1: We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
I've been clean & sober in AA for 34 years. I still have problems with co-dependence issues. I was left alone on the streets when I was 13 years old & had some bad times & nobody really did care about me so thanks to AA I am alive, but I married a fellow alcoholic in AA & he was sober for 11 years & we had hope, but he's been back out for 18 years & have stayed through hell. I am now powerless over the effects of alcoholism & my life is definitely unmanageable. I have put up with assaults, cheating (even in my own home), porn addiction from him, total disrespectful behavior & I have told myself that I would want someone to love me enough to stay if I got drunk again, but I am realizing that I am not doing this for him, I am doing this for me to recreate my dad leaving me night after night & anxiously awaiting his return & my dad never did return. I want to heal from all that & I want to change. My sister recently passed away & I am seeing how she died & never did get better. She never married, had kids or anything & died alone because of her fear of living like we did as kids. I want to at last be happy. I don't care what it costs now, even if it is my addiction to stress.
hotrod said
Mar 4, 2013
Dear coniolga
Thank you for your honest and insighfful share. The meetings, steps and support of ACA members are all keys to recovery. We have an ACA Message Board here that has many members Here is the link
1: We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
I am working my way through Step 1 with my sponsor. I am powerless over the effects of alcoholism and family dysfunction. I am powerless over the physical and emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of my family. I am powerless over the need to control everything and everyone and I admit that my life is completely unmanageable because of this. I am powerless over the anger that I feel inside because that is the only honest emotion that I ever had experience of growing up in my dysfunctional family. I want to reach out and connect with others, but it is hard. I have visited the message board and posted to it for awhile....now I read others postings and think about what I read. I actively attend a weekly ACA meeting. I hit a bottom and it led me to ACA and to these websites, because I want to recover and get better.
JamesCT said
Mar 8, 2013
I'm gratified to hear, Trinity, that you're working the steps. Please come join us at the ACA board for ESH!
You are certainly working the steps and you are becomming aware of what is really happening in your life. That is a great gift.
The change you desire for yourself will come; even in the great pain. I wish you peace and joy each day. This program will help you find it. If you faulter in your hope thats ok. It is a difficult yet rewarding process.
I find great healing in the meetings where I can share without judgment, condemnation or advice.
With love - Davie (Gail)
lin34 said
Mar 29, 2013
I am recovering alnon member. I grew up with an alcholic mother who often left me for weeks to go off drinking and partying with friends. i was seven years old and it did hurt me so much that I have a hard time ending friendships and relationships. It is like I go through this abandoment all over again with my mom leaving me and I am staring out the window just waiting for her to come back. Recently I befriend an alcholic in a couseling group setting whom I tried to "help" to get to aa meetings. This turned into something that almost destroyed my marriage until my Hp intervened and my husband asked me about this person. It made me look at what could of happened and why i felt so strongly about this person. Well insight came in the form of the seven year old girl needing to find someone who needed her so they would not leave her like her mother did. I am thankful for the alnon program, mediation, prayer and meetings that have helped guide me to a place of calmness. I am working through step one thank you for your post.
Davie said
Mar 29, 2013
Hello to that 7 year old little girl. I'm sorry your mom left you. She shouldn't have. I know we hesitate to say should's ect however her behavior helped to cause some of your life long struggles. I am not someone who says just forgive and forget. And as an adult you had a situation with another person which you became aware was hurting your marriage. What a gift and growth that shows. Even though painful. We do move past the hurts of childhood, but each of us in our own time and with some uncomfortable grieving. The sting of our parents and siblings hurts becomes less. Your share helped me. Thank you. Stay safe Davie (Gail/ACA)
1: We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
I've been clean & sober in AA for 34 years. I still have problems with co-dependence issues. I was left alone on the streets when I was 13 years old & had some bad times & nobody really did care about me so thanks to AA I am alive, but I married a fellow alcoholic in AA & he was sober for 11 years & we had hope, but he's been back out for 18 years & have stayed through hell. I am now powerless over the effects of alcoholism & my life is definitely unmanageable. I have put up with assaults, cheating (even in my own home), porn addiction from him, total disrespectful behavior & I have told myself that I would want someone to love me enough to stay if I got drunk again, but I am realizing that I am not doing this for him, I am doing this for me to recreate my dad leaving me night after night & anxiously awaiting his return & my dad never did return. I want to heal from all that & I want to change. My sister recently passed away & I am seeing how she died & never did get better. She never married, had kids or anything & died alone because of her fear of living like we did as kids. I want to at last be happy. I don't care what it costs now, even if it is my addiction to stress.
Dear coniolga
Thank you for your honest and insighfful share. The meetings, steps and support of ACA members are all keys to recovery. We have an ACA Message Board here that has many members Here is the link
http://acoa.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42759
Please join us there as well
I am working my way through Step 1 with my sponsor. I am powerless over the effects of alcoholism and family dysfunction. I am powerless over the physical and emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of my family. I am powerless over the need to control everything and everyone and I admit that my life is completely unmanageable because of this. I am powerless over the anger that I feel inside because that is the only honest emotion that I ever had experience of growing up in my dysfunctional family. I want to reach out and connect with others, but it is hard. I have visited the message board and posted to it for awhile....now I read others postings and think about what I read. I actively attend a weekly ACA meeting. I hit a bottom and it led me to ACA and to these websites, because I want to recover and get better.
I'm gratified to hear, Trinity, that you're working the steps. Please come join us at the ACA board for ESH!
http://acoa.activeboard.com
Dear Coniolga
You are certainly working the steps and you are becomming aware of what is really happening in your life. That is a great gift.
The change you desire for yourself will come; even in the great pain. I wish you peace and joy each day. This program will help you find it. If you faulter in your hope thats ok. It is a difficult yet rewarding process.
I find great healing in the meetings where I can share without judgment, condemnation or advice.
With love - Davie (Gail)
I am recovering alnon member. I grew up with an alcholic mother who often left me for weeks to go off drinking and partying with friends. i was seven years old and it did hurt me so much that I have a hard time ending friendships and relationships. It is like I go through this abandoment all over again with my mom leaving me and I am staring out the window just waiting for her to come back. Recently I befriend an alcholic in a couseling group setting whom I tried to "help" to get to aa meetings. This turned into something that almost destroyed my marriage until my Hp intervened and my husband asked me about this person. It made me look at what could of happened and why i felt so strongly about this person. Well insight came in the form of the seven year old girl needing to find someone who needed her so they would not leave her like her mother did. I am thankful for the alnon program, mediation, prayer and meetings that have helped guide me to a place of calmness. I am working through step one thank you for your post.
I'm sorry your mom left you. She shouldn't have. I know we hesitate to say should's ect however her behavior helped to cause some of your life long struggles. I am not someone who says just forgive and forget. And as an adult you had a situation with another person which you became aware was hurting your marriage. What a gift and growth that shows. Even though painful.
We do move past the hurts of childhood, but each of us in our own time and with some uncomfortable grieving. The sting of our parents and siblings hurts becomes less. Your share helped me. Thank you. Stay safe
Davie (Gail/ACA)