Step Seven; "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings."
C2C, page 161; "there are many things that I can do to improve my life and to further my recovery, but I cannot heal myself. Today I can ask for help of becoming free of all the blocks me from my true self."
My share
I have worked many Step Seven in my time in program and I do believe I have finally learned to" humbly ask.". In the beginning of this journey, being humble felt like making myself invisible and then needing to ask for something was so foreign as I had never learned how to do so. . To my mind asking for something always indicated I was giving someone power to refuse or manipulate me so I never asked.
That meant that this step was extremely difficult to accept and work . Finally, after many, many years have discovered that" humbly" simply means that I have accepted the fact that I am not God and that only God or r my higher power can remove these defects
. Learning how to ask was a constructive tool that I picked up the program and am so grateful that I can now ask directions, ask for help with the understanding that I may not receive it, but that it is okay to ask.
As I said in step six. I became very ready to ask for my defects to be lifted when I saw them in action in my life. I saw how they hurt my self-esteem,self-worth, injured my relationships with others and were a very destructive force in my life. I was extremely happy to ask HP to lift them-. Knowing that underneath my defects were a whole host of constructive, supportive tools that I had ignored such as compassion, empathy, courtesy, respect as well as a little wisdom..\
I must say that it makes a bit of faith to practice this step, but it's really worth it. One day I discovered I was responding differently in situations where I always became angry and then I knew HP had been removed a defect without my knowing it and I was/ am eternally grateful
Step Seven Questions
What does humility mean to me?
What defects am I ready to have removed?
How can I treat myself with compassion and ask for the willingness to keep trying
Am I ready to ask God to remove my defects?
Do I have a sponsor?
What positive changes can I make myself?
What can I do this week to practice a positive trait?
As I work Step Seven do I see a change in my relationship with my Higher Power?
Midnight Jane said
Dec 28, 2017
What does humility mean to me? The concept has taken much introspection from me since I started this step. Though I have always had low self-esteem, a lack of humility has prevented me, from very early in my life, from asking for help, accepting help, or not knowing something. I not only saw complete independence as vital for my survival, but I have also struggled with depression for a lot of my life as I have been unable to meet many of my own expectations. Perhaps humility also means that it's okay if I'm not the hardest working, most talented, or most productive person in the room. My lack of humility has kept me comparing myself constantly with others. I have always prayed and asked God for things through my life, particularly in the bad times, but I realise now it was never with humility. It was with desperation, ego, and wanting my will done, not my Higher Power's. Many of my prayers have been answered, but they have not brought me peace. Self-will has been one of my biggest struggles, within myself and with other people. Humility means willing to let my self-will go.
What defects am I ready to have removed? For now, I am focusing on reactivity, gossiping, and negative thinking and talking. I am ready to have these removed.
How can I treat myself with compassion and ask for the willingness to keep trying? I need to keep showing up in my own life, and to keep doing the basics to stay healthy in all ways. I can make time daily to read the literature, focus, use the slogans, and to check in with my higher power at the beginning and end of each day.
Am I ready to ask God to remove my defects? Yes, I am ready.
Do I have a sponsor? No.
What positive changes can I make myself? I can become more aware of my language, and I can pause and think before I react with defensiveness, self-will, anger or emotion. I can remember to keep communication with my higher power open, and ask for help with awareness of my thinking and my talking. I can also focus more on action, and taking positive steps, rather than spending too much time in my own head.
What can I do this week to practice a positive trait? I can focus on listening to others more, and when I feel a rise or reaction, to breathe and pause, and give it time and consideration before I respond.
As I work Step Seven do I see a change in my relationship with my Higher Power? I see my Higher Power becoming an ally, a tool or relationship able to help me with my self-obsession and self-will, which has always led me to negative, fear-based talking and thinking. I am starting to see my Higher Power able to act directly in my life on a spiritual level, if I make space and allow it. I also realise that when I detach from situations that are not for me to respond to, I still have my Higher Power with me. If I remove myself from unhealthy situations, I no longer feel alone.
Thank you Betty, for your time.
hotrod said
Dec 29, 2017
Hello Midnight Jane Thank you for sharing with such honesty and clarity. Please do keep coming back
Tude said
Jan 6, 2018
I am so grateful for these steps! In 6, I realized I had not let go and given God so many things. The more Alanon literature I read, the more I saw where self-will interfered. Where I thought I was humble, I see where fear and blinded me to truly letting go and letting God be in charge. I have always prayed. I just couldn't see what I couldn't "see." What a paradox! I do not want to be in control. It's a sneaky thing........if I am in control, everything goes wrong. If God is in control, there is peace in my own life and those around me.
Step Seven Questions
What does humility mean to me?
Laying down my own will
What defects am I ready to have removed?
Fear of reacting in anger or talking too much to someone who doesn't need it. Negative thoughts and behavior....self! The need to get in Gods way and "help" someone by watching to see if they are going to meetings or not....the anxiety that comes with trying to control anything that is not my job to even be involved in.
How can I treat myself with compassion and ask for the willingness to keep trying
By continuing to turn my will over to God, ask Him for guidance, what His will is not mine...that will result in treating myself with compassion. Meetings, steps, fellowship with others in Alanon.
Am I ready to ask God to remove my defects?
Yes!
Do I have a sponsor?
Yes, I have a temporary sponsor who's awesome. I'm seeking a permanent one.
What positive changes can I make myself?
