One of the things that turned up in step 4 works is a childhood memory.
I was the oldest of 5 children , both parents were dysfunctional. When one child was sick, we usually gave it to the next and we all stayed in bed. I remember when it was our turn with the mumps. The 3 boys had to stay home and in bed because there was, according to mom, some danger of impotence in adult men who have had mumps as a child. In spite of the fact that I lacked the proper anatomy for impotence, I was resentful that they got to stay home. I decided that I might have mumps too. Mom made me stay home because I might be contagious, and , boy, I got 7-up and free milkshakes too. Early case of manipulation?
This small incident shows how much I wanted to be taken care of. Did I carry this wish into adulthood?
The funny thing is I hate it when someone starts taking care of me because it affects my feeling of independence....very contradictory. Anyway, that's where I am now..
All this stuff keeps popping up....what do we do with it?
best
carla(toto)
amanda2u2 said
Jan 19, 2006
yes, things do pop up,,, and the things vary. some things are comparatively minor, and some things are pretty major. Some things are superficial things, and some things are core things that resulted in other things, like ripples, that are complicated. So what is done with each one may differ. One basic thing though,,,, as something comes up,, we look at it as honestly as possible, consider it from our older and wiser perspectives, invite our Higher Power into it,,, lots of times things get resolved to some extent,, and then we can let it go. The follow ups to Step 4, when things pop up,,, are to follow through,,, sharing it with someone, asking God to help us to learn and grow, and making amends where appropriate. When we have made the amends, corrections, done the forgiving, learned and grown... we do get freed from bondages... things that held us bound to or by that memory or event,, get resolved and then we are free to let it go and move on.
love in recovery,
amanda
dot said
Jan 20, 2006
Hi - Ditto to all that Amanda said. That's the way the program works.
After many 24 hours of Al-Anon I still have events from my past come to light and I need to look at them, share them and make amends where necessary and possible. I think my Higher Power waits to reveal some things until I'm strong enought to handle them.
Glad you're here - keep coming back.
Love and hugs - Dot
Hi,
One of the things that turned up in step 4 works is a childhood memory.
I was the oldest of 5 children , both parents were dysfunctional. When one child was sick, we usually gave it to the next and we all stayed in bed. I remember when it was our turn with the mumps. The 3 boys had to stay home and in bed because there was, according to mom, some danger of impotence in adult men who have had mumps as a child. In spite of the fact that I lacked the proper anatomy for impotence, I was resentful that they got to stay home. I decided that I might have mumps too. Mom made me stay home because I might be contagious, and , boy, I got 7-up and free milkshakes too. Early case of manipulation?
This small incident shows how much I wanted to be taken care of. Did I carry this wish into adulthood?
The funny thing is I hate it when someone starts taking care of me because it affects my feeling of independence....very contradictory. Anyway, that's where I am now..
All this stuff keeps popping up....what do we do with it?
best
carla(toto)
yes, things do pop up,,, and the things vary. some things are comparatively minor, and some things are pretty major. Some things are superficial things, and some things are core things that resulted in other things, like ripples, that are complicated. So what is done with each one may differ. One basic thing though,,,, as something comes up,, we look at it as honestly as possible, consider it from our older and wiser perspectives, invite our Higher Power into it,,, lots of times things get resolved to some extent,, and then we can let it go. The follow ups to Step 4, when things pop up,,, are to follow through,,, sharing it with someone, asking God to help us to learn and grow, and making amends where appropriate. When we have made the amends, corrections, done the forgiving, learned and grown... we do get freed from bondages... things that held us bound to or by that memory or event,, get resolved and then we are free to let it go and move on.
love in recovery,
amanda