I have come to believe that a Power greater than myself, greater than my sister's and my husband's addictions, greater than anything I am capable of, can restore me and my loved ones to sanity - but I think it's got to start with me (especially in my husband's case).

1. Have past experiences affected my concept of a Higher Power? I can see where they have, I've had some major ups and downs with God as I see him, I have been angry, dissapointed, and I've had a hard time relying on him as my "Father" being that my earthly father has never been there for me or my sister and has really hurt my sister and IMO is a big reason she became an addict in the first place. Anyway, I've come to a point where I've realized that I have absolutely no control over any of what's going on - that the people in my life have made their own decisions and it's not God's fault. I've got to begin relying on God to help me through this that's going on with my husband and my sister - and whatever else may come my way.

2. How do I describe the Higher Power I found in Al-Anon? Al-anon in itself is a Higher Power - in the short time I've been here, it's helped me to realize that I've got to stop obsessing over my husband (currently alcoholic who's not seeking help yet, I still have a bit of hope) when he's gone at all hours of the night. I've got to live my life, I cannot sit around waiting, being willing to pick him up in the middle of the night, I can no longer be an aide (or enabler) to him in regard to alcohol (or whatever else he's doing). Al-anon has really helped me so far and it's an awesome Power in and of itself. I see Al-anon as a sort of Leader under God (as I see him).

3. What does "Let Go and Let God" mean to me? "Let Go and Let God" to me, means quit trying to handle things that are out of my control (or things I am not meant to handle) and at least try to put my faith in God, whatever the situation may be.