Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
C2C page 307 the journey towards a Higher Power has been so gradual for me that I have been unaware of much of it. There has been no burst of light,no burning bush- just a gradual clearing of the thoughts that I lived in before recovery in Al-Anon. Acknowledging this process helps me when I'm impatient with the twists and turns of life
My Share
This is indeed a powerful step and one I did not take lightly. I did have difficulty with the God of my understanding, so that I substituted the principles of the Al-Anon program and the tools of the program as my understanding of a Higher Power. I saw how they worked and was willing to believe they could restore me to sanity as well. Attending meetings, working with the slogans, examining my motives, all helped me to believe that I could be restored to sanity. As long as I kept showing up.
Today after many meetings and much prayer and meditation, I have found a God of my understanding and have complete faith in that Power. I found that my disappointment with the God of my childhood came about because I prayed continually for "my will" to be done and that is not how the Universe works Today I have an Acceptance and can pray for courage, serenity and wisdom and trust HP with the rest.
STEP 2 QUESTIONS
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
shoofoolatte said
Sep 18, 2016
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
Life Itself. I can look at the sky, and know that it is much bigger than me. The Nature that is all around me, that encompasses me, is definitely a lot bigger than me. I am just a small part of something much bigger than me. I call it "Life Itself".
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
I don't know. I guess if I had a vision or major miracle, I might be induced to change my concept. But I'm not inclined to go back to a childhood notion of an old man in the sky who is watching over (and judging) all things happening. I tend toward thinking of this Higher Power as being implicit in everything that is happening. Part of the show, not an observer or granter of favors.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
I've been a doubter/skeptic of fundamental religious concepts since my late teenage years. I've gone through phases where I've called myself an agnostic and an atheist. I've dabbled around in Eastern Spiritual practices. At this point I can see that my own ego is still a (the) problem, even in all of my searchings.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
I want to find a humble (and simple) way of dealing with myself and my relationships. An open door. An insight. A way to live without always tripping over my ego agenda. A freedom from negativity and dead end behaviors. A spaciousness inside myself that is not bound up in resentment.
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
Breathing? Taking a walk. Swimming (which is a form of meditation for me). Finding this "recovery" board. Tomorrow I will go to my 2nd meeting.
The person who has helped me believe the most in the (my) future is a young man (42 yeas old now) who has been in prison for 23 years. I have known him since he was 5 years old, and at the age of 18 he was sentenced to Life in Prison for taking part in a robbery that ended in someone dying (he had nothing to do with the robbery or the murder, but that is all another story). I visited him in prison yesterday, and despite the outrageous injustice that has been done to him, he has chosen to be positive, to find the good in every person, to be a blessing to his family and all those around him. He has done an immense amount of inner work on himself, and in some strange way he is now "free" - much free-er than many outside of prison. He sees and lives in a great deal of insanity, codependency, blame and shame, and yet he has somehow found his way to a free, grateful, and even joyous way of being. His mother says that he is somehow protected by a bubble of grace. To me, he is obviously very graced and has been given a great spiritual gift.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
I know that sanity has nothing to do with how I figure things out. Always knowing how things should be is a major part of my insanity.
hotrod said
Sep 18, 2016
Hi shoofoolatte, Thank you for taking the time to ponder this Step and to share your powerful ESH with MIP
Keep coming back.
shoofoolatte said
Sep 18, 2016
Thanks Betty. Simple question: What is ESH and MIP?
hotrod said
Sep 19, 2016
Thanks Freetime looking forward to your finished followup. I too love this Step
shoofoolatte said
Sep 19, 2016
Thanks FreeTime for explaining ESH and MIP. I like the simplicity of your answers to the questions. Helps me a lot because I tend to over-intellectualize things. Thank you. This step feels like HOPE to me. In fact, the first 3 steps are starting to feel like 1 Faith, 2 Hope, and 3 Love to me.
Calm Lady said
Sep 19, 2016
My concept of HP is good orderly direction. A strong sense order. So life flowing along naturally instead of pushing against the tide. I trust that I just need to keep doing the next right thing and it will all fall into place.
I find great comfort and strength with my HP as it is. Don't feel a need to change it.
As I have started to live alongside my HP of good orderly direction, my life has because far less stressful. Far less fearful. I have trust now. That things will go well. Often better than just well. In trust the flow of life.
-- Edited by Calm Lady on Monday 19th of September 2016 06:45:08 PM
Calm Lady said
Sep 19, 2016
What I gain from my HP is a sense of relief. That i am not carrying the world on my shoulders. That my boundaries are firm and supported by my HP. That things will go right. That i am not alone.
I benefit from my meetings, reading Al-anon literature, layering to Al-anon shares on you tube. This sets of little light bulbs of understanding and relief.
I had no idea how insane I was until I had been working the program for quite a while. I thought it was everyone else! Now I have awareness and act in a sane calm way. I remove myself from people acting insanely. I no longer get dragged in.
e_i_m said
Sep 19, 2016
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
My concept of a HP is "love" -- it's vague and I don't feel it all the time.
