I was was living a good life, living alone. Circumstances changed and i invited family members to move in. I DID THIS.
My my life is now very complicated and I am very unhappy.
My older son said my younger son's behaviors were because he was a dry drunk. I'm beginning to think beyond his other issues, that that might be correct. I've been Googling Dry drunk.
He's not really sober, he's a binge drinker. I forbid drinking in the house. He's had serious medical issues which is why he came home. So, he's not sober as much as not being allowed to drink at home.
Anyway, I'm old and have a busy, full life and hate walking on egg shells. The others have BP. IT's complicated, but I've worked with their BP for 20 years.
Anyway, I'm not used to being berated, put down, blamed for everything he doesn't like (he has a Masters degree) but can't complain enough that I'm negative. Yep, I've become downright negative.
I love him, but I'm not really up for his issues because we just keep circling that he wants me to change. I'm 65, his surgeries have healed. He needs to get a job and get out of my house. I'm selfish. I won't deny it. I spent 25 years putting my family's needs before my own. I was repaid for that by my husband walking out on me for a younger woman. I went back to school and last week I was promoted to associate professor. I teach a full load of college classes, advise students and serve on many boards serving as president of one. However, he can't criticize me enough and I don't want to spend my golden years like this.
Thanks for letting me vent.
MJ1112
hotrod said
Jun 2, 2014
Hi MJ, welcome to Miracles in Progress. I am glad that you reached out and connected and am sorry that you have encountered a problem of alcoholism in your family. Al-Anon is a fellowship of men and women who live or have lived with the problem of alcoholism and who share their experience strength and hope in order to grow, break the isolation and develop constructive new tools to live by. You have posted to a message board on the site that is set up to address the steps of the Al-Anon program. There is an active Al-Anon member board WHERE we post and share our thoughts and ask for suggestions SUPPORT EACH OTHER. Here is the website address;
I urge you to connect with this website and also search out Al-Anon face-to-face meetings in your community. The hotline number is listed in the white pages and I know that it can give you the relief and the understanding that you need and deserve at this time. Keep coming back there is hope
MJ1112 said
Jun 2, 2014
Thank you Betty for responding to me so quickly.
I'm not new to alcoholism. My mother, both my sisters and my son. My son has been an alcoholic for awhile. He didn't live at home and he didn't drink at home.
Now, he's been home for a year with three erupt urged discs that prevented him from even walking.
He's currently a Jeckyll/Hyde and scares me.
I'm a little afraid of face to face. I live in a tiny town and will not discuss these problems in front of people I work with. I know we're dealing with the same issues but there isn't any anonymity for me. That's why I want to work the program online if possible.
Thank you for the resources.
Mary Jane
MJ1112 said
Jun 2, 2014
Damn auto correct. My son had surgery on 3 ruptured discs.
MJ
hotrod said
Jun 2, 2014
MaryJane I do understand and would like to suggest that you access the web site address that I provided. It has a very active message Board , a 24 hour chat room and hosts 2 on line meetings a day. I am sure you will find the support that you really need.
It's complicated - isn't it always?
I was was living a good life, living alone. Circumstances changed and i invited family members to move in. I DID THIS.
My my life is now very complicated and I am very unhappy.
My older son said my younger son's behaviors were because he was a dry drunk. I'm beginning to think beyond his other issues, that that might be correct. I've been Googling Dry drunk.
He's not really sober, he's a binge drinker. I forbid drinking in the house. He's had serious medical issues which is why he came home. So, he's not sober as much as not being allowed to drink at home.
Anyway, I'm old and have a busy, full life and hate walking on egg shells. The others have BP. IT's complicated, but I've worked with their BP for 20 years.
Anyway, I'm not used to being berated, put down, blamed for everything he doesn't like (he has a Masters degree) but can't complain enough that I'm negative. Yep, I've become downright negative.
I love him, but I'm not really up for his issues because we just keep circling that he wants me to change. I'm 65, his surgeries have healed. He needs to get a job and get out of my house. I'm selfish. I won't deny it. I spent 25 years putting my family's needs before my own. I was repaid for that by my husband walking out on me for a younger woman. I went back to school and last week I was promoted to associate professor. I teach a full load of college classes, advise students and serve on many boards serving as president of one. However, he can't criticize me enough and I don't want to spend my golden years like this.
Thanks for letting me vent.
MJ1112
alanon.activeboard.com
I urge you to connect with this website and also search out Al-Anon face-to-face meetings in your community. The hotline number is listed in the white pages and I know that it can give you the relief and the understanding that you need and deserve at this time. Keep coming back there is hope
Thank you Betty for responding to me so quickly.
I'm not new to alcoholism. My mother, both my sisters and my son. My son has been an alcoholic for awhile. He didn't live at home and he didn't drink at home.
Now, he's been home for a year with three erupt urged discs that prevented him from even walking.
He's currently a Jeckyll/Hyde and scares me.
I'm a little afraid of face to face. I live in a tiny town and will not discuss these problems in front of people I work with. I know we're dealing with the same issues but there isn't any anonymity for me. That's why I want to work the program online if possible.
Thank you for the resources.
Mary Jane
Damn auto correct. My son had surgery on 3 ruptured discs.
MJ
Thanks Betty, I will.