Today, I am powerless over my dysfunctional neighbors. I have been harrassed by my neighbors because we put up a carport that they don't like. Now I am getting notes from my neighbors asking me to come over for coffee to "get to know me better". I don't want to go have coffee with these dysfunctional people. I said no I was busy and they said they would contact me by email next week. I will delete the email. I don't want to engage with these people.
I am working this step today because I am looking for relief.
Do I accept that I cannot control another person's drinking? Another person's behavior?
Yes I do, I had two issues yesterday, one with the asst principal at my son's school and this bs with the neighbors. I am powerless, I have no control over what they do. I can say no. I do have control over me. I can't change anything they do, but I can change me. I can work hard to stop feeling shamed. I also experience a lot of fear in these situations which I can work on too.
amanda2u2 said
Apr 6, 2006
hi, robinks... I'm sorry you are having such difficulties. Are you participating on the alanon board? that board is more like a support group for such difficulties, helping you to sort out and think about what Steps can be applied in such situations. We are working on Step 9, which recognizes that we do well to focus on our own part inthe chaos and problems and make amends to others. We agree that we can't change our neighbors and can change our selves, and so we work on Steps 4 through 9 to do that.
I hope that your STep 11 work will be helpful in guiding you into solutions for your situation.
amanda
dot said
Apr 7, 2006
Hi Robinks - Welcome to the board - glad you found us.
Certainly we are powerless over any other person, place or thing.
I agree with Amanda. I sometimes need to do a 4th Step on the problem and then follow thru with 5th through 9th Steps to get me back my serenity.
And yes - the Al-Anon message board is a good place to get feedback.
Love in Recovery - Dot
Vicky R said
Apr 11, 2006
hi Robinks , welcome , I can relate to all that too , detatching is a very difficult thing to learn . Alanon is a great help ,
lol Vickyr x
Today, I am powerless over my dysfunctional neighbors. I have been harrassed by my neighbors because we put up a carport that they don't like. Now I am getting notes from my neighbors asking me to come over for coffee to "get to know me better". I don't want to go have coffee with these dysfunctional people. I said no I was busy and they said they would contact me by email next week. I will delete the email. I don't want to engage with these people.
I am working this step today because I am looking for relief.
Do I accept that I cannot control another person's drinking? Another person's behavior?
Yes I do, I had two issues yesterday, one with the asst principal at my son's school and this bs with the neighbors. I am powerless, I have no control over what they do. I can say no. I do have control over me. I can't change anything they do, but I can change me. I can work hard to stop feeling shamed. I also experience a lot of fear in these situations which I can work on too.
hi, robinks... I'm sorry you are having such difficulties. Are you participating on the alanon board? that board is more like a support group for such difficulties, helping you to sort out and think about what Steps can be applied in such situations. We are working on Step 9, which recognizes that we do well to focus on our own part inthe chaos and problems and make amends to others. We agree that we can't change our neighbors and can change our selves, and so we work on Steps 4 through 9 to do that.
I hope that your STep 11 work will be helpful in guiding you into solutions for your situation.
amanda