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
It would be easy, I think, for my concept of a HP to change. I don't have a very fixed concept of HP, but am very open to that. I would like to feel more HP; I would like to let go more and trust and surrender. I'm praying to achieve that.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
When I first entered al-anon about 8 years ago, I didn't feel any sense of HP/God. I had a spiritual awakening in al-anon and felt it very strongly. Then I stopped going to al-anon (no alcoholics in my life, things were good, my job changed) and slowly I lost all sense of HP. So going to al-anon regularly gave me a sense of HP and I'm hoping that keeping going now will restore it.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
To give up the absurd sense of control that I have and the anxiety and stress that goes along with that. I want to stop feeling in charge of everything and just surrender into the flow of life! I am a massive control freak and I just want to let go and let god, and it's so hard right now!
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
Reading recovery literature, going to meetings, listening to speakers, doing service, helping others (in my regular job, which is in the helping professions), being in nature, hanging out with my pets, riding a horse, and looking back on the past and knowing that things always work out a-okay.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
Well, I didn't think I was insane before, but I now recognize a lot of non-sane behaviors and attitudes I have. I know that if I could let go, everything would be fine. I am *willing* to let go, but I need more tools to actually make it happen, I guess.
hotrod said
Sep 20, 2016
Freeetime, calmlady, and E I M, thank you each for sharing your thoughts on this important step. I salute your honesty in describing your Spiritual Journey so far. I can identify with each of you and know that others who read this Board will appreciate your views.
Glad that we are walking this path together .
Calm Lady said
Sep 20, 2016
I am glad too, Betty. Thank you for being here and all your service.
I very much feel that I want to work through the Steps as I suspect I am still carrying some buried pain, shame, guilt and anger. I would like to clean this out by bringing it to the surface by honest working of the Steps.
I have being doing recovery work for about six years but never formally worked through the Steps. The time is overdue. I have changed and let go of a lot already. I am very grateful for that.
I would like to be a light hearted lady with a clean heart and soul.
Thank you everyone.
I was saying to a friend yesterday the biggest biggest biggest help for me was learning to mind my own business. That phrase makes my heart sing. To me, it is freedom.
-- Edited by Calm Lady on Tuesday 20th of September 2016 06:59:36 AM
-- Edited by Calm Lady on Tuesday 20th of September 2016 06:59:58 AM
hotrod said
Sep 21, 2016
I agree learning how to stay in my own hula hoop was a true gift MYOB is a teric slogan and works well
jocelgp said
Sep 21, 2016
As I reflect on Step 2 and the guide questions, I realized that I have always believed in that "power" and it has always been God as I knew him from the start of my consciousness. He is always a Loving God in the purest meaning of LOVE, He is more than a concept to me, it is Faith, there's no logic and there's no reason. I grew up in the Catholic faith and never had any major contradictions in my faith in God and in my religion, perhaps luckily brought up. As other Catholics I accept ecumenism, and accept my brothers and sisters in the different walks of faith. I believe in the UNIVERSAL TRUTH which is GOD, and that God's essence is present in both Christians, non-Christians and non-believers.
I was led to Al-anon in my search for help and as I reflect on this, here is my share:
I have stopped posting in the message board for a while and am inclined not to post on impulse. I find myself more confused as I do so. I continue to read and "listen" to the shares, I then "listen" to myself, and then I kept silent without any reaction, not agreeing nor contradicting. Then I make reflections. I realized that what I read and heard from the others are TRUE, they are true for them, it is their truth. I also realized that some of their truth are also my truth. I have to listen to my truth as unique to me, it may be similar but not exactly the same. I would pick up life lessons and learning experiences from others, I apply it to myself as I see them applicable. As they say experience is the best teacher, it may be your own or of others. As any other learning process, sometimes you perfect it, sometimes not. And then you go on with life, still learning. As in schooling, you go to the next level when you passed one, never ending. Life is a learning process, you graduate when life ends. I can only say decisions and actions has its consequences, who is to judge. Who can tell what could have happened if I choose one over the other, not even I can exactly tell. I have to be gentle to myself that whatever it is, I did it out of my best knowledge, best effort and best hopes. The outcome is always beyond me, result could be failure, success or mediocre. It doesn't matter how others perceive my situation or what they think I should do. All I know is that as long as I'm completely honest and open to myself, I hold within me the truth, and I can always act based on my own truth. And that there is "something" in me that I could not explain. It is in me, but it is not me, I truly believe it is GOD.
hotrod said
Sep 21, 2016
Hello jocelgp Thank you fro taking the time to revisit this topic and share your deeper wisdom. Alanon is a powerful program (as you have found) l hear that you are now "Listening to Learn" and that is indeed great growth.
Please do keep coming back.
serenity47 said
Sep 23, 2016
Hi all. I have decided to go back to step two and repeat it as I feel I have gotten off track.
1. My concept of a higher power: An all encompassing spirit whom is looking after me and all of humanity, he shows himself through friends, pets, nature, and experiences.
2. What would it take to allow my concept to change? I'm not sure that I want it to change, but look forward to my understanding and acceptance of hp growing and working in my life. I do want my thoughts of his will being the focus not my will.
3. Have experiences affected my concept? Absolutely! Since I have been making a focused effort to be in contact with my hp I have experienced many situations that can only be hp at work. Some may call it coincidences. I know when I surrender and hand over control to my hp, something changes and I find some peace. The minute I snatch back control I am unbalanced again.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of HP: I want peace and to know that life will unfold how it is meant to be and that I can survive the storm no matter what happens as long as I have hp by my side.
