my mind that things will go back and i will be faced to clean up what was messed up again, some insight to this would help me alot thank you.
cheri said
Jul 6, 2005
Hi...welcome.
I just recently started attending alanon meetings, but have been in recovery for 4 yrs. I started alanon because some things were happening in my relationship that I was taking on as being responsible for, but I knew that I really wasn't able to control what was happening. I've learned over the past 4 years that control is an illusion...when I think I have it all together it's really God who's calling the shots. I am learning to NOT micro-manage my family and to let others make the mistakes they need to make to grow.
In regards to sponsorship, I will tell you that I have never been unable to talk to my sponsor. I have been able to tell her everything about my life and it has never gone any further. She was the first person I was able to trust. The relationship we have now is beyond any that I ever imagined with another. I hope you can find that. Love,cheri
Kathy570 said
Jul 14, 2005
Hi there,
I too am new to this sight. I am a recovering Alcoholic of almost 4 years but new to ACOA & Al Anon.
I get confussed as to what board I am on - ACOA or Al Anon. I have been doing alot of reading of others posts & find them very helpful. But I am still not sure how to start????
Can anyone guide me and like Timetoletgo was wondering about an online sponsor as I haven't found one yet at the Alanon meetings as there is no ACOA near me.
Yours in Recovery
Kathy
Noni said
Jul 14, 2005
Hi everyone....
I'm new here, so I don't know the answers to your questions - but I do know where you would be able to ask your questions to get answers to your questions to get answers...
The other message board...the Adult Children Anonymous Message Board is where you can post questions like this and get answers to these types of questions.
From what I do understand - this message board is where we go to work the 12 steps.
I hope this helps...
Yours in recovery.
Noni
dawg said
Aug 23, 2005
I've been involved in ALANON for several years. Yet, I keep coming back to this step. I can't seem to get it. An old timer once told me, whispered to me, the secret is, there is nothing to get.
I admitted I am powerless over other people, places, and things. I am powerless over other peoples perceptions of me. I recently had a one and half year romantic relationship end. I had been doing really well with my program, with my work, letting other people love me. Then I started to care, deeply care. I wanted it soooo bad. I became obsessed, again, with what somebody else thinks of me. All the old tapes played loud and long. I felt that gut wrenching anxiety and, not surprisingly, I anticipated negative outcomes. My fears set in motion a series of events that helped create the very thing I was trying to avoid. My neediness pushed her away.
Working a program is a practice. Guilt and fear are close relatives. I can make a choice of love. For me that is what step one is about. I choose to not judge others or myself. I choose to extend myself for the purpose of mine, or anothers, well being. I don't do it well always. I make alot of mistakes. But I wake up and try again. Opening up my heart is never a mistake. It hurts to see my behaviors repeated. It hurts to know better. I am powerless not only over others, but over my own thougths and feelings. The best I can do is be aware of my distorted thinking, accept it, and ask for help from my higher power. Accepting I have been affected by the disease of alcoholism is a start.
Fighting myself is not a choice I am willing to make. Softness, compassion for myself and others, staying in this moment only, is what step one is about for me. I'm working it and its working me.
Hi...welcome.
I just recently started attending alanon meetings, but have been in recovery for 4 yrs. I started alanon because some things were happening in my relationship that I was taking on as being responsible for, but I knew that I really wasn't able to control what was happening. I've learned over the past 4 years that control is an illusion...when I think I have it all together it's really God who's calling the shots. I am learning to NOT micro-manage my family and to let others make the mistakes they need to make to grow.
In regards to sponsorship, I will tell you that I have never been unable to talk to my sponsor. I have been able to tell her everything about my life and it has never gone any further. She was the first person I was able to trust. The relationship we have now is beyond any that I ever imagined with another. I hope you can find that.
Love,cheri
Hi there,
I too am new to this sight. I am a recovering Alcoholic of almost 4 years but new to ACOA & Al Anon.
I get confussed as to what board I am on - ACOA or Al Anon. I have been doing alot of reading of others posts & find them very helpful. But I am still not sure how to start????
Can anyone guide me and like Timetoletgo was wondering about an online sponsor as I haven't found one yet at the Alanon meetings as there is no ACOA near me.
Yours in Recovery
Kathy
Hi everyone....
I'm new here, so I don't know the answers to your questions - but I do know where you would be able to ask your questions to get answers to your questions to get answers...
The other message board...the Adult Children Anonymous Message Board is where you can post questions like this and get answers to these types of questions.
From what I do understand - this message board is where we go to work the 12 steps.
I hope this helps...
Yours in recovery.
Noni
I've been involved in ALANON for several years. Yet, I keep coming back to this step. I can't seem to get it. An old timer once told me, whispered to me, the secret is, there is nothing to get.
I admitted I am powerless over other people, places, and things. I am powerless over other peoples perceptions of me. I recently had a one and half year romantic relationship end. I had been doing really well with my program, with my work, letting other people love me. Then I started to care, deeply care. I wanted it soooo bad. I became obsessed, again, with what somebody else thinks of me. All the old tapes played loud and long. I felt that gut wrenching anxiety and, not surprisingly, I anticipated negative outcomes. My fears set in motion a series of events that helped create the very thing I was trying to avoid. My neediness pushed her away.
Working a program is a practice. Guilt and fear are close relatives. I can make a choice of love. For me that is what step one is about. I choose to not judge others or myself. I choose to extend myself for the purpose of mine, or anothers, well being. I don't do it well always. I make alot of mistakes. But I wake up and try again. Opening up my heart is never a mistake. It hurts to see my behaviors repeated. It hurts to know better. I am powerless not only over others, but over my own thougths and feelings. The best I can do is be aware of my distorted thinking, accept it, and ask for help from my higher power. Accepting I have been affected by the disease of alcoholism is a start.
Fighting myself is not a choice I am willing to make. Softness, compassion for myself and others, staying in this moment only, is what step one is about for me. I'm working it and its working me.