The relatives of alcoholics when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves in Al-Anon family group, provided that as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
Thought from Daily Reader
Tradition three suggests that whenever we gather together as in an Al-Anon group we do so as peers for the purpose of helping each other. This spirit of cooperation and respect can also be used to develop further trust and love in other relationships.
My share
I honestly could not grasp how being with others who understood as no one else could would help me recover from the devastation of living with alcoholics. I was a loner and thought that I should be able to solve my problems alone.
This tradition points out that because of having lived with the disease of alcoholism we need to learn how to share openly and freely without fear of criticism or dominance. When learn to do this we can arrive more effectively at results rather than by working alone without the support of our peers. Outside influences would divert us from our primary aim and so it is really important that we have no other affiliation. When we walk into an Al-Anon room we should know that we are going there to recover from this disease and to share our thoughts and our lives in a supportive setting. We also understand that because of Al-Anons traditions no one will give us advice because there are no experts. The mutual aid we receive is because we are equals.
In the rooms we have an opportunity to create consistency and balance by staying focused on our own role in this common cause we are free to be ourselves and in turn extend the same to others.
Great Tradiiton
Tradition three questions:
How do I define the mutual aid?
How do I keep my focus on where I am avoiding distractions?
How can tradition three help me to find the common denominator in any circumstance?
In what ways can I apply the principle of mutual aid in my personal life?
How does tradition three help me to reach out to others when I need help to understand myself?
Skorpi said
Mar 7, 2015
My Share
I have been involved in various groups throughout my life, but did not feel like I got out of the group what I put into it. When I was lonely or afraid, or needed more support, I would put in more time, and end up feeling more alone and more used. Alanon has not been like that for me. Maybe because, in Alanon, we are focused on helping ourselves while we help each other. I find that the more I give the group, the more I get, and the stronger I become. And, the more times I hear from other members that they have experienced similar situations, the less isolated and alone I feel.
Tradition three questions:
How do I define the mutual aid?
Mutual aid is, for me, knowing that I can reach out when I know that I need help, and that, whether things are going well or not, I have a responsibility to other members of the group. Sometimes, I can share a similar experience from my life that might be helpful, and sometimes, I can just say that I am listening and here, and that we are not alone in this group. Both contributions are equally valuable and important.
How do I keep my focus on where I am avoiding distractions?
For me, I need to come back to Alanon every day, or I lose focus. I need to take time to be alone, and to be quiet, and to listen to myself. I also need to take time each day to walk my pups and make them feel secure. For me, dog walking and dog training are great releases because, for my dogs, if I do a really bad job one day, I get to start again the next day, and they are happy to go along with my fresh start and the better version of myself. They also remind me to live in the present.
How can tradition three help me to find the common denominator in any circumstance?
Tradition three stresses for me that each individual is a human being, and by keeping this in mind, I am better able to stay calm and focused.
In what ways can I apply the principle of mutual aid in my personal life?
I need to reach out more and connect with people more often in my personal life. Generally speaking, treating each person I encounter as a worthwhile human being and someone worthy of my time and respect leads to positive and affirming conversations and encounters. If I think about driving for a second: if someone pulls out in front of me, it is a bit of a stressful situation, since the brakes on the 20 year old truck do not respond as quickly as a newer vehicles would. First, I slam on the brakes and get ready to veer right. My second option is how I respond to the driver of the other car. There is the road rage option, or the option of taking a moment, and then carrying on with my day. Road rage leads to a confrontation, while my taking a moment and moving on lets me avoid confrontation and negativity, and focus instead on how happy I am that the truck slowed down in time. And, this moment doesn't assume (like road rage would) that the driver pulled out in front of me on purpose. Maybe the other driver is on the way to an emergency of some sort. Maybe the other driver misjudged how close I was and feel bad about the situation. Compassionate understanding in difficult situations is one of the things the third tradition teaches me.
How does tradition three help me to reach out to others when I need help to understand myself?
Tradition three helps me understand that I am not alone, and that reaching out to others helps me while it helps the people I am reaching out to. It also carries the promise that I will experience support and compassionate understanding, not judgement, when I reach out.
hotrod said
Mar 7, 2015
Skorpi Thanks for your thoughts on Traditions 3. Your clarity of thought, and honsety are a vital part of recovery.Thanks for taking the time to participate on this Board.