5. Activities that bring me hope: Nature, helping others, reading literature, meetings, speaker tapes, meditation.
6. How have my ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity? First of all accepting life on lifes terms instead of always trying to force my will. Accepting that I am only responsible for me not everyone else, especially my children. They have their own will and destiny and I have mine.
hotrod said
Sep 24, 2016
Great responses and effort Serenity I am glad that you took the effort to post your thoughtand ourge you to please keep on keeping on.
tiredofthis said
Sep 26, 2016
When I first did the stepwork with my sponsor, I was asked "Do you believe that there is a power greater than you? Can that power restore you to sanity?" I replied "yes" and "yes". My sponsor said "Step 2, done."
I decided to take a bit more time and answer the questions this time, per hotrod's response to my step one post, that this is a daily activity.
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
My concept of a Higher Power is God in heaven. He is, was, and always will be my source of hope and strength. I have never struggled with the "who" of my Higher Power, but step 3 - His will and not mine - has been a struggle at times. I guess, to be honest, sometimes I act like God and therefore, I guess I am ashamed to say, that sometimes I thought of myself as my HP.
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
As someone said above, I am not interested in my concept of my HP changing, except for me to grow more deeply dependent in my relationship with Him. I have experienced true healing miracles in my own life and in others' lives. I know beyond doubt, for me, that there is a God in heaven (or heaven on earth) that loves me and wants what He knows is best for me.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
As above, I have had experiences which just confirmed what I have always known about my God. He has answered my prayers or taught me by delaying the answers in His time. I learn more about Him every day.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself? I do hope to gain greater serenity and sanity and freedom in the knowledge that God knows what He's doing. Everyone has a HP and "I" am not it.
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
Going to meetings, especially here, has been helpful to me and brings me insight and hope. I enjoy reading others' esh, especially those with years in the program. My own prayer life and reading and listening to scripture are the things that help me the most. I read a lot of healing literature and it has been especially helpful. Maybe not the right alanon answer, but it works for me.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
I think the answer is really what it means to be restored to serenity. Yes, there were times that I felt insane, when my AH's response to me led me to question myself and what was "normal" (whatever that is.) But thanks to my HP I was mostly able to maintain what I thought was sanity. But not serenity. Not a feeling of calm in the storm. Not a confidence that all would be alright in time. That is what I seek. That He is with me always, in the midst of troubles (and there are still troubles despite my AH 9 1/2 months in the program). But I am thankful to God because I know He hears me.
hotrod said
Sep 26, 2016
Dear TiredofThis I smiled at your sponsor's quick and to the point " Second Step process" It was quite simple and direct.
I think that taking the time to answer the questions, as you have done, simply helps to reinforce that faith in a Higher Power and reestablishes our belief that we can be restored to sanity .
Good work in taking the time.
Emma123 said
Sep 29, 2016
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
A higher intelligence, a power greater than myself
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
My concept of a HP is quite open at the moment. I hope my connection to HP will deepen. That I will let go and surrender more.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
I think the difficult experiences I have had in recent years have lead me to spirituality. Alone, I couldn't cope. I discovered I cannot think my way to inner peace. Meditation and reading spiritual literature have helped me open to HP.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
Inner peace. Serenity.
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
Reading spiritual literature, meditation, spending time in nature, Al Anon meetings.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
Yes, I now see that the sanity is allowing other people to be on their own journeys. Not to try to change and fix other people. To take care of myself. To focus on myself. To live in the present.
hotrod said
Sep 29, 2016
Thank you Emma I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts and recovery process here. This (as they all are) is an important Step. I am glad that you are moving forward. Please keep coming back.
SarahGee said
Oct 19, 2016
STEP 2 QUESTIONS
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
I believe that God is the energy all around us. We can pull positive or negative energy, depending on our actions. I don't necessarily believe there is a plan for each individual, but that there is a great plan for ALL. That is to achieve our greatest potential to love others, ourselves and our planet. Our existence is a gift.
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
I don't quite understand this question. How could my mind be changed about how I see God? I don't think it could, unless there was some sort of physical proof that my version of God is entirely incorrect.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
Absolutely. I was raised in the Pentecostal church. By alcoholics. You can imagine how that could create a lot of confusion in a child. I stepped away from the church's definition of God, but not the idea of God entirely.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
Release. I try too hard to control everything, believing that I can control the outcome if I control the process.
I can't. I have no control. I'm realizing that.
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
Going to meetings. Talking with those in recovery. Meditating, exercise, spending time in nature, reading literature.
My best friend, my ex boyfriend (recovered alcoholic with 17 years in AA) and indirectly, the alcoholics in my life. They have pushed me to the point that I sought healing, and I thank them for it.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
Previously I believed that sanity would be restored if others did what I wanted them to do (recover/treatment/get help). I put all of my hope for a bright future in their hands.
I don't do that anymore, my sanity comes from me and my ability to release the hurts in my heart, fears and doubts to God. From me doing the best that I can, in all areas of life. I also try to live in gratitude and focus on my many many blessings.
hotrod said
Oct 19, 2016
Hello Emma, Great share on this important step. Loved your responses and could identify with your process. I am glad that you are sharing this journey.
Kim C said
Nov 10, 2016
I'm back today with step 2. Thank you for a place where ESH are shared and a "real' program is being worked!
What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
It is the creator of the universe. The God who is in heaven and knows my innermost thoughts and feelings. He knows and understands all of my motives and wants only what is best for me at all times. He is a God of love and mercy. And of healing.
