Step Ten - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. From: Al-Anon's Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions pg. 63-64. (copyright 1981, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.) There was a valuable bonus in devoting ourselves to Step Ten: it helped us realize that the errors we made hurt us. Surely none of us wanted our spiritual progress hampered by having unamended errors weighing on our conscience. We were not comfortable when we found ourselves in a situation we had created - and wished we hadn't. When we were aware we had acted through selfishness, resentment, or any other fault, it reminded us that these shortcomings were not entirely rooted out with our work in Steps Four through Seven. Lapses hurt us, perhaps even more than they hurt others, but they could also be lessons for growth. That was the best reason for keeping ourselves alert to what we were doing and saying, and promptly correcting whatever lapses our faults had led us into. ((((((((ALL))))))))

-- Edited by dot at 18:31, 2006-04-09

Hi all, This thought on Step Ten certainly applies to me. After many 24 hours in the program, I can still be guilty of reacting verbally in a discussion. I would have felt better about myself if I had either kept quiet or thought first and spoke differently. However, when I am guilty, making amends quickly makes me feel better and helps difuse a situation that could become uncomfortable. Love in Recovery - Dot

Hi Dot thanks, I agree with everything you've said here. Sometimes I feel it would be better if I hadn't spoken. Other times I feel I should have spoken but either way it always feels good when I amend it. I looked up some more quotes on step 10 from CAL "just as it was in step 4 it is very important to include in any inventory the things we did well in addition to the mistakes we may have made. We can ask ourselves where we see improvement in our behaviour or what positive characteristics we exhibited. There may be many days where we handle ourselves well and exhibit none of our old behaviours" "completing steps four through nine does not ensure that our lives will now be totally serene and free of problems. There will be times when we may feel like we are back in our first day in Alanon with every single character defect unaltered. Working step 10 helps keep our bad times fewer and farther between" What I like about these quotes is it reminds me that it's not always up to someone else to validate me. The programme teaches us to find the good in ourselves as well as the bad and that can help with the detatchment thing that is mentioned in the programme as well alot which can be sometimes very difficult like you said about reacting to things, learning not to do that so much is a big job I think , and takes lots of practice. I don't think I'm especially brilliant at any of this but it's a great learning process ! lol Vickyr x

Hi Vicky - I agree - it's very freeing not to need to have my feelings validated by someone else. I may make mistakes but I continue to mmuddle through one day at a time and try to make today better than yesterday. I need to let you know about CAL that we use. We can use one paragraph at a time but it needs to be preceeded by the copyright paragraph with the copyright date. You can find the paragraph with each Step that's posted. Al-Anon 12 and 12 is 1981 How Al-Anon Works is 1995 Paths to Recovery is 1997 Enjoy your posts - Love - Dot ((((((((Vicky))))))))

-- Edited by dot at 20:51, 2006-04-14