My story in a nutshell (hopefully...LOL) as to why I am doing the steps...
Katrina324 said
Jan 17, 2015
I'm an almost 50 year old mom of two grown children and of two gorgeous grandchildren,
I was married very young to my "one and only" but it didn't last. We were 19, too young, I was clingy and insecure, he was short tempered and controlling. I remember him becoming very angry if he drank, but he never became an alcoholic, just young and testing waters. I divorced him at the age of 26.
My problems started then, I was lonely and wanted nothing more than to get married and swept away by my perfect man. Thankfully I have my career, I'm a registered nurse, and I also do photography for a hobby. Still, I dated, and dated, and had many failed relationships. Some with great guys that just were a bad fit, some with men with addictions or heavy baggage issues.
I've stayed single the whole time, have not lived with anyone for over 14 years. Back then, I almost married a man that I discovered was jailed for cocaine abuse, and also for fraud, forgery. (yikes) Cured me of wanting to live with anyone.....LOL
My last relationship, the man that I thought was the one I would marry again, blew me out of the water this past November with his hidden alcohol abuse. We didn't live together, and I saw signs but didn't "see" them or want to see them I suppose. Found out he was drinking.....a lot.....driving while drinking......going to events with me after having a few beforehand....you name it. He was always tired after work and falling asleep (passed out) if we had plans, telling me he was just napping and had a tough day. According to his family, the whole time I was seeing him, and I didn't realize it until I found him passed out a couple of times. On the surface, handsome, tall, intelligent, funny, hard working salesman at my car dealership. And convincing. So now he is in AA, much to the insistence of myself and his family, doing "damage" control.
I know this isn't about him, it's about me, my choices, going way back to when I divorced my ex husband. That is why I am here, to work on myself and letting go of the anger, guilt, and my need to control what my boyfriend does with his life. I've tried a local Al anon group and scared myself away, feeling as if going to Al anon meant that I had to stay in the relationship. I'm here to learn all that I can.
Thanks for listening.....Kat
-- Edited by Katrina324 on Saturday 17th of January 2015 02:02:55 PM
-- Edited by Katrina324 on Saturday 17th of January 2015 02:04:44 PM
hotrod said
Jan 17, 2015
I Katrina thank you for sharing your experience strength and hope. The steps are the key to recovery. Working them in conjunction with attending face-to-face or online meetings is really essential. If you're not comfortable attending Al-Anon meetings you can certainly hang out on this board post thoughts on the steps and also go on the main board and ask for assistance and clarity. You're not alone welcome
Katrina324 said
Jan 17, 2015
Thank you again Betty for your continued insight and support. You are a wise woman and I admire your strength through all that you have endured yourself.
Kat
I'm an almost 50 year old mom of two grown children and of two gorgeous grandchildren,
I was married very young to my "one and only" but it didn't last. We were 19, too young, I was clingy and insecure, he was short tempered and controlling. I remember him becoming very angry if he drank, but he never became an alcoholic, just young and testing waters. I divorced him at the age of 26.
My problems started then, I was lonely and wanted nothing more than to get married and swept away by my perfect man. Thankfully I have my career, I'm a registered nurse, and I also do photography for a hobby. Still, I dated, and dated, and had many failed relationships. Some with great guys that just were a bad fit, some with men with addictions or heavy baggage issues.
I've stayed single the whole time, have not lived with anyone for over 14 years. Back then, I almost married a man that I discovered was jailed for cocaine abuse, and also for fraud, forgery. (yikes) Cured me of wanting to live with anyone.....LOL
My last relationship, the man that I thought was the one I would marry again, blew me out of the water this past November with his hidden alcohol abuse. We didn't live together, and I saw signs but didn't "see" them or want to see them I suppose. Found out he was drinking.....a lot.....driving while drinking......going to events with me after having a few beforehand....you name it. He was always tired after work and falling asleep (passed out) if we had plans, telling me he was just napping and had a tough day. According to his family, the whole time I was seeing him, and I didn't realize it until I found him passed out a couple of times. On the surface, handsome, tall, intelligent, funny, hard working salesman at my car dealership. And convincing. So now he is in AA, much to the insistence of myself and his family, doing "damage" control.
I know this isn't about him, it's about me, my choices, going way back to when I divorced my ex husband. That is why I am here, to work on myself and letting go of the anger, guilt, and my need to control what my boyfriend does with his life. I've tried a local Al anon group and scared myself away, feeling as if going to Al anon meant that I had to stay in the relationship. I'm here to learn all that I can.
Thanks for listening.....Kat
-- Edited by Katrina324 on Saturday 17th of January 2015 02:02:55 PM
-- Edited by Katrina324 on Saturday 17th of January 2015 02:04:44 PM
Kat