What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
I don't think I want my concept of HP to change. I do want to grow in understanding of His will for me.
Have experiences affected my concept of a HP?
There have been times in my life when experiences have affected my concept of a HP. I have seen miracles done in the lives of people I love. Lives saved by His grace. I have also had some times when I felt distant from him and hopeless. Although I thought he had left me on my own, I know that it was me who left.
What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a power greater than myself?
I have accepted this concept for most of my adult life. I have gained guidance and unconditional love.
What are the activities that bring you hope & help you believe things are OK and will be OK?
There are many. Praise and worship music helps to remind me of who my God is and what he is able to do. Being able to come to MIP and read what others have shared is very comforting to me and reminds me that I'm not in this alone. I have found a lot of ESH here.
Because I am unable to attend the meeting in my town I also attend open AA meetings with my AH. He has been in recovery 4 months. I am welcomed there as part of a family and find that I look forward to the weekends when I get to go. It is a very close group and I have learned so much about recovery.
I also am able to talk recovery with my AH. We can share progress, stumbles, and growth with each other. We are learning to relate to each other in new ways as we both work the steps.
How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
Being restored to sanity has meant peace even when things aren't going my way. The ability to accept life on life's terms instead of trying to control and manipulate things to turn out the way I think they should.
hotrod said
Nov 10, 2016
Hello again Kim Thank you so much for you dedication to your recovery and for sharing the journey here with us.
Sounds as if your program is solid
Kim C said
Nov 10, 2016
Thanks Betty!
JaneGrace said
Nov 22, 2016
Ok, this step is a mess for me. I can't NOT believe in a greater power, universal good, Creator, Alpha, Omega, etc. It can be God if you want. That's fine. Except that it's totally not fine. In my head there is Universal Higher Power. Omnipotent and Impersonal, just the way I want. And then there is Higher Power, which equates to God, which equates to Jesus and Christianity and Personal Savior, and that flat out sets my teeth on edge. That God fella, the one were taught as kids would be our protector, didn't protect us from evil, and 50 years later, I'm still mad.
Childish, I know. I'm still working on how to get past it.
STEP 2 QUESTIONS
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
Universal, impersonal, and omnipotent. Not concerned with the minutiae of humans and their silly concerns. Focused instead on the big picture of Good in All the Universe.
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
I like it the way it is. I don't like the idea that something as magnificent as creation concerns itself with humanity.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." First, I resent the whole idea that my best efforts are/were worthless, useless, meaningless. Are we trying to have our cake and eat it, too, when we judge some efforts as our own plan, and other efforts as God's plan? Second, restore us to what? Right thinking? Thinking that serves us better for the moment? Thinking that helps us find serenity?
As I wrestle with this, I can begin to imagine appealing to the Universe to help me find ways of aligning my thoughts and actions with the greater good. I don't know...I think I'm going down a rabbit hole here. Because I actually do ask the same God I'm still half mad at to lean on down and guide my heart.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
My main goal is to be in alignment with Universal Good. But I still hear resistance. I still want to be in alignment because I figured out what alignment is, and then made the choice. I don't want to be in alignment through the act of giving up.
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future. When I can talk out what's going on in my emotions, that is really helpful. I go to Al Anon out a sense of desperation, when I've isolated myself so much that I know I must connect.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity? "Sanity" here means, "able to feel balanced. Learning to trust my inner knowing and regaining confidence in my ability to fit in and not be a dork because my head's still so wrapped up in leaving an abusive marriage. Learning healthy relationship boundaries."
hotrod said
Nov 22, 2016
JaneGrace, I know that feeling of accepting the concept of a Higher Power but being extremely angry with the God of my childhood.
Alanon suggested that I keep an open mind and trust that this Power Greater than Myself would help. In the beginning I used the principles of alanon and the rooms as that power Today after many years, I have a God of my understanding and trust the process. Thanks for moving through the questions Recovery is a process.
Heyamy said
Jan 4, 2017
Question: What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
I do believe in a higher power. That part is easy. It's the giving it over to the higher part that is hard for me...giving up the control. I think it's all up to me and that when I run around in circles in my head on a hamster wheel I can fix it all, fix everything, fix myself and it's all up to me. I just have to think hard enough, figure out the right thing, loose enough weight, read the right self help book, get on the right medications, that it's all in my hands. I still half heartedly believe this as I'm writing. That if I just spend more time in my head spinning the wheels it will change....then I remember if nothing changes, then nothing changes, right? BUT. In wading through all this thought garbage I do believe my higher power is right here while I write this...here in nature, here in the bird that I can hear chirping outside my window as I type....here in my sons eyes, in his smile. I totally believe that my HP is here and alive, the tough part is remembering that every day and turning my self over to my HP and giving up the control is the hard part.
Question: What would it take to allow my concept of my Higher Power to change?
Surrendering. Stop fighting it. Acceptance.
Question: Have Past experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
I think I lost faith in my HP, I don't know when, where, how or why it happened, but I think it is directly related to my feelings of self worth and feeling unworthy. Feeling unlovable. I don't know where it all comes from, but I know that I have worked really, really hard keeping everything and everyone including my HP away from me. I think every failure, big and small, shame, and low self worth have each been a tiny brick in a massive wall that I built up around myself, to keep myself contained and shut off from the rest of the world.
