Lyne I agree we are all equals . When I decided to place HP above me, then myself then everyone else, I found, that my choices and decisions became very clear.
I hear your struggles to maintain this relationship as long as your partner is willing to seek recovery. That sounds like a reasonable plan and with you working your program, letting go of negative attitudes the path should be clearer.
I know I tried desperately to stay in my marriage I did not want to leave but the pain of staying even with all my alanon tools forced me to do the thing I feared the most---- Leave. He entered rehab , AA and within 6 months we were back togehter He remained sober until cancer took him 6 years later.
HP works in mysterious ways. Please keep praying and taking care of you
-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 15th of May 2013 12:07:53 PM
Lyne said
May 15, 2013
Step 3 Questions:
I am able to turn my will over to God but somedays, like today, my enthusiasm diminishes. Too much stress, all stems from A, now my son is involved, and I just feel so low.
I believe HP does care for me but for the past few months I have much suffering emotionally.
This morning I turned it over and turned it over and said the 3 C's many times, and since talking to my son and my A I feel so badly.
I guess I did take my will back and I don't want it! I will try now to give it back to HP. I know I can't solve what's going on. I would like someone else to.
I try to express God's will by talking to others about what I am learning, by treating all living creatures the way I want to be treated, and by trying to set a good example of treating myself with respect. But I think by staying with my A I may not be treating myself with respect.
One of my meditation tapes from D. Chopra says that no one is above me, and no one is below me. I think that is what HP would want, Lyne
Jerry F said
May 15, 2013
Aloha Lyne and welcome to the practice, practice, practice. Before Al-Anon anything that was supposed to look like, sound like, smell like or feel like a 3rd step was superficial...in my head where my "control room" was. I had to get God and the concept of God outside of my head and down into my core...center...gut or in the language of my culture "my na`au" ...my spiritual center, that other place of "me" which wasn't physical. I had to come to understand and believe and to act on it's reality and exercise the "faith" that it was real and after much practice it came about. How? and How did I know? Before it happened I was addicted to my alcoholic/addict wife...she and everything about her...good/bad/indifferent was the center of my life...the "she" controlled all levels of my existence and I was hooked firmly. When things were bad or worse I would be okay if at the end of the day or the war she was laying next to me safe and asleep and that way I also could be calm, assured and relaxed enough to sleep myself. We were separated and I couldn't sleep because of it. I needed to sleep because sleep depravation was making me ill. After a home group meeting one night as I layed in bed trying to count the tiny holes in the ceiling tile above me in the dark I came to understand that I needed to sleep with someone bigger than, greater than, more powerful than my addiction to my alcoholic/addict wife and so I asked my Higher Power to come lay next to me and hold me so that I could feel secure and safe and at ease and after that request...I fell fast asleep. In the morning I had more than just a physical awakeningl; I had a spiritual awakening. I woke up fresh and light and "fear"less. I woke up to Martin Luther King's exclamation, "Free at last, Free at last...thank God I'm free at last". I hadn't even asked to be free of fear and until that point wasn't aware that the emotion which I suffered most was fear. I wasn't afraid of being alone or afraid that she would die or anything else. My HP was real and listened and granted requests and fulfilled needs. Just my experience. ((((Hugs))))
Lyne I agree we are all equals . When I decided to place HP above me, then myself then everyone else, I found, that my choices and decisions became very clear.
I hear your struggles to maintain this relationship as long as your partner is willing to seek recovery. That sounds like a reasonable plan and with you working your program, letting go of negative attitudes the path should be clearer.
I know I tried desperately to stay in my marriage I did not want to leave but the pain of staying even with all my alanon tools forced me to do the thing I feared the most---- Leave. He entered rehab , AA and within 6 months we were back togehter He remained sober until cancer took him 6 years later.
HP works in mysterious ways. Please keep praying and taking care of you
-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 15th of May 2013 12:07:53 PM
Step 3 Questions:
I am able to turn my will over to God but somedays, like today, my enthusiasm diminishes. Too much stress, all stems from A, now my son is involved, and I just feel so low.
I believe HP does care for me but for the past few months I have much suffering emotionally.
This morning I turned it over and turned it over and said the 3 C's many times, and since talking to my son and my A I feel so badly.
I guess I did take my will back and I don't want it! I will try now to give it back to HP. I know I can't solve what's going on. I would like someone else to.
I try to express God's will by talking to others about what I am learning, by treating all living creatures the way I want to be treated, and by trying to set a good example of treating myself with respect. But I think by staying with my A I may not be treating myself with respect.
One of my meditation tapes from D. Chopra says that no one is above me, and no one is below me. I think that is what HP would want, Lyne
Aloha Lyne and welcome to the practice, practice, practice. Before Al-Anon anything that was supposed to look like, sound like, smell like or feel like a 3rd step was superficial...in my head where my "control room" was. I had to get God and the concept of God outside of my head and down into my core...center...gut or in the language of my culture "my na`au" ...my spiritual center, that other place of "me" which wasn't physical. I had to come to understand and believe and to act on it's reality and exercise the "faith" that it was real and after much practice it came about. How? and How did I know? Before it happened I was addicted to my alcoholic/addict wife...she and everything about her...good/bad/indifferent was the center of my life...the "she" controlled all levels of my existence and I was hooked firmly. When things were bad or worse I would be okay if at the end of the day or the war she was laying next to me safe and asleep and that way I also could be calm, assured and relaxed enough to sleep myself. We were separated and I couldn't sleep because of it. I needed to sleep because sleep depravation was making me ill. After a home group meeting one night as I layed in bed trying to count the tiny holes in the ceiling tile above me in the dark I came to understand that I needed to sleep with someone bigger than, greater than, more powerful than my addiction to my alcoholic/addict wife and so I asked my Higher Power to come lay next to me and hold me so that I could feel secure and safe and at ease and after that request...I fell fast asleep. In the morning I had more than just a physical awakeningl; I had a spiritual awakening. I woke up fresh and light and "fear"less. I woke up to Martin Luther King's exclamation, "Free at last, Free at last...thank God I'm free at last". I hadn't even asked to be free of fear and until that point wasn't aware that the emotion which I suffered most was fear. I wasn't afraid of being alone or afraid that she would die or anything else. My HP was real and listened and granted requests and fulfilled needs. Just my experience. ((((Hugs))))