Our groups as such should never be organized but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
C2C page 291
As newcomers many of us were surprised by the absence of rules in Al-Anon. Before we found recovery from the effects of alcoholism a strict sense of order may have been our only way to feel safe. As a newcomer I was told that I was free to work the steps at my own pace. I could ask questions or anyone as they came up and no one was in charge and yet everyone was in charge.
It seemed impossible but I could see it working more effectively than any organization I have been involved in. The quote is if I take on service responsibilities in my group it does not mean that I now run the show today I will remember that the ultimate authority is a HP who works through all of us
My Share
I always in all of the wisdom expressed in each and every tradition. Tradition Nine is no exception. It clearly defines the hierarchy in each group and states that the service boards and committees are directly responsible to those they serve. Defining this responsibility is extremely important so as we clearly understand that this is a fellowship of equals and that there are no leaders-- only trusted servants directly responsible to those they serve. The members do not serve the leaders but the leaders serve the members. How great is that? The founders certainly understood what was necessary to recover from living with the disease of alcoholism.
Tradition Nine Questions
How does Tradition Nine remind me to give others the dignity to do a task without my interference?
What benefits do I and others receive when we treat each other as equals?
How can applying Tradition Nine help me to delegate duties and responsibilities to others?
How can I be a resource instead of forcing my ideas and ways of doing things and others? Where my accountable to those I serve?
How does letting go of rigid rules benefit me?
Skorpi said
May 22, 2015
My Share: I have identified myself as a control freak. This works well at work, where I am elected or selected leader quite often. And, being aware of my control freak tendencies, I delegate as much and whenever possible. BUT, when something doesn't get done, I do it. I feel like I have made great steps toward asking people to take responsibility for things, but I am not great at enforcing this. (We could be talking about my marriage as well. I ask for the dishes to be done, or the laundry to be in the hamper, but if it isn't done, I just do it myself.) I need to work on trusting that if I do not do something, if I am not the back-up plan, that someone else will step up and follow through.
Questions:
How does Tradition Nine remind me to give others the dignity to do a task without my interference?
Tradition 9 reminds me that I am not the only one with an investment and responsibility to the group, and that by acting as the back-up plan, I am actually preventing others from stepping forward and taking responsibility.
What benefits do I and others receive when we treat each other as equals?
We are more creative, more collaborative, we think outside the box, and we make more progress when more ideas are on the table. It also helps to allow other to shoulder part of the responsibility. It means that we can sit back and enjoy the group without worrying about it sometimes.
How can applying Tradition Nine help me to delegate duties and responsibilities to others?
Tradition 9 reminds me that others WANT to participate as well, and that they WANT their contributions to be important. Stepping in and interfering allows their contributions to be diminished in value.
How can I be a resource instead of forcing my ideas and ways of doing things and others? Where my accountable to those I serve?
Allowing others to speak, asking others to step in and take care of something. Leading together to me means leading through listening and facilitation. Summarizing, and adding details that I think are important. It doesn't mean bending people to my will. It does mean that I find the points of commonality and success and highlight them, so they can be expanded upon.
How does letting go of rigid rules benefit me?
Rigid rules lead to disappointment. Accepting things as they are and allowing for things to change with circumstances allows me to function with reduced stress no matter what I am doing.
hotrod said
May 22, 2015
Thanks for sharing your wisdom and experience with this Tradition Skorpi.
I appreciate your honesty and clarity when working ths program That is how it works and I have found that implementing the prinicples of the Traditionss are a great aid to my recovery
ryanhearted said
May 23, 2015
How does Tradition Nine remind me to give others the dignity to do a task without my interference?
What a great tradition this one is. And hard for me.I really struggle with letting others do a task, as I get impatient. But I wonder if I also just do not trust them to do it. But by remembering that we create servicedirectly responsible to those they serve is important for me to remember.I forget that way too often. And I can apply that to my family as well as work. Obviously this is something I can work on.
What benefits do I, and others receive when we treat each other as equals?
The benefits are almost immeasurable. For one, by allowing others to be on an equal, level playing field, it releases me from being the monitor. It releases me from being demanding and regulating, etc. And, it lets me off the hook. I should be able to expect adult behavior from my husband, as well as colleagues who are in the position that they are in. The sense of accomplishment comes to all when allowed to do what needs to be done, and the relief, lack of stress of having to do it all for myself when I let go.
How can applying Tradition Nine help me to delegate duties and responsibilities to others?
By allowing me to let go and give responsibility to those who are capable of having it, it frees me up to focus on other things that are important for me. It allows me to be successful as me. I dont need to micromanage, and I do it way too much still. There must always be supervision, and the ability to step in and help as needed, but letting others reach out, versus micromanaging and stepping in and taking over is demeaning and not allowing for growth for all.
How can I be a resource instead of forcing my ideas and ways of doing things and others? Where my accountable to those I serve?
When I explain things ahead of time, then step back while being accessible, that allows me to let others grow. If I do a good job explaining my desires, then give the ways to achieve it, even if it is not done my way, it allows for others to grow and feel the sense of accomplishment. And I benefit, from allowing others to grow and do, and relieving myself of everything. An example that comes to mind is just as simple as asking my daughter to unload the dishwasher. She cannot reach certain places to put glasses. I usually ask her to unload it while I am making dinner. This allows me to be accessible, and yet lets her do it and achieve that sense of accomplishment. Then, she asks for my help for the higher shelve items. We both benefit, because I am not doing everything and she is feeling as though she is contributing. It is a win-win. But, I also have to let her put things in their place, even if it may not be straight, or perfect, lol. I am a bit OCD. Its all good.