Question: What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
PEACE. SERENITY. SELF WORTH. HELP. GUIDANCE. SELF LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE. COURAGE.
-- Edited by Heyamy on Wednesday 4th of January 2017 07:25:13 AM
hotrod said
Jan 4, 2017
Hello Heyamy Thanks for joining in and sharing your thoughts on this powerful step. Recovery i a process and I am pleased that you are sharing the journey
sharonp said
Feb 1, 2017
. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
1. My concept of a higher power at this time is God's love and the power of the fellowship of Alanon.
2. I think right now that I have to stay away from social media and the news because my higher power is not judgmental in a bad way. I am pretty sadden by the way people are acting right now, and I need to concentrate on the fellowship of Alanon and the things I am learning on how to cope with the Alcoholic in my life.
3. I have had some bad experiences with other people that are religious because they say one thing and do another. But, that is not love and that is not how I chose to believe in my higher power.
4. I hope to gain understanding and peace. I hope to not lose my focus on myself so that my life does not become unmanageable.
5. I have been attending the online meetings and reading the post in the Alanon family Group. I asked about how to view the higher power in another forum. I think I was able to get some good answers about how to think about my higher power.
6. I am not really sure how to answer this, except to say that I had an emergency in my life with my qualifier and I immediately knew I could not handle it on my own. I have been in AA before and the first step is to admit we are powerless and our life had become unmanageable, and I just knew I needed help. I knew that the program and the fellowship had helped me before. It was kind of like an ace in my pocket. I gave my worries over to a higher power and that is trust.
hotrod said
Feb 1, 2017
Hello Sharonp These are extremely honest and through responses to the Step 2 questions. Thank you. Please do continue to keep coming back and when you feel ready imply move on to the next Step.
Glad that you are sharing the journey.
C2C page 307 the journey towards a Higher Power has been so gradual for me that I have been unaware of much of it. There has been no burst of light,no burning bush- just a gradual clearing of the thoughts that I lived in before recovery in Al-Anon. Acknowledging this process helps me when I'm impatient with the twists and turns of life
My Share
This is indeed a powerful step and one I did not take lightly. I did have difficulty with the God of my understanding, so that I substituted the principles of the Al-Anon program and the tools of the program as my understanding of a Higher Power. I saw how they worked and was willing to believe they could restore me to sanity as well. Attending meetings, working with the slogans, examining my motives, all helped me to believe that I could be restored to sanity. As long as I kept showing up.
Today after many meetings and much prayer and meditation, I have found a God of my understanding and have complete faith in that Power. I found that my disappointment with the God of my childhood came about because I prayed continually for "my will" to be done and that is not how the Universe works Today I have an Acceptance and can pray for courage, serenity and wisdom and trust HP with the rest.
STEP 2 QUESTIONS
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
Life Itself. I can look at the sky, and know that it is much bigger than me. The Nature that is all around me, that encompasses me, is definitely a lot bigger than me. I am just a small part of something much bigger than me. I call it "Life Itself".
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
I don't know. I guess if I had a vision or major miracle, I might be induced to change my concept. But I'm not inclined to go back to a childhood notion of an old man in the sky who is watching over (and judging) all things happening. I tend toward thinking of this Higher Power as being implicit in everything that is happening. Part of the show, not an observer or granter of favors.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
I've been a doubter/skeptic of fundamental religious concepts since my late teenage years. I've gone through phases where I've called myself an agnostic and an atheist. I've dabbled around in Eastern Spiritual practices. At this point I can see that my own ego is still a (the) problem, even in all of my searchings.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
I want to find a humble (and simple) way of dealing with myself and my relationships. An open door. An insight. A way to live without always tripping over my ego agenda. A freedom from negativity and dead end behaviors. A spaciousness inside myself that is not bound up in resentment.
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
Breathing? Taking a walk. Swimming (which is a form of meditation for me). Finding this "recovery" board. Tomorrow I will go to my 2nd meeting.
The person who has helped me believe the most in the (my) future is a young man (42 yeas old now) who has been in prison for 23 years. I have known him since he was 5 years old, and at the age of 18 he was sentenced to Life in Prison for taking part in a robbery that ended in someone dying (he had nothing to do with the robbery or the murder, but that is all another story). I visited him in prison yesterday, and despite the outrageous injustice that has been done to him, he has chosen to be positive, to find the good in every person, to be a blessing to his family and all those around him. He has done an immense amount of inner work on himself, and in some strange way he is now "free" - much free-er than many outside of prison. He sees and lives in a great deal of insanity, codependency, blame and shame, and yet he has somehow found his way to a free, grateful, and even joyous way of being. His mother says that he is somehow protected by a bubble of grace. To me, he is obviously very graced and has been given a great spiritual gift.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
I know that sanity has nothing to do with how I figure things out. Always knowing how things should be is a major part of my insanity.
Keep coming back.
My concept of HP is good orderly direction. A strong sense order. So life flowing along naturally instead of pushing against the tide. I trust that I just need to keep doing the next right thing and it will all fall into place.
I find great comfort and strength with my HP as it is. Don't feel a need to change it.
As I have started to live alongside my HP of good orderly direction, my life has because far less stressful. Far less fearful. I have trust now. That things will go well. Often better than just well. In trust the flow of life.
