IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL
STEP 10
CONTINUED TO TAKE PERSONAL INVENTORY AND WHEN I WAS WRONG PROMPTLY ADMITTED IT.
COURAGE TO CHANGE PAGE 288
DO NOT SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH, SAID AN ANCIENT PATRIARCH,ONLY CEASE TO CHERISH OPINIONS.THIS IS A PART OF THE TENTH STEP MUCH OF WHAT I FIND WRONG IN MY LIFE IS RELATED TO OPINIONS, SELF RIGHTEOUS STANCES, AND ATTITUDES.
IT IS NO EASY TASK TO CHANGE THE THINKING OF A LIFETIME THE 10 STEP REMINDS ME WHEN I AM SLIDING BACK TO FAULTY THINKING.BY PROMPTLY ADMITTING WHEN I AM WRONG I AM DOING WHAT I CAN TO CHANGE.
MY SHARE
THIS IS A WONDERFUL STEP, IT HELPS TO KEEP ME FOCUSED ON MYSELF, AND it PREVENTs ME FROM ALLOWING MY DEFECTS TO SURFACE AND DESTROY MY LIFE AGAIN.I USED THIS STEP EVERY NIGHTI WOULD REVIEW MY DAY, NOTICE WHEN I FELT WRONGNOT WHENII WAS WRONG (BECAUSE IN THE EARLY DAYS I ALWAYS FELT I WAS WRONG) I COULD EASILY TRACE WHAT WAS GOIING WRONG WITH MY THINKING OR ACTING.i WOULD SEE WHAT CAUSED ME TO FEEL WRONG, ANGRY, SAD, LESS ThAN, JEALOUS ETC AND THEN CHECK WHAT DEFECT SURFACED, OWN THEM TO MYSELF AND SPONSOR.BEING AWARE AND FOCUSED AS THE STEP REQUESTS TRULY HELPS ME DAily TO STAY THE COURSE. AND BE AWARE OF MY ASSETS, GRATITUDE LIST AND ACTIONS.
STEP 10 QUESTIONS
Do you spend time each morning or evening reviewing your day? Or do you allow your insights to happen naturally, as you go through life and recovery? Do you combine tactics? What works best for you?
2. When was the last time you caught yourself doing something you didn't feel good about? Did you take care of the issue promptly?
3. Either daily or weekly, force yourself to find one thing in your life and one idea about yourself that is good. Affirm that good until it sinks in and feels real. Strive to find one thing that you like about someone who is important to you, and then take the risk of telling that person.
4. Watch for ways that fear, anger, and resentment arise in your life. Watch for beliefs underlying these feelings. Watch for ways that your anger toward yourself influences your anger and behavior toward others and yourself
dponlyme said
Feb 25, 2013
Strange but I never really read the twelve steps until today... at least not with an eye toward myself. I guess I always felt they were for the alcoholic and not me. From the time I went into the hospital for the second time in a couple months for suicide attempts, I have been working these steps subconciously perhaps. For the first time in my life I have gotten 'real' with God. I've come to recognize that most of my problems have been self imposed and not by my AW. I am responsible for how I feel irregardless of what she does.
I don't have a set schedule but I try to daily pray and ask God to bring to the forefront of my mind when I have been wrong in deed or attitude. I can now see so clearly where I am falling short. I have learned also not to be my own judge (jury and executioner). I Don't do everything perfectly and allow her to make me angry at times but I have provided a better outlet for myself to express it (alanon message board, brother, mother) instead of taking it out on her which never succeeds in changing her behaviour and always succeds in making things even worse. Now more often than not I see her disease as the culprit rather than her. I find myself being able to set boundaries and not feel guilty about keeping them. I am learning that I am responsible to God and am trying to place less importance on her approval. If God is happy with me then it must be that if she is unhappy with me it is her problem and does not have to be mine.
hotrod said
Feb 25, 2013
Dera dponlyme
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and powerful recovery . So glad that you found this Message Board and are looking at the Steps as part of your recovery tools. When I first entered the rooms the Steps seemed so formidable. I decided that I could stay in the present and each night review my actions of the day and finally see my part (Step 10). Step 11- praying for HP's will and the Power to carry it out was also helpful I thought I could do HP's will if I received the power to do so. The Steps worked like a miracle in my recovery. Thank you for being here.
hotrod said
Mar 1, 2013
Shenny Posted this to Step 10 work in 2012 Thought it would be helpful here
this is the list of daily inventory questions that I found in Paths to Recovery p. 107 - 108. i'm working step 10 with my sponsor and am starting these tonight. figured it might be useful if they existed on the forum so folks can cut and paste them if they want.
what were the major events of the day?
what feelings did i experience?
how did i deal with them?
did i get myself involved in any situation today that i had no business being in?
