5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

The concept of casting spells comes from the power of speaking words aloud. For many it, in fact, makes things real on a mental or philosophical level.

And that's why these things need to be spoken. You're not hiding from your past. You're making it real in order to move on from it.

This isn't about community shame, so don't think you have to tell the world your business. You just have to make your stuff real and deal with it.

Thanks James...  These are really good thoughts. I do not have to go back to steps 4 and 5 constantly and dredge up more filth on myself. I have learned to trust my own feelings- to do the maintenance steps.

At the moment I am facing an almost brutal amount of shame. But it is not coming from me.It is being heaped on my from outside. My boundaries are good enough now for me to discern this. Because is is coming from close quarters, from within my face to face group, it is painful. I have to question whether I want to be caring and compassionate.

I do question whether I can be detached and calm in the face of such an onslaught. But I must. it is part of the price of membership, and, to me, part of the price of being a member of the human race.

Am I being a martyr? Well if I pictured myself carrying this load of shame and guilt for ever- yes certainly. Is this a big big test for me- yes... it surely is. Will it pass?

Well other people have choices. My sharing of those telling words "will it pass" kinda sums up my hidden hunchs. A reference to some fairly fundamental bodily functions.

I guess I have put the situation into perspective.

Thanks again James. 

-D.