Hi!  I am new here also.  I am not an alcoholic, but am a spouse of an alcoholic.  I have realized after almost 3 years of trying, becoming seriously ill over the stress and worry and most of all feeling helpless, that I cannot change my spouse.  Where do I turn, how do I learn to understand this disease and how do I save my marriage?  Where do I begin?  I really am hurting, scared for his health...his life...our future.  Can anyone help?

alanon was started for people like you, who have family or friends who are alcoholic and who want to both be in recovery themselves and learn how to really help their loved one. There are face to face meetings in your area, no doubt. You can look up alanon in your phone book, or call info line, or check with a health clinic to find groups in your area. We also have an alanon message board and chat board here on this site, and they have online meetings a couple of times a week. Go to the main page and check out the alanon section. Dot puts up the alanon Steps on this board, and I hope you'll keep coming to this board to learn them.

love in recovery,

amanda

Thank you for your support and help.  I will check out the site.  Love in Christ,  Terri

Hi Terzas and Welcome to the board. We in Al-Anon have been where you are and understand as few other can. We have been scared, angry, lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we found that no situation is hopeless and it is possible to find contentment and even happiness, whether the a is still drinking or not. Find the Al-Anon meetings in your area and go to as many as possible. I always suggest to a newcomer that they get the Big Book of AA and read, at least, the Dr's Opinion and the chapter To Wives. It will help you understand the disease of alcoholism a little. We also have on-line meetings each AM and PM at 9 et in our Al-Anon Chat room. Feel free to e-mail me anytime at Dot48730@webtv.net. Love and Hugs - Dot