Here are some common characteristics of Acoas ( adults who grew up in alcoholic or other dysfunctional homes) 1) We have feelings of low self-worth, and judge ourselves and others without mercy 2) We tend to isolate and feel uneasy around people we do not know, especially authority figures 3) We are approval seekers , and will do anything to get people to like us 4) We are intimidated by angry people, and personal criticism. 5) We habitually choose to have relationships with people we can pity or rescue 6) We live life as victims and are attracted to other victims in our love and friendship relationships. 7) We are either overly responsible or very irresponsible 8) We feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves or act assertively. 9) We deny, minimize, or repress our feelings. 10) We have dependent personalities and are terrified of rejection or abandonment. 11) Denial, isolation, control, and misplaced guilt lead us to feel helpless and hopless. 12) We have difficulty with intimate relationships. We feel insecure and lack trust in others. We don't have clearly defined boundaries, and become enmeshed with our partner's needs and feelings.

That would definitely be me in every one of those - just reaffirms my knowledge that I had serious issues long before my AH entered my life -

Thanks for this useful post.

Rita

WOW,  there aren't too many of these that DIDNT apply to me...lol,  however the GOOD news is that i am  recovering a lot from a lot of them.......its DAILY step work,  DAILY progam work that keeps me  emotionally sober......rosie

 

Great finding this new thread on Step 1!

I can relate to just about all of it.

It is a strange combination of approval seeking, selfishness, never good enough but overly responsible for things.

It is indeed like a few children are doing my thinking. Just like the program says.

Humbling realization.

OMG, this is me to a T.