12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
As they say back in the old neighborhood, "It's not about you."
DavidG said
Oct 13, 2012
Hmmm... yes James... in this part of the world we put a "u" in neighbourhood.
My neighbourhood was rural- it was close, friendly, but it did have an underbelly. I think gossip and criticism was a big part of this underbelly- 'the tall poppy syndrome'. And this could easily turn life into a wreckage. And keep people right where they are.
In ACA, and our 12 step community I think we do a whole lot better.
I think we are anonymous, but not invisible. Being lost and invisible is a big big deal for an adult child. I think inside of this sheilaship and fellowship we do show a whole lot of loyalty. Some of the misplaced loyalty to wrecked family and community can work over here.
Showing rtust and respect is good... it build bonds of friendship.
I think that is healing...
thanks mate!
Tasha said
Oct 22, 2012
Hello - I would just like to introduce myself. I am an adult child, and I did some work with a counselor about 10 yrs ago pertaining to this (only about 6 months). I was required to because of a DWI - I am also an alcoholic. My time spent working with her was amazing. I didn't feel the need to drink. I would see her on Friday, and by wednesday was feeling really awful, and white knuckle it the last few days and feel great again after seeing her. I wish I would have known then that this board was available, and that their were support groups. I of course had everyone fooled into thinking I personally was not as messed up in any regard as I was.
Anyway - I'm glad to be thinking about these things again. One feeling that I really didn't like while meeting with the counselor was that I was always mad and angry and setting huge boundries with my alcoholic dad who is my best friend... which made us no longer friends at all. Oh dear, I suppose it's a complicated long story : ( Not sure if I should open this can of worms yet as I just went into recovery for my own alcoholism less than a year ago. I suppose it can be different this time with the help of a HP... something I didn't believe in back then.
DavidG said
Oct 23, 2012
I am the group member here...
My name is David, a proud member of ACA.
I came from the Mommy group over to ACA, but that is no matter.
I am still actively involved here in Alanon.
There are a number of issues you raise- essential issues; and I can relate to them all.
I can give opinions and not advice, but only when asked.
Mostly its just a chance to listen to you, and give you the opportunity to vent,
to be heard as an individual.
To sort out what is important for you, and to set your own priorities.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
As they say back in the old neighborhood, "It's not about you."
Hmmm... yes James... in this part of the world we put a "u" in neighbourhood.
My neighbourhood was rural- it was close, friendly, but it did have an underbelly
. I think gossip and criticism was a big part of this underbelly- 'the tall poppy syndrome'. And this could easily turn life into a wreckage. 
And keep people right where they are.
In ACA, and our 12 step community I think we do a whole lot better.
I think we are anonymous, but not invisible. Being lost and invisible is a big big deal for an adult child
. I think inside of this sheilaship and fellowship we do show a whole lot of loyalty
. Some of the misplaced loyalty to wrecked family and community can work over here.
Showing rtust and respect is good... it build bonds of friendship.
I think that is healing...
Anyway - I'm glad to be thinking about these things again. One feeling that I really didn't like while meeting with the counselor was that I was always mad and angry and setting huge boundries with my alcoholic dad who is my best friend... which made us no longer friends at all. Oh dear, I suppose it's a complicated long story : ( Not sure if I should open this can of worms yet as I just went into recovery for my own alcoholism less than a year ago. I suppose it can be different this time with the help of a HP... something I didn't believe in back then.
My name is David, a proud member of ACA.
I came from the Mommy group over to ACA, but that is no matter.
I am still actively involved here in Alanon.
There are a number of issues you raise- essential issues; and I can relate to them all.
I can give opinions and not advice, but only when asked.
Mostly its just a chance to listen to you, and give you the opportunity to vent,
to be heard as an individual.
To sort out what is important for you, and to set your own priorities.
Your goals, your hopes and dreams are important!
-take care... DavidG.