Al-Anon. Step 10; "continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it"
C2C reading page 329 when I keep track of my inventory on a daily basis,. I do not have to fear that I will fall into that state in which denial is so easy. When I surrender my inventory over to my Higher Power. I know that I'm moving toward freedom.
My share
Before I go to sleep each evening, I review my day and note the positive and negative happenings. In this reviewI look at the thoughts and the feelings that I experienced. Then ask myself where I could have acted differently or in a kinder manner. I find that this is a wonderful way,to see my life and make it all more real and meaningful to myself. I can see my positive and negative qualities and learn from my mistakes. This step, as well as one, two, three ad 11 are e steps that I practice everyday. I find this discipline has certainly improved my program as well.as my recovery..
Step 10 questions
What is the purpose of step 10?
In making a daily inventory I can ask myself;
What were the major events of the day?
What feelings did I experience?
What did I do?
What means of taking a daily inventory is comfortable?
What positive traits did I exhibit today?
What negative traits did I exhibit today?
How did I try to fix somebody else today?
If I was wrong, did I promptly admit it?
How would sharing this with my sponsor.help?
What characteristics. Keep showing?
Why do I resist having them?
Tude said
Jan 14, 2018
Thank you Betty. I am trusting so much more now. Trusting that by doing these steps, all the program involves, I wont fall back into the old trap I was in. From the experiences I've had just up to this step..........has been healing, mending relationships, restoring sanity, health and so much more...I've had a good relationship with God many years. This program put the areas of destructive thoughts and patterns that I could not see in a simple way for me to "open the package" to begin this journey! I am seeing the value and necessity of continuing this in all areas of my life. I don't want to go backwards, there is joy in forward.
Step 10 questions
What is the purpose of step 10?
To recognize I am human, growing, that I need the help of God in all areas to continue to see where my old patterns, behaviors and thoughts had done much harm.....in step 10 I continue to ask God what areas are needing work, to point them out to me, to quickly right a wrong, not allow it to grow
In making a daily inventory I can ask myself;
Are there areas I need to improve, have I caused any harm to others, what have I grown in, what false patterns of belief and behavior have changed for the better.......is there someone I need to make an amends? Where did I grow?
What were the major events of the day?
H/AH...not sure yet if he is an alcoholic.... going to a bar where his brother in law played in the band......
What feelings did I experience?
Fear......distrust..anxiety..
What did I do?
I fought through the fears, read my alanon literature, used the 3rd step prayer and then some......I did not react in anger but did act in fear and insecurity. I asked him not to drive after drinking. After doing these seriously, over a couple of hours,there was peace in me, in my home the rest of the day leading up to the event and after.
What means of taking a daily inventory is comfortable?
Looking at the progress I've made, or if an amend was made and both people feel better, etc. Also giving myself permission to make mistakes.
What positive traits did I exhibit today?
Not staying in the reactions but rather taking action using my tools. Things ended up peaceful. Looked for a moment to say a sincere, kind word to the lady who lives by us
What negative traits did I exhibit today?
Fear and insecurity, almost anger before I got through the storm of emotions surrounding the upcoming bar/band/dance issue........
How did I try to fix somebody else today?
When I first responded in fear and insecurity, in distrust of the situation. I asked him not to drink and drive.
If I was wrong, did I promptly admit it?
I did yet I still see another area this morning to make an amends to him. It must not feel good to him being distrusted. The atmosphere a bar and live band has brought it all back again. It has been many years since the trust was broken.
How would sharing this with my sponsor.help?
She sees so much I do not see. Yet. She also helps when times of "high emotions" may cloud my responses.
What characteristics. Keep showing?
I'm not sure I understand the question. Fears? And if this means what I think, then the next question would be fear of loss of control? Of myself? They are much better off in Gods hands and not mine. I can make a heck of a mess!
Why do I resist having them?
hotrod said
Jan 14, 2018
Good Job Tude This is a step I perform every night before I go to sleep It keeps me honest
Tude said
Jan 14, 2018
Thank you Betty! Another day to be very grateful for:)
hotrod said
Jan 14, 2018
Keep using your tools Tude Good work
Midnight Jane said
Feb 6, 2018
What is the purpose of step 10?
The purpose of step 10 is maintenance, and self-awareness. It is a reminder to keep the focus on myself, my own action and reaction, and off the actions of and obsession with others.
In making a daily inventory I can ask myself;
What were the major events of the day?
What feelings did I experience?
What did I do?
These have been useful questions. I find myself responding quicker to the feelings I have, to keep things from spiralling out of control. Today I began the day negatively, but I was quickly able to see my part in it, make a call to apologise, and move past it. These questions help me keep the focus on myself, and help me to change the things that are within my power, i.e. my own attitude and responses.
What means of taking a daily inventory is comfortable?
I simply take some time before sleeping to go through my day in my head and assess the major events, my feeling and my own actions and my part in these.
What positive traits did I exhibit today?
I was able to see when I was taking myself too seriously, and found the humility to admit it to another.