what can help me to accept myself as i make mistakes again and again?
did fear or faith rule my actions today?
how can i admit my wrongs despite my pride and fear that it will be used against me?
am i at fault for trying for peace at any price? what are my motives?
how do i know when to make amends and when not to?
what positive traits did i exhibit today?
what negative traits did i exhibit today?
how did i try to fix anyone today?
how can i "Let Go Let God"?
did i abandon my own needs today? how?
have i been too accommodating, saying "yes" when i wanted to say "no"?
was i afraid of an authority figure? of anyone? why or why not?
what small things can i do to practice standing up for myself?
how did i take on anyone else's responsibility today?
what am i afraid will happen if i don't take on extra responsibility?
if i was wrong did i promptly admit it?
what can i do to take good care of myself today?
is there something i need to take a longer look at? what is it?
have i done something difficult or particularly well today? how can i appreciate myself for it?
__________________
courage said
Mar 4, 2013
Thank you, HotRod for leading this Step Work Board
1. When I look back at my day's activities it helps me to notice how I reacted to the things going on around me, and if it was a positive reaction. Sometimes my attitude goes down in the basement so it takes a lot of self review to decide if I was doing the best thing at the time. My insights remind me that what I do reflects on those around me. Combining tactics works best for me.
2. My negative thought patterns are what I feel uncomfortable with. I know I need to get with my Higher Power and ask for the strength to make myself well, to look at the things I can do to correct my misperceptions and fears. It is good when I catch myself in a downward spiral of thinking so that I can stop myself and plant my feet firmly on the ground again. If I'm not aware that I'm letting myself get out of control, say with jealousy or frustration then I don't change my thinking right away. Sometimes it takes me a while to get back on track and play by the rules. Ideally, I would be showing my good side most of the time.. it takes a lot more self control & awareness than I have right now to do that.
3. People have told me I'm being dishonest about not being able to find the positive & good about me, because I focus on the negative. Since everyone is both good and bad, my distorted perceptions are very self-critical. The best part of my life right now is my beautiful family and recovery friends. One good thing about myself is that I'm willing to help people. I have to extend myself and be open to whether they want help or not. I tell people in my life about their good qualities when I'm impressed by their strength & talents.
4. A lot of my actions are affected by underlying fear, anger & resentments. It's hard to admit, because I show a calm exterior and don't say much. Some of my beliefs that affect these feelings are that I'm 'not as good' or 'less than' others or that other are receiving preferential treatment. Being angry at myself plays a part in the way I think and act because I have a certain idea of the way I want things to be (still, after years of recovery) and about what point I want to be in life and things are not going to match my ideas. I really need to let go of some of them!
Thank you for reading .
courage (Della W.)
hotrod said
Mar 4, 2013
Thank you Della
I appreciate your honesty and self searching. When a member is willing to go inward and share their inner thoughts we all grow. I too was never able to value my assets and downplayed them continually--- until my sponsor insisted that I write an asset list each day and include it in my 10th Step review each night. That worked.
So glad you are sharing the journey
amy101 said
Mar 13, 2013
thank you for sharing. i am also recognizing the importance of self awareness and self control .
-- Edited by amy101 on Wednesday 13th of March 2013 06:51:39 PM
IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL
STEP 10
CONTINUED TO TAKE PERSONAL INVENTORY AND WHEN I WAS WRONG PROMPTLY ADMITTED IT.
COURAGE TO CHANGE PAGE 288
DO NOT SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH, SAID AN ANCIENT PATRIARCH,ONLY CEASE TO CHERISH OPINIONS. THIS IS A PART OF THE TENTH STEP MUCH OF WHAT I FIND WRONG IN MY LIFE IS RELATED TO OPINIONS, SELF RIGHTEOUS STANCES, AND ATTITUDES.
IT IS NO EASY TASK TO CHANGE THE THINKING OF A LIFETIME THE 10 STEP REMINDS ME WHEN I AM SLIDING BACK TO FAULTY THINKING. BY PROMPTLY ADMITTING WHEN I AM WRONG I AM DOING WHAT I CAN TO CHANGE.
MY SHARE
THIS IS A WONDERFUL STEP, IT HELPS TO KEEP ME FOCUSED ON MYSELF, AND it PREVENTs ME FROM ALLOWING MY DEFECTS TO SURFACE AND DESTROY MY LIFE AGAIN. I USED THIS STEP EVERY NIGHT I WOULD REVIEW MY DAY, NOTICE WHEN I FELT WRONG NOT WHENI I WAS WRONG (BECAUSE IN THE EARLY DAYS I ALWAYS FELT I WAS WRONG) I COULD EASILY TRACE WHAT WAS GOIING WRONG WITH MY THINKING OR ACTING. i WOULD SEE WHAT CAUSED ME TO FEEL WRONG, ANGRY, SAD, LESS ThAN, JEALOUS ETC AND THEN CHECK WHAT DEFECT SURFACED, OWN THEM TO MYSELF AND SPONSOR. BEING AWARE AND FOCUSED AS THE STEP REQUESTS TRULY HELPS ME DAily TO STAY THE COURSE. AND BE AWARE OF MY ASSETS, GRATITUDE LIST AND ACTIONS.
