6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
A step of preparedness and volition.
I have a problem with hanging onto things. It's why my home is junky and why I stayed in a relationship that became somewhat toxic. Even though I was mostly ready for the relationship to end, things didn't change until I was ready to put paid to it.
What did it take for me to be ready for these character defects to be removed? It took embracing Step 1 and admitting that I was powerless and it took facing things about myself that I had defined as "being me" that were not worth holding onto, like people pleasing. That sounds like it is a good thing, but the way we do it it isn't and we need to let it go. Things finally got to a point with me that I was willing to give up anything for things to be different.
LindaO said
Feb 7, 2012
I am stuck in step four so I do not have ESH to express here, but I do have time to give some of the wise words from the workbook on this step.
The principle of the 6th step is willingness. Willingness to have our HP to remove all these defects of character. We have to become ready to have the HP remove them, step 7 is asking for them to be removed. In step 6 we are making ourselves ready to do it.
Some of these defects of character were survival traits that we no longer require. They were identified in step 4 and 5 and addressed. Now... are we ready to let them go?
Direct quote from workbook "The key to becoming free of character defects while making peace with our survival traits involves a three prong approach with willingness, prayer, and time. In some cases we have seen defects of character removed completely in a short time, but for most of us it takes prayer and patience to mark progess. But progress is possible.".... "Willingness is our most powerful ally because it means we are teachable when it comes to addressing our defects of character. By being teachable, we learn to discern how much effort to put into changing our defects and when to get out of the way let God handle it."
flopadopilus said
Feb 10, 2012
My character defects that I am asking my HP (God) to remove are resentments, unforgiveness, obsessing, an eating disorder, control, codependency issues and yes there is even more, but I figure this is a good start. I am willing and working on letting these things go. I really am feeling the changes and workings going on within me and it feels awesome and also alittle awkward since changes tend to fluster me a bit, so I am taking extra time to take care of myself during this step!
LindaO said
Feb 16, 2012
oo yes.. control.. that is certainly one I want to get rid of. Handing over to the HP what other people do... out of my control. I guess we can do this step over again for each defect we wish to change.
LindaO said
Feb 17, 2012
Ok I believe I have caught up to Step 6 now.
Yes I am willing. I am now ready to let go of the fear that keeps me back from changing.
Actually thats probably wrong.. I am willing to experience the fear that keeps me from changing would be more like it.....
Today, I dont' feel the same resentments toward the fact that its ME that has to change when I have done nothing wrong. The fact ofthe matter is.. I did not ask to be treated that way as a child.. but I was.. and that made me do things in my adult life that were/are wrong.
I am now willing to change my adult life.....
Feels like I am sitting in the seat of a carnival ride and the safety bar is getting locked in... Exciting and scarey at the same time.
JamesCT said
Feb 18, 2012
LindaO wrote:I am willing to experience the fear that keeps me from changing would be more like it...
Profound. It is allowing ourselves to feel, to experience the somatic pressures of bad feelings, that is the beginning of the change. I am sitting here feeling really bad, emotionally and physically because of the stress of my current situation. But I am not pretending that everything is all right. Now, I am not wallowing in my discomfort, but I am feeling it.
LindaO said
Feb 20, 2012
I get what you are saying James. It can feel good to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel... and its not a train
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
A step of preparedness and volition.
I have a problem with hanging onto things. It's why my home is junky and why I stayed in a relationship that became somewhat toxic. Even though I was mostly ready for the relationship to end, things didn't change until I was ready to put paid to it.
What did it take for me to be ready for these character defects to be removed? It took embracing Step 1 and admitting that I was powerless and it took facing things about myself that I had defined as "being me" that were not worth holding onto, like people pleasing. That sounds like it is a good thing, but the way we do it it isn't and we need to let it go. Things finally got to a point with me that I was willing to give up anything for things to be different.
The principle of the 6th step is willingness.
Willingness to have our HP to remove all these defects of character.
We have to become ready to have the HP remove them, step 7 is asking for them to be removed.
In step 6 we are making ourselves ready to do it.
Some of these defects of character were survival traits that we no longer require. They were identified in step 4 and 5 and addressed. Now... are we ready to let them go?
Direct quote from workbook
"The key to becoming free of character defects while making peace with our survival traits involves a three prong approach with willingness, prayer, and time. In some cases we have seen defects of character removed completely in a short time, but for most of us it takes prayer and patience to mark progess. But progress is possible.".... "Willingness is our most powerful ally because it means we are teachable when it comes to addressing our defects of character. By being teachable, we learn to discern how much effort to put into changing our defects and when to get out of the way let God handle it."
Handing over to the HP what other people do... out of my control.
I guess we can do this step over again for each defect we wish to change.
I believe I have caught up to Step 6 now.
Yes I am willing. I am now ready to let go of the fear that keeps me back from changing.
Actually thats probably wrong.. I am willing to experience the fear that keeps me from changing would be more like it.....
Today, I dont' feel the same resentments toward the fact that its ME that has to change when I have done nothing wrong. The fact ofthe matter is.. I did not ask to be treated that way as a child.. but I was.. and that made me do things in my adult life that were/are wrong.
I am now willing to change my adult life.....
Feels like I am sitting in the seat of a carnival ride and the safety bar is getting locked in... Exciting and scarey at the same time.
Profound. It is allowing ourselves to feel, to experience the somatic pressures of bad feelings, that is the beginning of the change. I am sitting here feeling really bad, emotionally and physically because of the stress of my current situation. But I am not pretending that everything is all right. Now, I am not wallowing in my discomfort, but I am feeling it.
It can feel good to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel... and its not a train