-- Edited by Calm Lady on Monday 19th of September 2016 06:45:08 PM
I benefit from my meetings, reading Al-anon literature, layering to Al-anon shares on you tube. This sets of little light bulbs of understanding and relief.
I had no idea how insane I was until I had been working the program for quite a while. I thought it was everyone else! Now I have awareness and act in a sane calm way. I remove myself from people acting insanely. I no longer get dragged in.
My concept of a HP is "love" -- it's vague and I don't feel it all the time.
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
It would be easy, I think, for my concept of a HP to change. I don't have a very fixed concept of HP, but am very open to that. I would like to feel more HP; I would like to let go more and trust and surrender. I'm praying to achieve that.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
When I first entered al-anon about 8 years ago, I didn't feel any sense of HP/God. I had a spiritual awakening in al-anon and felt it very strongly. Then I stopped going to al-anon (no alcoholics in my life, things were good, my job changed) and slowly I lost all sense of HP. So going to al-anon regularly gave me a sense of HP and I'm hoping that keeping going now will restore it.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
To give up the absurd sense of control that I have and the anxiety and stress that goes along with that. I want to stop feeling in charge of everything and just surrender into the flow of life! I am a massive control freak and I just want to let go and let god, and it's so hard right now!
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
Reading recovery literature, going to meetings, listening to speakers, doing service, helping others (in my regular job, which is in the helping professions), being in nature, hanging out with my pets, riding a horse, and looking back on the past and knowing that things always work out a-okay.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
Well, I didn't think I was insane before, but I now recognize a lot of non-sane behaviors and attitudes I have. I know that if I could let go, everything would be fine. I am *willing* to let go, but I need more tools to actually make it happen, I guess.
Glad that we are walking this path together .
I am glad too, Betty. Thank you for being here and all your service.
I very much feel that I want to work through the Steps as I suspect I am still carrying some buried pain, shame, guilt and anger. I would like to clean this out by bringing it to the surface by honest working of the Steps.
I have being doing recovery work for about six years but never formally worked through the Steps. The time is overdue. I have changed and let go of a lot already. I am very grateful for that.
I would like to be a light hearted lady with a clean heart and soul.
Thank you everyone.
I was saying to a friend yesterday the biggest biggest biggest help for me was learning to mind my own business. That phrase makes my heart sing. To me, it is freedom.
-- Edited by Calm Lady on Tuesday 20th of September 2016 06:59:36 AM
-- Edited by Calm Lady on Tuesday 20th of September 2016 06:59:58 AM
I was led to Al-anon in my search for help and as I reflect on this, here is my share:
I have stopped posting in the message board for a while and am inclined not to post on impulse. I find myself more confused as I do so. I continue to read and "listen" to the shares, I then "listen" to myself, and then I kept silent without any reaction, not agreeing nor contradicting. Then I make reflections. I realized that what I read and heard from the others are TRUE, they are true for them, it is their truth. I also realized that some of their truth are also my truth. I have to listen to my truth as unique to me, it may be similar but not exactly the same. I would pick up life lessons and learning experiences from others, I apply it to myself as I see them applicable. As they say experience is the best teacher, it may be your own or of others. As any other learning process, sometimes you perfect it, sometimes not. And then you go on with life, still learning. As in schooling, you go to the next level when you passed one, never ending. Life is a learning process, you graduate when life ends. I can only say decisions and actions has its consequences, who is to judge. Who can tell what could have happened if I choose one over the other, not even I can exactly tell. I have to be gentle to myself that whatever it is, I did it out of my best knowledge, best effort and best hopes. The outcome is always beyond me, result could be failure, success or mediocre. It doesn't matter how others perceive my situation or what they think I should do. All I know is that as long as I'm completely honest and open to myself, I hold within me the truth, and I can always act based on my own truth. And that there is "something" in me that I could not explain. It is in me, but it is not me, I truly believe it is GOD.
Please do keep coming back.
1. My concept of a higher power: An all encompassing spirit whom is looking after me and all of humanity, he shows himself through friends, pets, nature, and experiences.
2. What would it take to allow my concept to change? I'm not sure that I want it to change, but look forward to my understanding and acceptance of hp growing and working in my life. I do want my thoughts of his will being the focus not my will.
3. Have experiences affected my concept? Absolutely! Since I have been making a focused effort to be in contact with my hp I have experienced many situations that can only be hp at work. Some may call it coincidences. I know when I surrender and hand over control to my hp, something changes and I find some peace. The minute I snatch back control I am unbalanced again.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of HP: I want peace and to know that life will unfold how it is meant to be and that I can survive the storm no matter what happens as long as I have hp by my side.
5. Activities that bring me hope: Nature, helping others, reading literature, meetings, speaker tapes, meditation.
6. How have my ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity? First of all accepting life on lifes terms instead of always trying to force my will. Accepting that I am only responsible for me not everyone else, especially my children. They have their own will and destiny and I have mine.
When I first did the stepwork with my sponsor, I was asked "Do you believe that there is a power greater than you? Can that power restore you to sanity?" I replied "yes" and "yes". My sponsor said "Step 2, done."
I decided to take a bit more time and answer the questions this time, per hotrod's response to my step one post, that this is a daily activity.
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
My concept of a Higher Power is God in heaven. He is, was, and always will be my source of hope and strength. I have never struggled with the "who" of my Higher Power, but step 3 - His will and not mine - has been a struggle at times. I guess, to be honest, sometimes I act like God and therefore, I guess I am ashamed to say, that sometimes I thought of myself as my HP.
