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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> Step 2 - ACoA
Post Info TOPIC: Step 2 - ACoA
amanda2u2


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Step 2 - ACoA
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Step 2 - ACoA

from "The Twelve Steps for Adult Children"
"Step One, if worked properly, leaves us feeling empty. We have admitted our own powerlessness and the unmanageability of our lives. So we are left saying, 'If I am powerless and cannot manage my life, who can?' God can! ... This begins the process of trusting that a power greater than ourselves is at work in our lives...
"We prepare for Step 2 by acknowledging that we don't know everything about our Higher Power. Many of us have a distorted view of God... We may believe that God is like our abusive or absent parents or significant others. We may believe that God doesn't care how we feel, that God is cruel and waiting to judge us. We may have been threatened with God's punishment all our lives...
"Preparing for Step 2 requires that we set aside our old images and mistaken beliefs about God. For now we can simply hold on to the words of AA's Second Tradition, '... there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God...
"For many of us, this Step presents major obstacles. Since we find it hards to trust others, the loneliness of our present condition causes us to fall back on our own resources. We may even doubt that a Higher Power can heal us or even be interested in doing so. Unless we let go of our distrust and begin to lean on God, we will continue to operate in an insane manner...
"Step 2 is often referred to as 'The Hope Step'. It gives us new hope as we begin to see that help is available to us. We must simply reach out and accept what our Higher Power has to offer... All we need to do is be willing to believe that a power greater than ourselves is waiting to help us...
"One way God helps us see our condition clearly is to bring us into contact with others who share experiences similar to ours. It becomes evident, when sharing our stories in meetings and through fellowship, that each of us can maintain 'emotional sobriety' only one day at a time. Also, our Higher Power helps us realize that actions destructive to ourselves or to others are not acceptable...
"When we are ready to accept our powerlessness and unmanageability (Step One) and when we trust our Higher Power to restore us to sanity (Step Two) we will be ready to make a decision to turn our lives over to the care of God (Step Three). There is no need to rush the process of working the Steps. We move forward in faith so we will be able to proceed with the remaining Steps. The faith we develop in Step Two is our most important building block in recovery. Our success in the program depends upon our relationship with our Higher Power and our belief that this Power can help us...
"Coming to believe in a Higher Power and admitting we behave in a destructive manner require a great deal of humility... As we work toward a more balanced lifestyle, we see the importance of humility in all our affairs. Our growth is considerably enhanced by our willingness to be humble and accept our humanness."

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do your best and God does the rest, a Step at a time
Vicky R


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thanks Amanda , good reminder not to put trust in something like that , but to find something more gentle with you , I think you mean , nice quote ,

llol Vickyr x

juggle.gif







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chameleon


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Thank you so much Amanda!
What you have said, has put into words what my frustration and anger could not express. In a way that is foreign to my husband. Right now I am finishing up step one and believe me I have been left broken, lonely, a shut down feeling. Wondering why, and if my husband and children would be better off and healthier if I walk away (not out of selfishness), but out of love for them. I do not believe that now, because of the hope many of the people here have written. (I am stepping out in trust.) What I do need to do is walk away from the dysfunction and guilt to want to get better. Whatever it takes!!!
I am taking my time to get the most from each step. Trust, trust is a major major issue with me. I have recently learned that God, I can only trust Him to get so close. I have Him at an arms distance. It's safe that way so I won't get hurt. If this wall can get broken that would really be a miracle. I am especially looking forward to truly knowing God for the first time. Believing that he really loves me and each person who reads this. God is not out for revenge and laughs at my expense.
Thanks for letting me share.
I guess that was not so bad.

Chameleon

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chameleon
amanda2u2


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hi, vicki and chameleon,   what I wrote is really an excerpt from the book , "The 12 Steps for Adult Children".

Chameleon,,   I have had the same problems that you mention here. Steps 1 - 3 really come together, so hang in there for the solution to the 'trust' problem regarding God.  It gets resolved in Step 3. 

love in recovery,

amanda

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do your best and God does the rest, a Step at a time
notcrazy62


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Step 2 is the best step if you ask me. Step 1 is I surrender, I need help. Step 2 says help is available. I found my HP in meetings. I did not trust in God, but as I began to trust the people who shared in meetings, that changed. I saw that change actually was possible. I could hear it in their stories, and see it in their faces. My early reaction was "I want what they have." Trust wasn't an option growing up. It simply does not have a place while in survival mode. But in my meetings I was trusted like I had never been trusted before. As I felt trustworthy, I began to trust them. I opened up, and began to heal. THere is so much spiritual power in recovery I can not even describe it. My pain weighed me down for so many years, and when I finally began to release it, I felt ligther. I felt more like me.

when I learned I could trust myself, my recovery took off. I was no longer afraid to feel my feelings.

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hope1


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Follwoing a relationship breakdown have probably for the first time and certainly on a deeper level than ever before , truly felt how powerless I really am.  The pain of this bottom has cracked my denial and allowed me insight on a deep emotional level into all the fear, shame, fear of abandonment etc. that sat underneath my codependent behaviours.  UP until now I have only really understood this intellectually.   This time I can really feel the pain and the grief that I have read about in recovery books.  I feel so afraid to take step 2.  I do believe in God, but was surprised to learn that deep down I do not believe God will want to heal me..........that recovery might work for other people but not for me. I have been member of CODA and ACOA for several years but usually go in short bursts, stopping attendance when feelings come up.  This time I have been attending Coda religiously for 8 months and for the last 3 have been really struggling with the grief and pain of my childhood, the losses etc. I know I need simply to feel these feelings, but I feel so paralysed by the fear.  What if i never come to believe that God will restore me to sanity? A lifetime of feeling like this is an unbearable thought.  

Would appreciate any tips / experiences on how one comes to believe.

Hope1     

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hope1
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