Hi and thanks for the share. I have finally been able to work out how to log in here and am grateful as I am in a remote place. I'm assuming from the post dates that this is our current step for the fortnight.

My share:

I have found that through my recovery I have had moments of clarity where I could see that handing over concerns to my HP had turned out with the solution that was meant to be.
It was really testing for me most of the time because most of my "problems" were things that I had made peace with, I'm talking about day to day drama, being triggered by people and situations etc. These situations had become easily manageable through my spiritual Serenity and had learned to give issues a bit if time and space and they usually sort themselves out...or to allows intense feelings to pass. Yes this was all manageable with the help of the slogans in particular.

My problem was with the deep soul yearnings I had. Coming from a very dysfunctional family where much alcohism/gambling/addiction is present coupled with another family disease of narcissism (the disability of not being able to feel genuine empathy), I was forced into the role of being the family scapegoat. My family of origin were so uncomfortable with any hint of my recovery and being able to see through the diseases, that they simply eradicated me from my own family life. They don't speak of me, it's like I am dead to them.
A long and sad story ...but to cut it short, I was left with a crippling desire to be accepted as part of a new family or even a set of *real friends.
It has also manifested in a more positive natural way, wanting to create my own healthy family.
The waiting and constant handing over was exhausting simply because being included, belonging and being loved/having a family role to play is an integral part of being a happy healthy whole person. A challenging waiting period that's for sure. When I was able to really take healing time, relax more and get "un-busied" I was able to live in the moment more of the time. Part of me let go of having a family and actual real friends and I became comfortable with being a loner. I started to see every magical synchronicity in my life as a growing enchantment and I feel that this was one one the most solid Spiritual awakenings I have ever had. I knew though deep in my soul that my desire to be in a family/have my own family was still there and still important but I started living better in my current reality, and stopped placing all the important on "the alter of the future" which my Sponsor calls that type of thinking.
I now have a family in the form of being a very proud and sensitive/aware parent and I can only say that it is a dream come true. It now is happening for me and I couldn't be more grateful. My HP had her own timing and I can recognise that if I had not done the neccesary Spiritual work or waited for the correct timing, I would not have my angels- exactly as they are.
For reasons beyond my understanding I had to be outcast from my own sick family as being a loyal person I would never have fully left them ... I'm just not like that. Once I was away from them and in a healthy environment with very limited contact with
Toxic self centered type people....my new soul family came to me.
Blessed, and eternally grateful.
Grace

Welcome Grace Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important Step. I to can identify and am pleased that alnon recognizes the difficulties that some members face and have termed the meetings "Alanon Family Groups " We are not alone and can easily identify with other members Please do keep coming back.

Hi Betty,

Thank you for the shares and encouragement.


Step Three Questions

How do I feel about turning my will and my life over to a higher power for guidance? I've had a very close relationship with my HP for years. There's at least a huge area of trust missing, and leaving things in His hands..........

if I'm unable to make the decision. What holds me back?

Do I trust my higher power to care for me? Yes. He led me here.......Much work to do.....

How can I stop myself from taking my will back? Not sure yet. I think I will stop, but then I do pick it up again.....

What can I do when my loved ones make the decision. I don't like? Give them to my HP and don't make their choices etc...

What can I do to try to see others as God sees them? Pray for them, work on me

How can I express God's will in my actions and words towards others, including the alcoholics? By taking care of my relationship with my HP first and putting the program/work first.......all else will follow. No judging, no giving advice etc

I find myself trying to do the steps quickly to feel that release of such a burden I used to feel long ago when doing my inventory. IN hopes of seeing more of what is hidden, those things I cannot yet see, the things that are tripping me up in attitude and emotions etc.......I don't have a sponsor yet......is moving onto step 4 too fast if it's without a sponsor for honest feedback? It seems so? Also am I moving too fast?

I believe that you are on the right track Tude The Steps helped me to see my mistaken attitudes, see how they were hurting me and then provided me with the courage to let go of my negative tools and embrace constructive ones instead .
Love your determination Keep on keeping on

Surrender :)

Thank you Betty. And thank you to someone on here who shared about the book "How Al-Anon Works." Digging into it online vs waiting on the book to arrive. What an eye opener. I'm sure more open eyes to follow lol.

Thank you for your service Betty!