Fourth Step of Alcoholics Anonymous

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

I have written 3 fourth steps the first was in treatment and I was not very aware of my defects at the time.  I looked at the guide given to me and tried to follow it.  I was to grandiose, one of the items listed, to ask what many of the terms meant.  But I wrote the best step I could at that time.  About 6 months into the program I wrote another fourth step.  This one had much more meaning to it as I was out of the fog and I did not let pride and fear stand in my way.  The third fourth step I wrote was several years into my sobriety and was for a cleanup.  All three of these fourth steps were necessary; all were done to the best of my ability at the time.  None were done improperly or wrong.  If you do the best you can at the time no more can be asked of you.   I do not believe that any step is done wrong or wasted if you can honestly say you have done the best you can.

The fourth step seems daunting to most of us.  To examine ourselves in such detail to write down our resentments and transgressions many of these our deepest secrets.   However the result from a through cleansing is a feeling you cannot understand until you have completed it.  This step is a keystone to our recovery program it releases us from the bondage of resentment.   As we begin this step we need to remember what the Big Book tells us.

 RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path  We thought we could find an easier, softer way.  But we could not.  With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start...  Half measures availed us nothing.  Big book pgs 58 and 59.

Do not let your pride or fear stand in the way of taking this step.  The 12 x 12 tells us.  Pride says, you need not pass this way, and fear says, You dare not look! But the testimony of A.A.'s who have really tried a moral inventory is that pride and fear of this sort turn out to be bogeymen, nothing else. Once we have a complete willingness to take inventory, and exert ourselves to do the job thoroughly, a wonderful light falls upon this foggy scene.  As we persist, a brand-new kind of confidence is born, and the sense of relief at finally facing ourselves is indescribable.  These are the first fruits of Step Four.  12 x 12 pg 49 

This is what the Big Book has to say about resentments.  Resentment is the 'number one' offender.  It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with who we were angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, (including sex) were hurt or threatened.  Big Book pg 64

Other defects can and will lead us down a slippery slope but resentment is the number one offender.  This is why the Big Book begins the 4th step guide looking at resentments in detail the how and why of them.  It is very important in writing your fourth step to follow the guide on page 65 of the Big Book.

Now lets ponder the need for a list of the more glaring personality defects all of us have in varying degrees .  To avoid falling into confusion over the names these defects should be called, lets take a universally recognized list of major human failings the Seven Deadly Sins of pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth. 12 x 12 pg 48

The AA program is based on spiritual principals and spiritual progress.  The seven deadly sins are transgressions that are fatal to spiritual progress.  Through our fourth step we examine how these defects have affected our lives and our spiritual growth.  Without removal of these blocks to our spiritual progress we are limited in how far this program can take us we may not get sober

The final step in our fourth step inventory is to look at some of our positive qualities. 

The sponsor probably points out that the newcomer has some assets which can be noted along with his liabilities. This tends to clear away morbidity and encourage balance. As soon as he begins to be more objective, the newcomer can fearlessly, rather than fearfully, look at his own defects. 12 x 12 pg 46. 

I have found it extremely helpful to follow this advice.  When I have completed a session of writing my resentments, defects, etc. I was always emotionally drained and as I looked at the list I had written it was depressing.  So I began to end each session by writing some of my assets.  Look again at the list of the Seven Deadly Sins and look for their antonyms, words with the opposite meaning, i.e. pride the anatomy is humility.  This besides lifting my spirits gave me areas to improve on as these defects were removed. 

Please share your experience, strength and hope from your fourth step.

Hi Dan, thanks for your work in this forum. We AAs don't compare to well to the other fellowships in terms of our participation in the steps board do we? And yet, for alcoholics of my type, our very lives depend on the steps. My experience with the 4th step is quite different to many modern approaches. My line of sponsorship was quite short, only two removed from the very old timers and the internet did not exist. So I ended up with an approach that seems quite close to the book and the methods some of the AA historians talk about.
To me the desire to take the 4th step was probably the first tangible evidence that I had taken step 3. When I first arrived in AA I was tremendously reluctant about steps 4 and 5 and I can remember having great difficulty grasping step 3. So while I was floundering around, my sponsor taught me how to pray and ask for guidance. Shortly after I took up prayer I suddenly found myself feeling the need to take step 4. I don't know where that came from, almost nothing could have been further from my will. But some how, perhaps through prayer, it became clear to me that if I did not take these steps I would not overcome drinking.
The old timers sometimes talked about taking a man, still sick in hospital, through the fourth step and even writing it for him if he was shaking too much. My 4th was a little like that in the sense that I was in such poor mental condition that I had great difficulty in understanding the true meaning of character defects as applied to me. So I had a full day with my sponsor, discussing and understanding practically each individual word as it was written. I did manage to do the writing though. We had the Big Book, the 12 and 12, and the Hazeldine Guide to 4th step inventory. I found it easier to understand by starting with a character defect first, and then discussing if and how it applied to me. We looked at the 10 commandments, the seven deadly sins and the more general characteristics such as selfishness, dishonest, resentment, procrastination etc. When I found one that made sense I wrote down one or two examples of how this liability had played out in my life. When my sponsor was sure I understood, we moved on to the next one. At the end we has a list of defects, and a clear understanding of exactly how my defective thinking lead me into trouble, and how and why people were hurt.
I still have my 4th step and I get it out now and again. It's amazing how accurate it is, given my state of mind at the time. It got right down to causes and conditions and gave me some great insight, something I had never had before.

Perhaps for me the most important thing was having the help of a sponsor right through this step. I doubt if I could have got there on my own, my abilities were too limited, yet I felt the matter was urgent. I somehow knew I had to take the steps to get well, that I didn't have the option of waiting to get well before I took the steps. Perhaps I took in the exhortation in the big book (p64"...Though our decision was a vital and crucial steps, it could have little permanent effect unless AT ONCE followed by a strenuous effort to face and be rid of, the things in our selves which had been blocking us." The fact that I apparently had so little knowledge of what I was doing seems to have been totally irrelevant.

God bless,
Mike H.

Thanks for the topic. My fourth step was as invigorating as it was important. I could not expect to lose anything of grave value in the process, except some excess baggage. Underneath that sea of turmoil, were the stench of my alcoholic past and the heavy burdens of my youth glaring back at me in all its shame and solitude. I could not experience any lasting sobriety until I got rid of all that clutter and chaos plaguing my soul.

Certain things drove me to drink, or so I thought. The problem all along, besides my drinking, was the inability to control my instincts.  When my instincts went astray, so did my drinking. So, I had to come to grips with that, first and foremost. I wasn't exempt from the frustrating factors of life, now or ever. And if I was to succeed, I must temper those natural desires as best I can. That, my friends, is where the 4th step comes in. I saw how warped my thinking was and how my drinking affected everyone and everything. After making an admission of all that I did wrong, I discovered my liabilities. I saw how these natural desires went astray. They were being used beyond the capacity of human decency. And that's when the healing began.

I felt relieved and vindicated when I released all that fury, bringing some much needed closure to my life. What emerged, ever since, was the person we all can become; a person with a potential for victory and a purpose for living one day at a time. I thank God everyday for my sponsor and all the qualified professionals who helped mold me into the person I am today. Without their help and the program of AA -especially the steps- I would not be able to bear the trials and tribulations of life with the same sober demeanor I do now.

~God Bless~

 Thank you for this letter. i find it very inspiring. i started taking a hard look at myself only after I realized that all the faults i see in other's are only specks of dust compared to the very same shortcomings in myself but on a much grander and scarier scale. i praise God for grace. In spite of me He still loves me.