--Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs--
Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have been trying to get anew attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean we have admitted to God, to our selves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the fifth step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceeding chapter. pp72
Suggested reading--Alcoholics Anonymous pp 72-75
-- Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions pp55-62
All of AA's Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires...they all ask us to deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few steps are harder to take than five. But scarcely any step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one...
...So intense, though, is our fear and reluctance to do this, that many AA's at first try to bypass Step Five. We search for an easier way--which usually consists of the general and fairly painless admission that when drinking we were sometimes bad actors. Then, for good measure, we add dramatic descriptions of that part of our drinking behavior which our friends probably know about anyway. 12x12 pp 55
What are we likely to recieve from step five? For one thing, we shall get rid of that terribke sense of isolation we've always had. Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn't quite belong. Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were apt to be noisy good fellows craving atention and companionship, but never getting it-- at least to our way of thinking. 12x12 pp57
We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long and happy in this world. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. Big Book pp 74
When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk. We expalin to our partner what we are about to do and whay we have to do it. He should realize that we are engaged upon a life-and-death errand. Most people approached in this way will be glad to help; they will be honored by our confidence. Big Book pp 75
Wantneeda said
Jul 16, 2005
hi Cheri...seems I can't start my own topic...so if you don't mind i'll add this to your thread.
I take responsibility for my actions.
Original wording (AA): Admitted to our Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
No excuses
Step Five is not about saying: "I hurt these people, but that was because they had hurt me first".
Blaming somebody else - no matter how richly they deserve it - is a way of not fully feeling these feelings of hurt and anger, of toning them down. Because, when we blame others, we are putting our attention on what others are doing. In effect, we are saying: "If it weren't for what you did, it wouldn't have happened."
This step is bout admitting to ourselves what may be difficult for us to admit.
Admit it!
If we thing we're being coerced into "taking responsibility", the image that comes to mind is that of the stern interrogator - the bad cop who's badgering the suspect to confess ("Admit your wrongs!").
In that context, we tend to see things as a battle of wills against the tough cop. Our goal is then to avoid admitting anything incriminating.
This is different.
Taking responsibility for what we do is a way to realize that we are active agents in the world. In other words, we are not powerless, even where we are not yet aware of the ways in which our power manifests, or we don't like these ways.
As we get more of a sense of our power, we'll be able to redirect it to focus on getting more of what we really want out of life.
--Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs--
Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have been trying to get anew attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean we have admitted to God, to our selves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the fifth step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceeding chapter. pp72
Suggested reading--Alcoholics Anonymous pp 72-75
-- Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions pp55-62
All of AA's Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires...they all ask us to deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few steps are harder to take than five. But scarcely any step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one...
...So intense, though, is our fear and reluctance to do this, that many AA's at first try to bypass Step Five. We search for an easier way--which usually consists of the general and fairly painless admission that when drinking we were sometimes bad actors. Then, for good measure, we add dramatic descriptions of that part of our drinking behavior which our friends probably know about anyway. 12x12 pp 55
What are we likely to recieve from step five? For one thing, we shall get rid of that terribke sense of isolation we've always had. Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn't quite belong. Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were apt to be noisy good fellows craving atention and companionship, but never getting it-- at least to our way of thinking. 12x12 pp57
We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long and happy in this world. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step. Big Book pp 74
When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk. We expalin to our partner what we are about to do and whay we have to do it. He should realize that we are engaged upon a life-and-death errand. Most people approached in this way will be glad to help; they will be honored by our confidence. Big Book pp 75
hi Cheri...seems I can't start my own topic...so if you don't mind i'll add this to your thread.
I take responsibility for my actions.
Original wording (AA):
Admitted to our Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
No excuses
Step Five is not about saying: "I hurt these people, but that was because they had hurt me first".
Blaming somebody else - no matter how richly they deserve it - is a way of not fully feeling these feelings of hurt and anger, of toning them down. Because, when we blame others, we are putting our attention on what others are doing. In effect, we are saying: "If it weren't for what you did, it wouldn't have happened."
This step is bout admitting to ourselves what may be difficult for us to admit.
Admit it!If we thing we're being coerced into "taking responsibility", the image that comes to mind is that of the stern interrogator - the bad cop who's badgering the suspect to confess ("Admit your wrongs!").
In that context, we tend to see things as a battle of wills against the tough cop. Our goal is then to avoid admitting anything incriminating.
This is different.
Taking responsibility for what we do is a way to realize that we are active agents in the world. In other words, we are not powerless, even where we are not yet aware of the ways in which our power manifests, or we don't like these ways.
As we get more of a sense of our power, we'll be able to redirect it to focus on getting more of what we really want out of life.
FAQ: coaching in NYC or by phone self-help tools newsletter the 12 steps codependency the "serenity prayer"