I found that understanding the traditions and incorporating them into my life along with the Steps helped my recoery.
Tradition three
The relatives of alcoholics when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves in Al-Anon family group, provided that as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
Thought from Daily Reader
Tradition three suggests that whenever we gather together as in an Al-Anon group we do so as peers for the purpose of helping each other. This spirit of cooperation and respect can also be used to develop further trust and love in other relationships.
My share
I honestly could not grasp how being with others who understood as no one else could would help me recover from the devastation of living with alcoholics. I was a loner and thought that I should be able to solve my problems alone.
This tradition points out that because of having lived with the disease of alcoholism we need to learn how to share openly and freely without fear of criticism or dominance. When learn to do this we can arrive more effectively at results rather than by working alone without the support of our peers. Outside influences would divert us from our primary aim and so it is really important that we have no other affiliation. When we walk into an Al-Anon room we should know that we are going there to recover from this disease and to share our thoughts and our lives in a supportive setting. We also understand that because of Al-Anons traditions no one will give us advice because there are no experts. The mutual aid we receive is because we are equals.
In the rooms we have an opportunity to create consistency and balance by staying focused on our own role in this common cause we are free to be ourselves and in turn extend the same to others.
Great Tradiiton
Tradition three questions:
How do I define the mutual aid?
How do I keep my focus on where I am avoiding distractions?
How can tradition three help me to find the common denominator in any circumstance?
In what ways can I apply the principle of mutual aid in my personal life?
How does tradition three help me to reach out to others when I need help to understand myself?
I have been involved in various groups throughout my life, but did not feel like I got out of the group what I put into it. When I was lonely or afraid, or needed more support, I would put in more time, and end up feeling more alone and more used. Alanon has not been like that for me. Maybe because, in Alanon, we are focused on helping ourselves while we help each other. I find that the more I give the group, the more I get, and the stronger I become. And, the more times I hear from other members that they have experienced similar situations, the less isolated and alone I feel.
Tradition three questions:
How do I define the mutual aid?
Mutual aid is, for me, knowing that I can reach out when I know that I need help, and that, whether things are going well or not, I have a responsibility to other members of the group. Sometimes, I can share a similar experience from my life that might be helpful, and sometimes, I can just say that I am listening and here, and that we are not alone in this group. Both contributions are equally valuable and important.
How do I keep my focus on where I am avoiding distractions?
For me, I need to come back to Alanon every day, or I lose focus. I need to take time to be alone, and to be quiet, and to listen to myself. I also need to take time each day to walk my pups and make them feel secure. For me, dog walking and dog training are great releases because, for my dogs, if I do a really bad job one day, I get to start again the next day, and they are happy to go along with my fresh start and the better version of myself. They also remind me to live in the present.
How can tradition three help me to find the common denominator in any circumstance?
Tradition three stresses for me that each individual is a human being, and by keeping this in mind, I am better able to stay calm and focused.
In what ways can I apply the principle of mutual aid in my personal life?
I need to reach out more and connect with people more often in my personal life. Generally speaking, treating each person I encounter as a worthwhile human being and someone worthy of my time and respect leads to positive and affirming conversations and encounters. If I think about driving for a second: if someone pulls out in front of me, it is a bit of a stressful situation, since the brakes on the 20 year old truck do not respond as quickly as a newer vehicles would. First, I slam on the brakes and get ready to veer right. My second option is how I respond to the driver of the other car. There is the road rage option, or the option of taking a moment, and then carrying on with my day. Road rage leads to a confrontation, while my taking a moment and moving on lets me avoid confrontation and negativity, and focus instead on how happy I am that the truck slowed down in time. And, this moment doesn't assume (like road rage would) that the driver pulled out in front of me on purpose. Maybe the other driver is on the way to an emergency of some sort. Maybe the other driver misjudged how close I was and feel bad about the situation. Compassionate understanding in difficult situations is one of the things the third tradition teaches me.
How does tradition three help me to reach out to others when I need help to understand myself?
Tradition three helps me understand that I am not alone, and that reaching out to others helps me while it helps the people I am reaching out to. It also carries the promise that I will experience support and compassionate understanding, not judgement, when I reach out.
I found that understanding the traditions and incorporating them into my life along with the Steps helped my recoery.
Great share.