3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.
This is a key moment. You have a choice to make. Do you start believing the Universe is not antagonistic toward you and will take care of you if you just get out of your own way? Or do you keep trying to do it all yourself, fight it yourself, rely solely on yourself. You're in a trap, but, like with many traps, struggling against it is what keeps you trapped. Will you choose freedom? I hope you will.
mewsician said
Feb 26, 2016
Over many years of marriage to a binge-drinker, turning AH, I became ever-more suspicious, fearful, controlling and Stuck! I made myself believe I somehow deserved a less than happy life, and that God wanted me to "suck it up" and keep my nose to the Grindstone. A cascade of powerful life events took me down to till I thought I was drowning. Luckily, Jesus whispered in my ear. He told me to check out some Christian TV channels. Every morning I got up early and listened to the messages of various preachers. I cried and cried, realizing how I'd lost myself, how desperate and dis-heartened I was, and wondering if & how I could get myself back. Somehow, in all my life I'd never been introduced to the subject of Alcoholism, and knew NOTHING about it. I began searching on my PC, found some helpful blogs, and somehow stumbled onto the local Alanon website. Once I knew there were live meetings that I could attend, I knew I had to get to some, and find out how to make myself feel better. I was strongly co-dependent, and it took a few weeks for me to un-guilt myself enough to attend that first meeting, but I needed to share my feelings SO badly! I was Amazed that others had feelings and experiences so similar to mine! It felt like a Magic door had opened for me! I'd go to meetings every day if I could, but I live in a rural area, so I'm thrilled to add this Online site to my tools. I've been soaking up the learning like a sponge, devouring the literature, and the 12 Steps are also Magical to me. It's interesting how you phrase that: " like many traps, struggling against it is what keeps you trapped". I'm just beginning to see how over time, I've knotted myself up like a pretzel! I wanted to blame my AH, but I now see clearly that I've done this to myself! My wounded inner child does the same things over and over, though it never get's a better result! I Must and I Will get Free of my Self bondage, and if I can do that, then I can free myself from other bondages and avoid more bondage in the future. As a blessed and beloved child of God, I MUST be happy and free to become my Best self, so I can reflect his love and message to others. I deserve it and so does he!
3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.
This is a key moment. You have a choice to make. Do you start believing the Universe is not antagonistic toward you and will take care of you if you just get out of your own way? Or do you keep trying to do it all yourself, fight it yourself, rely solely on yourself. You're in a trap, but, like with many traps, struggling against it is what keeps you trapped. Will you choose freedom? I hope you will.
Over many years of marriage to a binge-drinker, turning AH, I became ever-more suspicious, fearful, controlling and Stuck! I made myself believe I somehow deserved a less than happy life, and that God wanted me to "suck it up" and keep my nose to the Grindstone. A cascade of powerful life events took me down to till I thought I was drowning. Luckily, Jesus whispered in my ear. He told me to check out some Christian TV channels. Every morning I got up early and listened to the messages of various preachers. I cried and cried, realizing how I'd lost myself, how desperate and dis-heartened I was, and wondering if & how I could get myself back. Somehow, in all my life I'd never been introduced to the subject of Alcoholism, and knew NOTHING about it. I began searching on my PC, found some helpful blogs, and somehow stumbled onto the local Alanon website. Once I knew there were live meetings that I could attend, I knew I had to get to some, and find out how to make myself feel better. I was strongly co-dependent, and it took a few weeks for me to un-guilt myself enough to attend that first meeting, but I needed to share my feelings SO badly! I was Amazed that others had feelings and experiences so similar to mine! It felt like a Magic door had opened for me! I'd go to meetings every day if I could, but I live in a rural area, so I'm thrilled to add this Online site to my tools. I've been soaking up the learning like a sponge, devouring the literature, and the 12 Steps are also Magical to me. It's interesting how you phrase that: " like many traps, struggling against it is what keeps you trapped". I'm just beginning to see how over time, I've knotted myself up like a pretzel! I wanted to blame my AH, but I now see clearly that I've done this to myself! My wounded inner child does the same things over and over, though it never get's a better result! I Must and I Will get Free of my Self bondage, and if I can do that, then I can free myself from other bondages and avoid more bondage in the future. As a blessed and beloved child of God, I MUST be happy and free to become my Best self, so I can reflect his love and message to others. I deserve it and so does he!