Show up and don't give up. The changes will follow..
What can I do this week to practice a positive trait?
Meetings. I get so much out of meetings and the forums. When I see how others are living through this, it gives me such hope to know I will live through this too and not just "survive" but truly live with peace and a purpose in my life.
As I work Step Seven do I see a change in my relationship with my Higher Power?
Yes!
hotrod said
Jan 6, 2018
Great awareness and honesty Tude. I found that Step 7 needed to be repeated each time I saw a defect surface as i interacted in the world
Tude said
Jan 6, 2018
Thank you for sharing that with me! I honestly would not have thought of it that way. I am seeing areas of needing to slow down.......others to work through quickly. It makes sense that 7 would be one to give to my HP when those defects arise. And they do!!!
You're awesome and I soooooooo appreciate all you do!!!
C2C, page 161; "there are many things that I can do to improve my life and to further my recovery, but I cannot heal myself. Today I can ask for help of becoming free of all the blocks me from my true self."
My share
I have worked many Step Seven in my time in program and I do believe I have finally learned to" humbly ask.". In the beginning of this journey, being humble felt like making myself invisible and then needing to ask for something was so foreign as I had never learned how to do so. . To my mind asking for something always indicated I was giving someone power to refuse or manipulate me so I never asked.
As I said in step six. I became very ready to ask for my defects to be lifted when I saw them in action in my life. I saw how they hurt my self-esteem,self-worth, injured my relationships with others and were a very destructive force in my life. I was extremely happy to ask HP to lift them-. Knowing that underneath my defects were a whole host of constructive, supportive tools that I had ignored such as compassion, empathy, courtesy, respect as well as a little wisdom..\
Step Seven Questions
What does humility mean to me?
What defects am I ready to have removed?
How can I treat myself with compassion and ask for the willingness to keep trying
Am I ready to ask God to remove my defects?
Do I have a sponsor?
What positive changes can I make myself?
What can I do this week to practice a positive trait?
As I work Step Seven do I see a change in my relationship with my Higher Power?
What does humility mean to me?
The concept has taken much introspection from me since I started this step. Though I have always had low self-esteem, a lack of humility has prevented me, from very early in my life, from asking for help, accepting help, or not knowing something. I not only saw complete independence as vital for my survival, but I have also struggled with depression for a lot of my life as I have been unable to meet many of my own expectations. Perhaps humility also means that it's okay if I'm not the hardest working, most talented, or most productive person in the room. My lack of humility has kept me comparing myself constantly with others. I have always prayed and asked God for things through my life, particularly in the bad times, but I realise now it was never with humility. It was with desperation, ego, and wanting my will done, not my Higher Power's. Many of my prayers have been answered, but they have not brought me peace. Self-will has been one of my biggest struggles, within myself and with other people. Humility means willing to let my self-will go.
What defects am I ready to have removed?
For now, I am focusing on reactivity, gossiping, and negative thinking and talking. I am ready to have these removed.
How can I treat myself with compassion and ask for the willingness to keep trying?
I need to keep showing up in my own life, and to keep doing the basics to stay healthy in all ways. I can make time daily to read the literature, focus, use the slogans, and to check in with my higher power at the beginning and end of each day.
Am I ready to ask God to remove my defects?
Yes, I am ready.
Do I have a sponsor?
No.
What positive changes can I make myself?
I can become more aware of my language, and I can pause and think before I react with defensiveness, self-will, anger or emotion. I can remember to keep communication with my higher power open, and ask for help with awareness of my thinking and my talking. I can also focus more on action, and taking positive steps, rather than spending too much time in my own head.
What can I do this week to practice a positive trait?
I can focus on listening to others more, and when I feel a rise or reaction, to breathe and pause, and give it time and consideration before I respond.
As I work Step Seven do I see a change in my relationship with my Higher Power?
I see my Higher Power becoming an ally, a tool or relationship able to help me with my self-obsession and self-will, which has always led me to negative, fear-based talking and thinking. I am starting to see my Higher Power able to act directly in my life on a spiritual level, if I make space and allow it. I also realise that when I detach from situations that are not for me to respond to, I still have my Higher Power with me. If I remove myself from unhealthy situations, I no longer feel alone.
Thank you Betty, for your time.
Step Seven Questions
What does humility mean to me?
Laying down my own will
What defects am I ready to have removed?
Fear of reacting in anger or talking too much to someone who doesn't need it. Negative thoughts and behavior....self! The need to get in Gods way and "help" someone by watching to see if they are going to meetings or not....the anxiety that comes with trying to control anything that is not my job to even be involved in.
How can I treat myself with compassion and ask for the willingness to keep trying
By continuing to turn my will over to God, ask Him for guidance, what His will is not mine...that will result in treating myself with compassion. Meetings, steps, fellowship with others in Alanon.
Am I ready to ask God to remove my defects?
Yes!
Do I have a sponsor?
Yes, I have a temporary sponsor who's awesome. I'm seeking a permanent one.
What positive changes can I make myself?
Show up and don't give up. The changes will follow..
What can I do this week to practice a positive trait?
Meetings. I get so much out of meetings and the forums. When I see how others are living through this, it gives me such hope to know I will live through this too and not just "survive" but truly live with peace and a purpose in my life.
As I work Step Seven do I see a change in my relationship with my Higher Power?
Yes!
You're awesome and I soooooooo appreciate all you do!!!
Tude
and I you