After 13 years continual soberiety, I picked up a drink over 2 months ago, what can I say, nothing!
The pain has been intense and the chaos in my life totally unmanageable.
Today I am back at step 1, Admitted that I am powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanageable.
The power has been taken away from me, it never belonged in the first place, when I stopped attending meetings, the result was a steady decline in thoughts and actions, big MISTAKE.
My Higher Power who I have never lost has taken the POWER back, where it should have been in the first place. He is driving now and I am the passenger, what a huge relief.
This fellowship is beautiful, my life was serene, I was full of gratitude and committed to helping others, this is what I would like to get back, my Higher Power is taking me on a beautiful journey and I am going to forgive myself.
Fellow 1st steppers, it works, just give back the power.
tatiana said
Mar 8, 2014
Please help me with step 1.
DavidG said
Mar 8, 2014
tatiana wrote:
Please help me with step 1.
You have started to do this your self- .
~Please, help~ -is what step 1 is all about...
Welcome, and blessings...
Serenity4uNme said
Mar 21, 2014
for me tatiana .. step 1 is just about coming in and admitting what we are feeling, what we are going through, our confusion, etc .. it's hard to do try to figure out the steps alone; it helps to have guidance .. we are powerless over alcohol (people places things .. our own selves when all we have is our own thinking 'alone) when i speak of guidance .. face to face meetings offline and a sponsor help Greatly ..
Beth Anne said
Apr 5, 2014
Thank you, DavidG.
I am new to this on line forum and to the 12 Step Al Anon Program and appreciate your words below which I copied and pasted. Please help, is what step 1 is all about. I love this!
Kindly,
Beth
You have started to do this your self- .
~Please, help~ -is what step 1 is all about...
cowenc said
Apr 14, 2014
totally new to this step thing.. i'm not sure i'm doing very well at it. I understand that i was completely powerless ... but i'm still feeling powerless. I deal with these people almost daily.. Their behavior has never changed and when I try to change mine... things just get ugly. How do you get past that???
Mr_David said
Jun 25, 2014
I lived in plausible deniability for many years before the reality of my drinking finally sank in. Only then could I see how insidious my life had become. After that, I resigned to fate rather quickly, even though the verdict was not in yet. I suppose my intentions were no match for the powers that be. So off I went to my final destination, unwillingly. Yes, I had some mental reservations early on, fearful as they may be. And yes, I wondered what the final outcome 'could be', given my fondness for skepticism. But I did not question my resolve anymore or my alcoholism. And that's when the healing began.
Like most people, I fought tooth and nail from the very beginning. I was a hard headed alcoholic with an aversion for spirituality, and 'A.A.' was as religious as they come. The unfortunate part, besides my growing skepticism, was how skewed my thought process had become. Yes, A.A. had some serious complications, but so did my drinking. I guess that's why I remained in limbo for such a long time. There was only one question that baffled me from the very beginning, even though the path was rather convincing, and it's a question frequently asked among recovering alcoholics worldwide: What happens next? For me, the answer is pretty clear and it begins with step 1.
The part of step 1 that really got me thinking was the mystery surrounding the word "powerlessness". I still wonder, even today: 'How did alcohol get the best of me'? I guess the details were set in motion long before my undoing, who knows. Unfortunately, the inner debate still rages on even after many years sober. So for now Ill choose a better way of life, despite the occasional bump in the road. Besides, I put more trust in the process today than I do my own intuition, and for good reason. I'm an alcoholic, remember, and alcoholics tend to forget their past or their last drink, you choose. I haven't though, and the reason 'why' has more to do with recovery -via AA- than my own understanding. I was finally set free because of the AA fellowship -not to mention step 1, and for that I'm never at a loss for words. And so should you.
So my suggestion is quite simple, actually: Try not to question how you got here anymore, but rather 'what you should do next'. Sober living is our ultimate goal, but just like every gift it comes at a price. The price of freedom comes from knowing not questioning, and the same goes for our drinking. So I would try to disengage entirely from any train of thought that would question our alcoholism, again. That would be a 'must have' for me in the beginning. Id also forgo the branding as well and focus instead on 'what to do next'. I would bring to light any incident where alcohol caused me distress; and then ask myself how would this unfold differently if alcohol was not a factor? Then you'll know how important the first step really is. That's when we let go absolutely. If only we could scan the images of time, somehow, and conclude what 'not' to do this time around, that would certainly be ideal, wouldn't it? But its not always that easy. Clarity is the necessary glue that binds up the alcoholics ego, which in AA terms means letting go. Believe you me; its needed to make the first step complete. I hope you do, starting today. Well keep a seat warm, just in case. Onward.
