I have gone to meetings and I am getting deep into the programme, but, I need a sponsor, who is a sponsor? where do I find one ? do they have to be into Al Anon also ?
Please help....

Hello Jake,

It is recommended that when going through the steps you work with a sponsor, so good job in following that advice!  Generally a sponsor is someone who has worked the steps before and has what  you want.  Not necessarily the money, success, or same lifestyle as you - but someone with good recovery.  Centered - knows serenity - acceptance - understanding.  Sponsors aren't sponsors until they are asked . . . there is no designation or class they complete.  Again - they SHOULD have completed the steps on their own at least once with a sponsor.

We are not experts - we simply share our experience, strength & hope of what it was like, what happened, and what is like now for us in recovery.  A good sponsor is invaluable.  Don't be upset if you choose to ask someone and they say no, it is not personal . . . they may not have time or not be ready.  Ask someone else.  Generally these folks are in your Al-Anon fellowship - you meet them at your meetings and simply walk up and say "Will your sponsor me?".

Just my take.  Welcome to Al-Anon, Jake.  Feel free to visit our Al-Anon board - we would love to have you in the family.  Click on the Miracles in Progress image above and you will come to the main MIP page that lets you access our Al-Anon forum.  Great bunch of folks!

Tricia

Thanks Tricia

Weird coincidence...
I just got back from my meeting and I had a long talk with some of the other members and they explained about sponsors, your words were exactly like theirs!!

Thanks again for writing, it s a comfort knowing I have friends on here..........

All the best,
Liz Jake

it took me about 3 months to find a sponsor. i went to several meetings and watched and listened to a few different women to learn more about their recovery. i started going to coffee with a large group after my Friday night home meeting and got to know a few women in that group even better. i finally got up the nerve to ask one of them to be my sponsor . . . but i couldn't do it face to face. i sent her an email . . . i know . . . kinda chicken but i'm still having trouble with trust and going out on a limb. the one thing i was told over and over . . . and by my sponsor . . . is that you aren't marrying your sponsor . . . so if you choose one and it doesn't work out . . . no problem. my sponsor has told me that if at any time i feel i'm not growing with her or that it doesn't feel right that her feelings will not be hurt if i choose to find a new sponsor. what a relief! my biggest fear was picking the wrong person to trust and then have it be wrong.

Thanks for all the wonderful information. I will be attending my 6th meeting this Thursday and I have in mind who I am going to ask to be my sponsor, hope it works out, but if not I will try again.  I also have a HUGE trust issue so this is a biggie for me.

Great job!  Let us know how it goes.

I asked one of the women at meeting to be my sponsor tonight, we have had a great understanding of eachother from day one.  So, on my 6th meeting tonight I asked her and she said YES, she actually said she would be honored....No one has ever told me that before, it was the most wonderful feeling.....

Thanks all,

Lizzy.

That is fantastic news!  I am so happy for you.

It is going to be hard work - but worth every second of it!  Please keep coming back and sharing with us!  Would love to hear your questions and insight on the steps as you go through them.


Tricia

I am very happy for you... I first came to alanon on July 19th this year and finaLLY FOund the courage to ask for a sponsor... I was surprised when i was told she felt honored too... congratulations

Thanks all......I am very excited. I have to add something here. I have BPD-Borderline Personality Disorder, so this is very hard for me. I am hoping that Al Anon will help me with this also, so far so good. Liz.