STEP 10 QUESTIONS
Do you spend time each morning or evening reviewing your day? Or do you allow your insights to happen naturally, as you go through life and recovery? Do you combine tactics? What works best for you?
2. When was the last time you caught yourself doing something you didn't feel good about? Did you take care of the issue promptly?
3. Either daily or weekly, force yourself to find one thing in your life and one idea about yourself that is good. Affirm that good until it sinks in and feels real. Strive to find one thing that you like about someone who is important to you, and then take the risk of telling that person.
4. Watch for ways that fear, anger, and resentment arise in your life. Watch for beliefs underlying these feelings. Watch for ways that your anger toward yourself influences your anger and behavior toward others and yourself
I don't have a set schedule but I try to daily pray and ask God to bring to the forefront of my mind when I have been wrong in deed or attitude. I can now see so clearly where I am falling short. I have learned also not to be my own judge (jury and executioner). I Don't do everything perfectly and allow her to make me angry at times but I have provided a better outlet for myself to express it (alanon message board, brother, mother) instead of taking it out on her which never succeeds in changing her behaviour and always succeds in making things even worse. Now more often than not I see her disease as the culprit rather than her. I find myself being able to set boundaries and not feel guilty about keeping them. I am learning that I am responsible to God and am trying to place less importance on her approval. If God is happy with me then it must be that if she is unhappy with me it is her problem and does not have to be mine.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and powerful recovery . So glad that you found this Message Board and are looking at the Steps as part of your recovery tools. When I first entered the rooms the Steps seemed so formidable. I decided that I could stay in the present and each night review my actions of the day and finally see my part (Step 10). Step 11- praying for HP's will and the Power to carry it out was also helpful I thought I could do HP's will if I received the power to do so. The Steps worked like a miracle in my recovery.
Thank you for being here.
Shenny Posted this to Step 10 work in 2012 Thought it would be helpful here
this is the list of daily inventory questions that I found in Paths to Recovery p. 107 - 108. i'm working step 10 with my sponsor and am starting these tonight. figured it might be useful if they existed on the forum so folks can cut and paste them if they want.
Thank you, HotRod for leading this Step Work Board
1. When I look back at my day's activities it helps me to notice how I reacted to the things going on around me, and if it was a positive reaction. Sometimes my attitude goes down in the basement so it takes a lot of self review to decide if I was doing the best thing at the time. My insights remind me that what I do reflects on those around me. Combining tactics works best for me.
2. My negative thought patterns are what I feel uncomfortable with. I know I need to get with my Higher Power and ask for the strength to make myself well, to look at the things I can do to correct my misperceptions and fears. It is good when I catch myself in a downward spiral of thinking so that I can stop myself and plant my feet firmly on the ground again. If I'm not aware that I'm letting myself get out of control, say with jealousy or
frustration then I don't change my thinking right away. Sometimes it takes me a while to get back on track and play by the rules. Ideally, I would be showing my good side most of the time.. it takes a lot more self control & awareness than I have right now to do that.
3. People have told me I'm being dishonest about not being able to find the positive & good about me, because I focus on the negative. Since everyone is both good and bad, my distorted perceptions are very self-critical. The best part of my life right now is my beautiful family and recovery friends. One good thing about myself is that I'm willing to help people. I have to extend myself and be open to whether they want help or not. I tell people in my life about their good qualities when I'm impressed by their strength & talents.
4. A lot of my actions are affected by underlying fear, anger & resentments. It's hard to admit, because I show a calm exterior and don't say much. Some of my beliefs that affect these feelings are that I'm 'not as good' or 'less than' others or that other are receiving preferential treatment. Being angry at myself plays a part in the way I think and act because I have a certain idea of the way I want things to be (still, after years of recovery) and about what point I want to be in life and things are not going to match my ideas. I really need to let go of some of them!
Thank you for reading
.
courage (Della W.)
Thank you Della
I appreciate your honesty and self searching. When a member is willing to go inward and share their inner thoughts we all grow. I too was never able to value my assets and downplayed them continually--- until my sponsor insisted that I write an asset list each day and include it in my 10th Step review each night. That worked.
So glad you are sharing the journey
thank you for sharing. i am also recognizing the importance of self awareness and self control .
-- Edited by amy101 on Wednesday 13th of March 2013 06:51:39 PM
Dear Amy
Thank you fro sharing Glad you are here.