Step Nine - Made direct amends to such people whereever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. From: How Al-Anon Works - pg 59-60 (copyright 1997, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.) There are many ways to make direct amends, from simple, straightforward apologies to changed attitudes and altered behavior. Sometimes amends must be made in person: at other times, a letter, phone call, or monetary form of resitution is more suitable. It often helps to review the situation with an Al-Anon friend or sponsor in order to determine what would be most helpful to us and most appropriate to the circumstances. Prayer and self-honesty are also illuminating. Love in Recovery - Dot I'll be out of town for 10 days - will post the questions on Tues. the 11th.

I had lots of amends to make to family and friends but my sponsor suggested that amends to myself should come first. I needed to take care of myself - get my resr - eat right and start by forgiving myself before I could go to others. I'm sorry was a very poor amends to many I had hurt. I was able to go to people and take responsibility for my past actions and tell them that they could expect my actions to chanmge. My Mom and my brother were hurt the worst. I was able to care for both of them when they were no longer able to care for themselves and be with each of them when they died. That was a great gift. 20 years after my divorce from the a my Higher Power helped me realize I owed him amends. I was able to tell him how sorry I was for my part in the craziness in our life together. This was also a great gift for me and helped me finally forgive myself completely for the past. Love - Dot

-- Edited by dot at 17:00, 2005-10-02