~God Bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Wednesday 25th of June 2014 08:17:18 PM
After 13 years continual soberiety, I picked up a drink over 2 months ago, what can I say, nothing!
The pain has been intense and the chaos in my life totally unmanageable.
Today I am back at step 1, Admitted that I am powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanageable.
The power has been taken away from me, it never belonged in the first place, when I stopped attending meetings, the result was a steady decline in thoughts and actions, big MISTAKE.
My Higher Power who I have never lost has taken the POWER back, where it should have been in the first place. He is driving now and I am the passenger, what a huge relief.
This fellowship is beautiful, my life was serene, I was full of gratitude and committed to helping others, this is what I would like to get back, my Higher Power is taking me on a beautiful journey and I am going to forgive myself.
Fellow 1st steppers, it works, just give back the power.
You have started to do this your self-
.
~Please, help~ -is what step 1 is all about...
Welcome, and blessings...
Thank you, DavidG.
I am new to this on line forum and to the 12 Step Al Anon Program and appreciate your words below which I copied and pasted. Please help, is what step 1 is all about. I love this!
Kindly,
Beth
You have started to do this your self-
.
~Please, help~ -is what step 1 is all about...
totally new to this step thing.. i'm not sure i'm doing very well at it. I understand that i was completely powerless ... but i'm still feeling powerless. I deal with these people almost daily.. Their behavior has never changed and when I try to change mine... things just get ugly. How do you get past that???
I lived in plausible deniability for many years before the reality of my drinking finally sank in. Only then could I see how insidious my life had become. After that, I resigned to fate rather quickly, even though the verdict was not in yet. I suppose my intentions were no match for the powers that be. So off I went to my final destination, unwillingly. Yes, I had some mental reservations early on, fearful as they may be. And yes, I wondered what the final outcome 'could be', given my fondness for skepticism. But I did not question my resolve anymore or my alcoholism. And that's when the healing began.
Like most people, I fought tooth and nail from the very beginning. I was a hard headed alcoholic with an aversion for spirituality, and 'A.A.' was as religious as they come. The unfortunate part, besides my growing skepticism, was how skewed my thought process had become. Yes, A.A. had some serious complications, but so did my drinking. I guess that's why I remained in limbo for such a long time. There was only one question that baffled me from the very beginning, even though the path was rather convincing, and it's a question frequently asked among recovering alcoholics worldwide: What happens next? For me, the answer is pretty clear and it begins with step 1.
The part of step 1 that really got me thinking was the mystery surrounding the word "powerlessness". I still wonder, even today: 'How did alcohol get the best of me'? I guess the details were set in motion long before my undoing, who knows. Unfortunately, the inner debate still rages on even after many years sober. So for now Ill choose a better way of life, despite the occasional bump in the road. Besides, I put more trust in the process today than I do my own intuition, and for good reason. I'm an alcoholic, remember, and alcoholics tend to forget their past or their last drink, you choose. I haven't though, and the reason 'why' has more to do with recovery -via AA- than my own understanding. I was finally set free because of the AA fellowship -not to mention step 1, and for that I'm never at a loss for words. And so should you.
So my suggestion is quite simple, actually: Try not to question how you got here anymore, but rather 'what you should do next'. Sober living is our ultimate goal, but just like every gift it comes at a price. The price of freedom comes from knowing not questioning, and the same goes for our drinking. So I would try to disengage entirely from any train of thought that would question our alcoholism, again. That would be a 'must have' for me in the beginning. Id also forgo the branding as well and focus instead on 'what to do next'. I would bring to light any incident where alcohol caused me distress; and then ask myself how would this unfold differently if alcohol was not a factor? Then you'll know how important the first step really is. That's when we let go absolutely. If only we could scan the images of time, somehow, and conclude what 'not' to do this time around, that would certainly be ideal, wouldn't it? But its not always that easy. Clarity is the necessary glue that binds up the alcoholics ego, which in AA terms means letting go. Believe you me; its needed to make the first step complete. I hope you do, starting today. Well keep a seat warm, just in case. Onward.
~God Bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Wednesday 25th of June 2014 08:17:18 PM