How does letting go of rigid rules benefit me?
I think a lot of what I wrote in the last paragraph answers this one. Letting go allows me the freedom and allows me to learn to trust again.
hotrod said
May 23, 2015
Dear Lisa Thank you for sharing your process and wisdom regarding this Tradition. The traditions did help me as much as the steps in finding my way and letting go of destructive behavior.
Thank you once a gain for your important input.
Tradition Nine
Our groups as such should never be organized but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
C2C page 291
As newcomers many of us were surprised by the absence of rules in Al-Anon. Before we found recovery from the effects of alcoholism a strict sense of order may have been our only way to feel safe. As a newcomer I was told that I was free to work the steps at my own pace. I could ask questions or anyone as they came up and no one was in charge and yet everyone was in charge.
It seemed impossible but I could see it working more effectively than any organization I have been involved in. The quote is if I take on service responsibilities in my group it does not mean that I now run the show today I will remember that the ultimate authority is a HP who works through all of us
My Share
I always in all of the wisdom expressed in each and every tradition. Tradition Nine is no exception. It clearly defines the hierarchy in each group and states that the service boards and committees are directly responsible to those they serve. Defining this responsibility is extremely important so as we clearly understand that this is a fellowship of equals and that there are no leaders-- only trusted servants directly responsible to those they serve. The members do not serve the leaders but the leaders serve the members. How great is that? The founders certainly understood what was necessary to recover from living with the disease of alcoholism.
Tradition Nine Questions
How does Tradition Nine remind me to give others the dignity to do a task without my interference?
What benefits do I and others receive when we treat each other as equals?
How can applying Tradition Nine help me to delegate duties and responsibilities to others?
How can I be a resource instead of forcing my ideas and ways of doing things and others? Where my accountable to those I serve?
How does letting go of rigid rules benefit me?
Questions:
How does Tradition Nine remind me to give others the dignity to do a task without my interference?
Tradition 9 reminds me that I am not the only one with an investment and responsibility to the group, and that by acting as the back-up plan, I am actually preventing others from stepping forward and taking responsibility.
What benefits do I and others receive when we treat each other as equals?
We are more creative, more collaborative, we think outside the box, and we make more progress when more ideas are on the table. It also helps to allow other to shoulder part of the responsibility. It means that we can sit back and enjoy the group without worrying about it sometimes.
How can applying Tradition Nine help me to delegate duties and responsibilities to others?
Tradition 9 reminds me that others WANT to participate as well, and that they WANT their contributions to be important. Stepping in and interfering allows their contributions to be diminished in value.
How can I be a resource instead of forcing my ideas and ways of doing things and others? Where my accountable to those I serve?
Allowing others to speak, asking others to step in and take care of something. Leading together to me means leading through listening and facilitation. Summarizing, and adding details that I think are important. It doesn't mean bending people to my will. It does mean that I find the points of commonality and success and highlight them, so they can be expanded upon.
How does letting go of rigid rules benefit me?
Rigid rules lead to disappointment. Accepting things as they are and allowing for things to change with circumstances allows me to function with reduced stress no matter what I am doing.
I appreciate your honesty and clarity when working ths program That is how it works and I have found that implementing the prinicples of the Traditionss are a great aid to my recovery
How does Tradition Nine remind me to give others the dignity to do a task without my interference?
What a great tradition this one is. And hard for me. I really struggle with letting others do a task, as I get impatient. But I wonder if I also just do not trust them to do it. But by remembering that we create servicedirectly responsible to those they serve is important for me to remember. I forget that way too often. And I can apply that to my family as well as work. Obviously this is something I can work on.
What benefits do I, and others receive when we treat each other as equals?
The benefits are almost immeasurable. For one, by allowing others to be on an equal, level playing field, it releases me from being the monitor. It releases me from being demanding and regulating, etc. And, it lets me off the hook. I should be able to expect adult behavior from my husband, as well as colleagues who are in the position that they are in. The sense of accomplishment comes to all when allowed to do what needs to be done, and the relief, lack of stress of having to do it all for myself when I let go.
How can applying Tradition Nine help me to delegate duties and responsibilities to others?
By allowing me to let go and give responsibility to those who are capable of having it, it frees me up to focus on other things that are important for me. It allows me to be successful as me. I dont need to micromanage, and I do it way too much still. There must always be supervision, and the ability to step in and help as needed, but letting others reach out, versus micromanaging and stepping in and taking over is demeaning and not allowing for growth for all.
How can I be a resource instead of forcing my ideas and ways of doing things and others? Where my accountable to those I serve?
When I explain things ahead of time, then step back while being accessible, that allows me to let others grow. If I do a good job explaining my desires, then give the ways to achieve it, even if it is not done my way, it allows for others to grow and feel the sense of accomplishment. And I benefit, from allowing others to grow and do, and relieving myself of everything. An example that comes to mind is just as simple as asking my daughter to unload the dishwasher. She cannot reach certain places to put glasses. I usually ask her to unload it while I am making dinner. This allows me to be accessible, and yet lets her do it and achieve that sense of accomplishment. Then, she asks for my help for the higher shelve items. We both benefit, because I am not doing everything and she is feeling as though she is contributing. It is a win-win. But, I also have to let her put things in their place, even if it may not be straight, or perfect, lol. I am a bit OCD. Its all good.
How does letting go of rigid rules benefit me?
I think a lot of what I wrote in the last paragraph answers this one. Letting go allows me the freedom and allows me to learn to trust again.
Thank you once a gain for your important input.