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
As someone said above, I am not interested in my concept of my HP changing, except for me to grow more deeply dependent in my relationship with Him. I have experienced true healing miracles in my own life and in others' lives. I know beyond doubt, for me, that there is a God in heaven (or heaven on earth) that loves me and wants what He knows is best for me.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
As above, I have had experiences which just confirmed what I have always known about my God. He has answered my prayers or taught me by delaying the answers in His time. I learn more about Him every day.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself? I do hope to gain greater serenity and sanity and freedom in the knowledge that God knows what He's doing. Everyone has a HP and "I" am not it.
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
Going to meetings, especially here, has been helpful to me and brings me insight and hope. I enjoy reading others' esh, especially those with years in the program. My own prayer life and reading and listening to scripture are the things that help me the most. I read a lot of healing literature and it has been especially helpful. Maybe not the right alanon answer, but it works for me.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
I think the answer is really what it means to be restored to serenity. Yes, there were times that I felt insane, when my AH's response to me led me to question myself and what was "normal" (whatever that is.) But thanks to my HP I was mostly able to maintain what I thought was sanity. But not serenity. Not a feeling of calm in the storm. Not a confidence that all would be alright in time. That is what I seek. That He is with me always, in the midst of troubles (and there are still troubles despite my AH 9 1/2 months in the program). But I am thankful to God because I know He hears me.
I think that taking the time to answer the questions, as you have done, simply helps to reinforce that faith in a Higher Power and reestablishes our belief that we can be restored to sanity .
Good work in taking the time.
A higher intelligence, a power greater than myself
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
My concept of a HP is quite open at the moment. I hope my connection to HP will deepen. That I will let go and surrender more.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
I think the difficult experiences I have had in recent years have lead me to spirituality. Alone, I couldn't cope. I discovered I cannot think my way to inner peace. Meditation and reading spiritual literature have helped me open to HP.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
Inner peace. Serenity.
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
Reading spiritual literature, meditation, spending time in nature, Al Anon meetings.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
Yes, I now see that the sanity is allowing other people to be on their own journeys. Not to try to change and fix other people. To take care of myself. To focus on myself. To live in the present.
STEP 2 QUESTIONS
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
I believe that God is the energy all around us. We can pull positive or negative energy, depending on our actions. I don't necessarily believe there is a plan for each individual, but that there is a great plan for ALL. That is to achieve our greatest potential to love others, ourselves and our planet. Our existence is a gift.
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
I don't quite understand this question. How could my mind be changed about how I see God? I don't think it could, unless there was some sort of physical proof that my version of God is entirely incorrect.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
Absolutely. I was raised in the Pentecostal church. By alcoholics. You can imagine how that could create a lot of confusion in a child. I stepped away from the church's definition of God, but not the idea of God entirely.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
Release. I try too hard to control everything, believing that I can control the outcome if I control the process.
I can't. I have no control. I'm realizing that.
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
Going to meetings. Talking with those in recovery. Meditating, exercise, spending time in nature, reading literature.
My best friend, my ex boyfriend (recovered alcoholic with 17 years in AA) and indirectly, the alcoholics in my life. They have pushed me to the point that I sought healing, and I thank them for it.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
Previously I believed that sanity would be restored if others did what I wanted them to do (recover/treatment/get help). I put all of my hope for a bright future in their hands.
I don't do that anymore, my sanity comes from me and my ability to release the hurts in my heart, fears and doubts to God. From me doing the best that I can, in all areas of life. I also try to live in gratitude and focus on my many many blessings.
Hello Emma, Great share on this important step. Loved your responses and could identify with your process. I am glad that you are sharing this journey.
I'm back today with step 2. Thank you for a place where ESH are shared and a "real' program is being worked!
What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
It is the creator of the universe. The God who is in heaven and knows my innermost thoughts and feelings. He knows and understands all of my motives and wants only what is best for me at all times. He is a God of love and mercy. And of healing.
What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
I don't think I want my concept of HP to change. I do want to grow in understanding of His will for me.
Have experiences affected my concept of a HP?
There have been times in my life when experiences have affected my concept of a HP. I have seen miracles done in the lives of people I love. Lives saved by His grace. I have also had some times when I felt distant from him and hopeless. Although I thought he had left me on my own, I know that it was me who left.
What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a power greater than myself?
I have accepted this concept for most of my adult life. I have gained guidance and unconditional love.
What are the activities that bring you hope & help you believe things are OK and will be OK?
There are many. Praise and worship music helps to remind me of who my God is and what he is able to do. Being able to come to MIP and read what others have shared is very comforting to me and reminds me that I'm not in this alone. I have found a lot of ESH here.
Because I am unable to attend the meeting in my town I also attend open AA meetings with my AH. He has been in recovery 4 months. I am welcomed there as part of a family and find that I look forward to the weekends when I get to go. It is a very close group and I have learned so much about recovery.
I also am able to talk recovery with my AH. We can share progress, stumbles, and growth with each other. We are learning to relate to each other in new ways as we both work the steps.
How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
Being restored to sanity has meant peace even when things aren't going my way. The ability to accept life on life's terms instead of trying to control and manipulate things to turn out the way I think they should.