What negative traits did I exhibit today?
I began by taking myself too seriously, and blaming others.
How did I try to fix somebody else today?
Trying to 'fix' others is a role I have spent half a lifetime perfecting. I am learning how to let others manage their own lives.
If I was wrong, did I promptly admit it?
Today I was able to. It also surprised me how quickly.
How would sharing this with my sponsor.help?
What characteristics. Keep showing?
The need for control. And also the need to let go of control and responsibility. To jump ship.
Why do I resist having them?
Sometimes - a lot - I forget to trust a higher power, and think it's all in my hands. Then it's a relief when I remember it's not.
Thank you Betty for this space to share.
hotrod said
Feb 6, 2018
Hi Midnight Jane I do appreciate sharing and your honest responses to Step 10. It is a powerful Step and I am glad that you have incorporated it into your daily routine.
Have a great day
Before I go to sleep each evening, I review my day and note the positive and negative happenings. In this reviewI look at the thoughts and the feelings that I experienced. Then ask myself where I could have acted differently or in a kinder manner. I find that this is a wonderful way,to see my life and make it all more real and meaningful to myself. I can see my positive and negative qualities and learn from my mistakes. This step, as well as one, two, three ad 11 are e steps that I practice everyday. I find this discipline has certainly improved my program as well.as my recovery..
What negative traits did I exhibit today?
How did I try to fix somebody else today?
How would sharing this with my sponsor.help?
Step 10 questions
What is the purpose of step 10?
To recognize I am human, growing, that I need the help of God in all areas to continue to see where my old patterns, behaviors and thoughts had done much harm.....in step 10 I continue to ask God what areas are needing work, to point them out to me, to quickly right a wrong, not allow it to grow
In making a daily inventory I can ask myself;
Are there areas I need to improve, have I caused any harm to others, what have I grown in, what false patterns of belief and behavior have changed for the better.......is there someone I need to make an amends? Where did I grow?
What were the major events of the day?
H/AH...not sure yet if he is an alcoholic.... going to a bar where his brother in law played in the band......
What feelings did I experience?
Fear......distrust..anxiety..
What did I do?
I fought through the fears, read my alanon literature, used the 3rd step prayer and then some......I did not react in anger but did act in fear and insecurity. I asked him not to drive after drinking. After doing these seriously, over a couple of hours,there was peace in me, in my home the rest of the day leading up to the event and after.
What means of taking a daily inventory is comfortable?
Looking at the progress I've made, or if an amend was made and both people feel better, etc. Also giving myself permission to make mistakes.
What positive traits did I exhibit today?
Not staying in the reactions but rather taking action using my tools. Things ended up peaceful. Looked for a moment to say a sincere, kind word to the lady who lives by us
What negative traits did I exhibit today?
Fear and insecurity, almost anger before I got through the storm of emotions surrounding the upcoming bar/band/dance issue........
How did I try to fix somebody else today?
When I first responded in fear and insecurity, in distrust of the situation. I asked him not to drink and drive.
If I was wrong, did I promptly admit it?
I did yet I still see another area this morning to make an amends to him. It must not feel good to him being distrusted. The atmosphere a bar and live band has brought it all back again. It has been many years since the trust was broken.
How would sharing this with my sponsor.help?
She sees so much I do not see. Yet. She also helps when times of "high emotions" may cloud my responses.
What characteristics. Keep showing?
I'm not sure I understand the question. Fears? And if this means what I think, then the next question would be fear of loss of control? Of myself? They are much better off in Gods hands and not mine. I can make a heck of a mess!
Why do I resist having them?
The purpose of step 10 is maintenance, and self-awareness. It is a reminder to keep the focus on myself, my own action and reaction, and off the actions of and obsession with others.
In making a daily inventory I can ask myself;
What were the major events of the day?
What feelings did I experience?
What did I do?
These have been useful questions. I find myself responding quicker to the feelings I have, to keep things from spiralling out of control. Today I began the day negatively, but I was quickly able to see my part in it, make a call to apologise, and move past it. These questions help me keep the focus on myself, and help me to change the things that are within my power, i.e. my own attitude and responses.
What means of taking a daily inventory is comfortable?
I simply take some time before sleeping to go through my day in my head and assess the major events, my feeling and my own actions and my part in these.
What positive traits did I exhibit today?
I was able to see when I was taking myself too seriously, and found the humility to admit it to another.
What negative traits did I exhibit today?
I began by taking myself too seriously, and blaming others.
How did I try to fix somebody else today?
Trying to 'fix' others is a role I have spent half a lifetime perfecting. I am learning how to let others manage their own lives.
If I was wrong, did I promptly admit it?
Today I was able to. It also surprised me how quickly.
How would sharing this with my sponsor.help?
What characteristics. Keep showing?
The need for control. And also the need to let go of control and responsibility. To jump ship.
Why do I resist having them?
Sometimes - a lot - I forget to trust a higher power, and think it's all in my hands. Then it's a relief when I remember it's not.
Thank you Betty for this space to share.
Have a great day