I find that as I work the steps, I keep going back to the basics.  I have to keep starting with step one.  I think I have step one down and then realize that step one is an everyday struggle for me.  How can I move on to other steps when I have trouble Letting Go and turning things over to my HP?  I keep telling myself and everyone else that I am powerless over my husband and his addiction, but continue to find myself trying to control him.  I try to detach with love and then on payday I find myself calling him 30 times to make sure he's going to come home with his paycheck.  I have trouble letting go of expectations.  I think it is because in a marriage or any type of relationships, you have certain expectations of your partner.  If you can't depend on them to meet your needs, what is the point in continuing a marriage/relationship with them?

Hi Powerless - I feel the first 3 Steps are my basics for everyday. I can't - He can - I think I'll let Him. I too strugled with the 3rd Step until an AA friend suggested I use the 3rd Step prayer in the AA Big Book. Once I did that I should go on to the action Steps (4 - 9). These are the Steps where I started making changes in myself. I began to change my expectations for myself and try to accept myself where I am today. This also meant trying to accept the a where he was that day (not easy!!) Each morning I ask for another day of serenity which means I need to let go of all persons other than myself and leave them to their own Higher Power. It doesn't always work but I can make amends and start over at anytime. Love and hugs - Dot

-- Edited by dot at 19:14, 2006-03-10