Sounds as if your program is solid
Thanks Betty!
Ok, this step is a mess for me. I can't NOT believe in a greater power, universal good, Creator, Alpha, Omega, etc. It can be God if you want. That's fine. Except that it's totally not fine. In my head there is Universal Higher Power. Omnipotent and Impersonal, just the way I want. And then there is Higher Power, which equates to God, which equates to Jesus and Christianity and Personal Savior, and that flat out sets my teeth on edge. That God fella, the one were taught as kids would be our protector, didn't protect us from evil, and 50 years later, I'm still mad.
Childish, I know. I'm still working on how to get past it.
STEP 2 QUESTIONS
1. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
Universal, impersonal, and omnipotent. Not concerned with the minutiae of humans and their silly concerns. Focused instead on the big picture of Good in All the Universe.
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
I like it the way it is. I don't like the idea that something as magnificent as creation concerns itself with humanity.
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." First, I resent the whole idea that my best efforts are/were worthless, useless, meaningless. Are we trying to have our cake and eat it, too, when we judge some efforts as our own plan, and other efforts as God's plan? Second, restore us to what? Right thinking? Thinking that serves us better for the moment? Thinking that helps us find serenity?
As I wrestle with this, I can begin to imagine appealing to the Universe to help me find ways of aligning my thoughts and actions with the greater good. I don't know...I think I'm going down a rabbit hole here. Because I actually do ask the same God I'm still half mad at to lean on down and guide my heart.
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
My main goal is to be in alignment with Universal Good. But I still hear resistance. I still want to be in alignment because I figured out what alignment is, and then made the choice. I don't want to be in alignment through the act of giving up.
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
When I can talk out what's going on in my emotions, that is really helpful. I go to Al Anon out a sense of desperation, when I've isolated myself so much that I know I must connect.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity? "Sanity" here means, "able to feel balanced. Learning to trust my inner knowing and regaining confidence in my ability to fit in and not be a dork because my head's still so wrapped up in leaving an abusive marriage. Learning healthy relationship boundaries."
Alanon suggested that I keep an open mind and trust that this Power Greater than Myself would help. In the beginning I used the principles of alanon and the rooms as that power Today after many years, I have a God of my understanding and trust the process. Thanks for moving through the questions Recovery is a process.
Question:
What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
I do believe in a higher power. That part is easy. It's the giving it over to the higher part that is hard for me...giving up the control. I think it's all up to me and that when I run around in circles in my head on a hamster wheel I can fix it all, fix everything, fix myself and it's all up to me. I just have to think hard enough, figure out the right thing, loose enough weight, read the right self help book, get on the right medications, that it's all in my hands. I still half heartedly believe this as I'm writing. That if I just spend more time in my head spinning the wheels it will change....then I remember if nothing changes, then nothing changes, right? BUT. In wading through all this thought garbage I do believe my higher power is right here while I write this...here in nature, here in the bird that I can hear chirping outside my window as I type....here in my sons eyes, in his smile. I totally believe that my HP is here and alive, the tough part is remembering that every day and turning my self over to my HP and giving up the control is the hard part.
Question:
What would it take to allow my concept of my Higher Power to change?
Surrendering. Stop fighting it. Acceptance.
Question:
Have Past experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
I think I lost faith in my HP, I don't know when, where, how or why it happened, but I think it is directly related to my feelings of self worth and feeling unworthy. Feeling unlovable. I don't know where it all comes from, but I know that I have worked really, really hard keeping everything and everyone including my HP away from me. I think every failure, big and small, shame, and low self worth have each been a tiny brick in a massive wall that I built up around myself, to keep myself contained and shut off from the rest of the world.
Question:
What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
PEACE. SERENITY. SELF WORTH. HELP. GUIDANCE. SELF LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE. COURAGE.
-- Edited by Heyamy on Wednesday 4th of January 2017 07:25:13 AM
. What is my concept of a Higher Power at this time?
2. What would it take to allow my concept of a Higher Power to change?
3. Have experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? If so, how?
4. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?
5 What are the activities that bring you hope and help you believe things are OK and will be OK? Going to meetings? Talking with recovering people? Reading recovery literature? Name those who have helped you to believe the most in your future.
6 How have your ideas changed about what it means to be restored to sanity?
1. My concept of a higher power at this time is God's love and the power of the fellowship of Alanon.
2. I think right now that I have to stay away from social media and the news because my higher power is not judgmental in a bad way. I am pretty sadden by the way people are acting right now, and I need to concentrate on the fellowship of Alanon and the things I am learning on how to cope with the Alcoholic in my life.
3. I have had some bad experiences with other people that are religious because they say one thing and do another. But, that is not love and that is not how I chose to believe in my higher power.
4. I hope to gain understanding and peace. I hope to not lose my focus on myself so that my life does not become unmanageable.
5. I have been attending the online meetings and reading the post in the Alanon family Group. I asked about how to view the higher power in another forum. I think I was able to get some good answers about how to think about my higher power.
6. I am not really sure how to answer this, except to say that I had an emergency in my life with my qualifier and I immediately knew I could not handle it on my own. I have been in AA before and the first step is to admit we are powerless and our life had become unmanageable, and I just knew I needed help. I knew that the program and the fellowship had helped me before. It was kind of like an ace in my pocket. I gave my worries over to a higher power and that is trust.
Glad that you are sharing the journey.